How to Be the Best You Can Be

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Co-authored by Lauren Krasny and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: June 21, 2024 Approved

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Most people would like to be the best possible version of themselves, but everyone has a different concept of what that looks like. Although it might be hard to define, there are a few concrete steps you can take to improve your life every day. Read through these tips and tricks to learn how you can become the happiest version of yourself.

1

Figure out what makes you happy.

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What do you really want to do with your life? Maybe you want to get your dream job and live across the globe. Maybe you want to have kids and settle down in a big house in the country. Maybe you want to become an artist and share your craft with the world. Whatever it is, you should keep it at the forefront of your mind as you go along the path to be the best you can be.^{[1]
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- Not everyone has a dream or a huge goal in life, and that’s okay. Your dream might be becoming financially stable and living a happy life. Whatever works for you is what you should strive toward.
- Pursuing your dreams won’t happen in a day, and that’s okay. However, if you identify what your overarching goal is, you can break it down into smaller ones and work toward it over time.

2

Set goals for yourself.

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Make them specific and actionable so you know you can meet them. Sit down and write out a list of things you’d like to get done in the next few months or years. For example, going to the dentist twice a year is a specific and achievable goal. On the other hand, improving your health is too broad and vague.^{[2]
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- You could also have goals like, “Go running twice a week,” “Apply for a new job by the end of the year,” or “Spend time with family members at least once a month.”

3

Exercise and eat well.

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When you feel good physically, you’ll feel good emotionally. Take control of your health by sticking to a balanced diet, getting enough rest, and exercising regularly. Drink a lot of water to stay hydrated, and visit the doctor to take care of any underlying health problems you might have.^{[3]
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- Being healthy doesn’t necessarily mean you need to lose weight or get ripped. It just means that you feel good in your body and you’re confident in your own physical wellbeing.

4

Practice self-care.

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Lower your stress levels with a bit of pampering. Self-care doesn’t have to mean a luxurious bubble bath or spa day—you can try meditating, doing yoga, going for a run, or reading a good book. Try to do something every day that makes you feel good simply because you like it.^{[4]
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- You could also try journaling, painting, listening to new music, taking a nature walk, or playing with a pet.

5

Say no to things you don’t have time for.

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You can also say no to things that don’t make you happy. Only put things on your to-do list that you actually have the time (and the will) to do. If you have more work than you can handle, you’ll probably feel overwhelmed and stretched thin.^{[5]
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- For example, if your child's teacher requests that you direct the school Christmas play but you know that you are especially busy at Christmas time, feel confident saying “no.”

6

Try new things.

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New experiences make you feel better about life. Visit a new country that you’ve been dying to go to. When you get out and explore the world, you’re going to feel more well-rounded. Try not to let the fear of the unknown stop you from any opportunity.^{[6]
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- Trying new things can be intimidating, but it’s important to push yourself outside of your comfort zone.

7

Work on your weaknesses.

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What’s something you’re not super great at? Maybe you get nervous about public speaking or you aren’t the best driver. Make it a goal to better yourself and turn your weaknesses into strengths instead of hindrances.^{[7]
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- For example, if you’re nervous about public speaking, you could take a public speaking class to practice.
- If you aren’t the best cook, buy a few cookbooks and look up tutorials online for some basic recipes.

8

Keep a journal.

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Track your progress as you grow. Set aside 10 to 15 minutes every day to jot down how you’re feeling, what you did that day, and what you’re excited about. It’s okay if you skip a day or two here or there—try to keep the habit up as much as you can.^{[8]
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- After a couple of months, look back and read some old entries that you made. You might be surprised at how far you’ve come.

9

Learn from your mistakes.

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You’re going to fail every now and then, and that’s okay. If you mess up or stumble, take a moment to think about what you learned. In the future, you can use your lesson to avoid the same mistakes and stay on the right path.^{[9]
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- For example, maybe you applied for a promotion in your workplace and you didn’t get it. You might have learned that you need more on-the-job experience before applying to a management position.
- Or, maybe you went back to school and failed one of your classes. Now you know how to manage your time better and that you need to dedicate more time to studying.

10

Take constructive criticism.

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Well-meaning criticism can help you improve your life. It’s easy to get defensive or be offended when you hear something negative about yourself—however, try to use it as a learning opportunity. If someone means well and they’re trying to help you, consider taking what they said as an opportunity to learn and grow.^{[10]
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- For example, your boss might tell you that your presentation lacked conviction. You can use that criticism to make your next one more personal and convincing.

11

Keep a positive attitude.

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Being an optimist means looking at the bright side of things. If you keep a positive attitude, you can reduce your stress and improve your outlook on life. If you catch yourself thinking something negative, challenge it with a positive thought.^{[11]
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- For example, if you catch yourself thinking, “I’ve never done this before,” replace it with, “This is a good opportunity to learn.”
- Or, if you catch yourself thinking, “There’s no way this will work,” try thinking, “I can try to make this work.”

12

Surround yourself with positive people.

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Find friends and family members who will support your journey. If you admire them and think they’re good role models, they’re probably good people. If you find yourself getting down or thinking negatively after spending time with someone, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.^{[12]
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- You might also consider why you admire certain people. What qualities do they possess that you would like to have? You can try to incorporate them into your daily life.
EXPERT TIP

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist

Being a positive person can help your relationships. Make an effort to build strong connections with the people who matter most. Bringing humor, kindness, compassion, and fun into your interactions can make a big difference.

13

Treat your friends with kindness.

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Our relationships can define who we are. Just like you’d want your friends to be kind to you, you should aim to be loving and supportive toward them. Be a shoulder to lean on, push them to achieve their goals, and lift them up in times of stress.^{[13]
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- Think about someone in your life who’s been there for you. Try to emulate them when you talk to your loved ones.

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How can I be on top in life?

Lauren Krasny
Life Coach
Lauren Krasny is a Leadership and Executive Coach and the Founder of Reignite Coaching, her professional and personal coaching service based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She also currently coaches for the LEAD Program at Stanford University Graduate School of Business and is a former Digital Health Coach for Omada Health and Modern Health. Lauren received her coaching training from the Coach Training Institute (CTI). She holds a BA in Psychology from the University of Michigan.

Lauren Krasny

Life Coach

Expert Answer

Come up with a list of things you're grateful for as well, which can help you be more mindful and positive.

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How can you be a pro at Xbox even if your console sucks?

Paul Chernyak, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

Paul Chernyak, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Or better yet get a console that suits you and become a pro at a specific game.

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My hard work is not acknowledged in my company and I feel they underestimate me. What can I do to change this?

Paul Chernyak, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

Paul Chernyak, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

If you don't find your work fulfilling or they don't acknowledge you, it might be time to consider another job or career that is more personally rewarding.

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