How to Be Seductive

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey

Last Updated: August 19, 2024

If you want to get someone's sexual or romantic attention, being seductive can help. While it may seem complicated, some attention to detail and changes in body language can help. Being seductive requires the right body language and personality. Strive to make eye contact and add subtle touch to situations. Listen to what the other person says and make them feel special. In terms of your outfit, opt for clothing that flatters your body and attracts some attention.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Using Your Body Language

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Make eye contact. The best way to introduce seductive techniques into a situation is eye contact. To start trying to be seductive, lock eyes with the person you're trying to attract. Hold their gaze to get their attention.
- If the person walks over to begin a conversation, maintain eye contact as you talk. People are attracted to those who pay attention to them. Holding someone's gaze can help them feel special, making you come off as seductive.
- Do not hold eye contact for more than a few seconds if someone is not in conversation with you. You do not want to look like you're staring.
Pay attention to your facial expression. Certain facial expressions are read as more seductive than others. When trying to attract someone, subtlety is key in your facial expression. Instead of beaming at the other person, add a small, sly smile. Holding a person's gaze while offering a close-mouthed smile will come off as highly seductive.^{[1]
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Maintain the correct posture. Posture can convey interest, which is a seductive quality. Closing your body off by crossing your arms or looking away can convey a lack of interest. Instead, work on maintaining an open posture to show the person you're interested in them.^{[2]
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- Face the person when they're talking.
- Keep your arms away from your chest. Do not put anything, like a purse or bag, on your lap.
- Lean slightly forward. This conveys a genuine interest in the other person, which can be a seductive quality.
4
Add subtle touch. If the person seems open to your flirtation, introduce light touch. Touch can trigger sexual interest. Do not overdo it. Stick to light, subtle touches.^{[3]
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- For example, gently brush the person's arm or wrist during a conversation.
- If seated, try brushing the person's knees under the table.
Pay attention to the tone you're using when talking. Speak in a soft and pleasant voice. Avoid raising your voice or talking too loud. This can come as angry, and can dampen someone's interest in you.^{[4]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Cultivating the Right Personality

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Make people feel special. People are interested in those who are interested in them. In general, people are most easily seduced by people equipped to make them feel good and special. If you want to be seductive, make a habit of complimenting others and making them feel good about themselves.^{[5]
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- Take genuine interest in what other people do. Ask questions like, "That sounds interesting? What's it like teaching?"
- Pay people compliments that make them feel unique and special. For example, say something like, "It sounds like you work really hard. I bet you put in more effort than most into teaching."
- As you're complimenting someone, couple this with seductive body language. This will help you come off as irresistible.
2
Listen and share. People are attracted to people willing to forge a connection with them. When trying to be seductive, listen to what the other person says. In turn, share things about yourself as well. Simply exchanging information with someone can make you more attractive to them.^{[6]
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- When someone else is talking, give non-verbal cues to show you are listening. Nod, smile, and laugh when appropriate. Occasionally, reiterate what the other person has said to make sure you understood it.
- In turn, answer any questions the other person may have about you. Be willing to talk about your own job, friends, life, and family. Do not dominate the conversation, but create a sense of intimacy by openly sharing.
A good smile and laugh, on occasion, can make you come off as seductive in conversation. Remember to maintain a close-mouthed somewhat mysterious grin much of the time. However, if a joke is made, offer a big smile and a giggle. People will feel flattered by someone who laughs at their jokes.
4
Leave the person wanting more. A little bit of mystery is seductive. When first meeting someone, be the one to put an end to phone conversations, dates, and other get-togethers. If you say goodbye first, the person will be left wanting a little more.^{[7]
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- However, avoid playing games. Only leave if it makes sense to do so. For example, if it's getting late on a date, it's okay to duck out. Do not leave a date halfway through simply to look seductive. This is more likely to alienate the person.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Choosing a Seductive Style

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Wear clothes that flatter your body. There is no one outfit that is universally seductive. It will take some experimentation for you to find a seductive outfit that works for you. Try on a variety of clothing until you find something that flatters your body. Different cuts of shirts, suits, dresses, and jeans will work for different people.
- You want something that shows off your best qualities. For example, if you have very muscular arms, go for a short sleeve t-shirt or button-down.
EXPERT TIP

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach

Try to prepare for the date in a way that's seductive. You want the other person to sit up and take notice when they see you. For instance, you might wear your sharpest-looking outfit. Take the time to style your hair properly, and put a little effort into your makeup if you wear it.
If you wear lipstick, dramatic lipstick may be a draw back when it comes to seduction. Lipstick can be attractive, but keep it subtle. Opt for a soft pink shade over something bright or vibrant.^{[8]
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Opt for seductive scents. Smelling nice can be tremendously seductive. Pick out some pleasant scents of perfume and cologne. Before going out, dab them on your wrists or behind your ears. A nice, fresh scent can be very seductive.^{[9]
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- Be sure to avoid anything overpowering. Stick to subtle scents, like vanilla, over dramatic floral scents. Some people may be bothered by strong smells.
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Wear red. People tend to be attracted to the color red. If you want to be seductive, opt to add some red to your outfit. Wear a red dress or a suit with a red undershirt. Try a flattering red blouse, t-shirt, or button down shirt. Even a pair of red pants can help you be seductive.^{[10]
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- Remember, while red is great in clothing, bright reds for lipstick can be overwhelming.
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Keep your hair clean and shiny. There is no one single hairstyle that is seductive. However, making an effort with your looks is attractive. However you style your hair, keep it clean and shiny. Wash your hair before going out and use a small amount of product, like mousse or gel, to give it an extra gleam.^{[11]
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- Sweet-smelling shampoos can also help give you a seductive scent.

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Question

What is seductive behavior?

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try touching the person on the arm when you're talking, or grab their hand for a second, then let it go.

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Question

How can I be seductive with words?

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Keep things light and playful. If you want to be more seductive, avoid being too serious. Don't treat the other person like they're one of the guys, but don't treat them like they're on an interview, either.

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Can I do this if I want to seduce another woman?

Community Answer

These techniques should generally work on both men and women.

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