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Is there a certain girl you’d like to win over, or are you just hoping to have better luck with the ladies? In any case, learning how to be a gentleman is a great first step. You’ve come to the right place—we’ve put together plenty of day-to-day tricks and conversational tips to help you out. Keep reading to learn how a gentleman treats a woman, as well as how to be a gentleman to your girlfriend.

1

Make eye contact.

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  1. Let’s say you’re chatting with someone, but they’re constantly glancing around and checking their phone. You’d feel like they didn’t care about what you had to say, right? The same logic applies when you’re talking with a girl (or anyone, for that matter!). Eye contact shows that you’re paying close attention and that you care about what she’s talking about.
    • As a good rule of thumb, make eye contact 4-5 seconds at a time for about 70% of your conversation. That way, it won’t seem like you’re staring at her.[1]
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3

Strike up a conversation with questions instead of pick-up lines.

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5

Listen to what she says.

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  1. Repeat what she says in your own words, so you know that you’re on the same page. If she’s having a pretty rough day, say something validating to show that you understand, rather than giving unsolicited advice. Ask some questions, too, to prove that you’re really paying attention.[2] You might say:
    • “If I understand you right, you’re worried about Friday’s math exam because you have soccer practice all week.”
    • “Wow, it’s super frustrating that your friend would say that to you.”
    • “When you say ‘your friend from history class,’ do you mean Jamie?”
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7

Mention details from an old conversation.

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  1. Does her pet bulldog have an upcoming trip to the vet, or is she cramming for a bio test on Thursday? Remembering the little things about her life shows how caring and considerate you are, and that you really listen to what she has to say.[3] You might ask:
    • “How did Buddy’s vet appointment go the other day?”
    • “Did you survive that test? When do you get your scores back?”
    • “I remember you mentioning that you liked the Red Sox, so I figured you’d find this article interesting.”
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Community Q&A

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  • Question
    What if you don't have formal clothes?
    Janice Tieperman
    Janice Tieperman
    Community Answer
    That's totally fine! You don't need to dress in a fancy suit or tux when you're meeting up with a girl—a casual outfit that's clean-cut and nice-looking will get the job done.
  • Question
    Why do men have to be nice to women? Why can't it be the other way around?
    Janice Tieperman
    Janice Tieperman
    Community Answer
    Ideally, everyone should be nice to one another, regardless of gender. At the end of the day, though, acting like a gentleman is all about being respectful and courteous to other people, even if they don't treat you politely in return.
  • Question
    What do I do if a girl doesn't like me?
    Janice Tieperman
    Janice Tieperman
    Community Answer
    It's really tough when the girl you like doesn't feel the same way. Try not to let it get you down, though. You deserve someone who really cares about and appreciates you; it may take some time, but you'll find that girl eventually!
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Tips

  • Try proving to her that you’re reliable. If you promise to cover her shift at work, show up on time and ready to go. If you offer to help her study for a test, meet up with her exactly when you say you will. Gentlemen are many things, but they definitely aren’t wishy-washy!
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Warnings

  • There’s a big difference between being a gentleman and a simp. Too many compliments, too much praise, and too much availability can give the wrong impression. For instance, if a girl asks you for a favor, don’t feel like you have to drop whatever you’re doing to immediately help her out; instead, put your own needs and priorities first.



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About This Article

Laura Bilotta
Co-authored by:
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
This article was co-authored by Laura Bilotta and by wikiHow staff writer, Janice Tieperman. Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms. This article has been viewed 146,777 times.
27 votes - 100%
Co-authors: 24
Updated: July 2, 2024
Views: 146,777
Categories: Flirting | Etiquette
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 146,777 times.

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