How and When to Perform Cord Cutting Rituals

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Free yourself from toxic relationships and self-limiting beliefs

Co-authored by Dan Hickey Reviewed by Stina Garbis

Last Updated: May 12, 2023 Fact Checked

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Using Candles

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Using Visualization

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Moving On

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What is cord cutting?

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When to Cut Cords

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Tips

Perhaps it’s been months since you’ve parted ways with your troublesome ex, but the memories of your time together still plague you. Or maybe you just can’t let go of negative thoughts about yourself, no matter how hard you try to be positive. If this hits close to home, you may need a cord cutting ritual. Cord cutting is a way to spiritually sever your connections to people or situations that sap your energy, and you don’t have to have magical training to do it—all you need are your thoughts. In this article, we’ll show you 2 ways to perform cord cutting ceremonies and how to tell if you really need one. A lighter spirit is just a ritual away!

Things You Should Know

Cleanse your space, then set 2 candles apart and connect them by a string. Focus on the person you’re cutting ties with, then light the candles to burn the string.
Alternatively, meditate and visualize a cord of light connecting you to the other person. See yourself cutting the cord with your hands, scissors, or a blade.
Cut cords whenever you sense that a person or situation is draining your spiritual energy and preventing you from achieving happiness.

Section 1 of 5:

Cord Cutting with Candles

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1
Cleanse the space you plan to perform the ritual in by burning sage. Cleansing clears the room of negative energy and allows you to focus on your ritual work. Grab a sage stick or put some sage into a fireproof bowl, then light it and let it burn for about 20 seconds. Fan the smoke into all corners of the room for a thorough cleanse.^{[1]
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- Put out the smoking sage with water when you’re ready to begin the cord cutting ritual.
- Keep your windows cracked open while you burn sage so the smoke doesn’t accumulate in your home.
- If burning sage indoors isn’t your thing, cleanse your space with purifying incense, a sound bath from a meditation bowl, or a large selenite crystal.
2
Set 2 short candles about 10 in (25 cm) apart, connected by a string. Gather 2 candles, preferably black chime candles (chime candles are often used for magic and burn quickly). Place the candles in candle holders or in small bowls filled with sea salt to hold them upright. Tie a piece of string or twine around the middle of one candle, then tie the other end around the other candle. Pull the candles apart until the string is taut.^{[2]
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- Use a color other than black if black isn’t available (for example, if the person you want to cut cords with’s favorite color is blue, blue candles will work).
- If you’re using bowls with sea salt, make sure the bowls are made of a fireproof material like stainless steel, ceramic, or glass.
- Since the candles may burn for several hours, set them up in an open spot that’s free of clutter or anything “flowy” like curtains. Keep some water on hand to extinguish the flames as a precaution.
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Set an intention to cut ties and thank the person for what you've learned. Take a few moments to meditate or do some deep breathing to focus your energy. Think about the person, relationship, place, or idea that you want to cut cords with and reflect on how holding space for them drains your energy. Thank the person (out loud or silently) for the lessons you’ve learned from their presence in your life.^{[3]
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- Cut cords with a whole person if you want to completely release their energy from your life. Otherwise, cut cords with an aspect of your relationship to keep them in your life (for example, if you want to release someone as a lover but keep them as a friend).
4
Light the candles and declare you want to release the person’s energy. Say something along the lines of “I release this person’s energy from my heart” out loud as you light both candles (the exact wording is flexible as long as your intention to let them go is clear). As the candles burn down, the string will catch fire and burn. This is a physical representation of your energetic bonds to the person fading away.^{[4]
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- Some choose to end the ritual once the string is burned, while others prefer to wait until the candles are entirely spent (chime candles usually take 2 to 2.5 hours to burn down).
- There may be some sparking as the flame reaches the string, so monitor your candles closely.
5
Dispose of the burnt string in a natural water source to end the ritual. Take the ash and burnt bits of the string and place them in a small container (if you supported your candles with sea salt, add the salt, too). Go to a natural water source like a stream or pond and release the burnt string to close your space and end the cord cutting ritual. If there’s no water nearby, use a sink or toilet.^{[5]
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- Some prefer to end the ritual with a mantra about releasing the past as they discard the string. Say something like “I accept that others may not share my path or desires” or “I release my expectations to open myself to the wonders of the universe.”

Section 2 of 5:

Cord Cutting with Visualization

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1
Meditate in a private, quiet place to center your thoughts. Transform your space into a calm refuge to focus on your intention—turn down the lights, silence your electronics, or put on relaxing music if it helps you clear your mind. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing to ground yourself for at least 3-5 minutes.^{[6]
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- Perform a visualized cord cutting in any private spot where you can get comfortable—your bedroom, living room, a patio or outdoor space, or a dedicated meditation or magic room.
2
Picture yourself and the person with a cord of light connecting you. The cord can represent your connection to the whole person, or just your connection to the pain or discomfort of your previous relationship if you plan on keeping them in your life. Keep visualizing that image in your mind and reflect on why you’re cutting the cord and how much lighter you’ll feel once it’s cut.^{[7]
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- Remember to express gratitude to the person or to the universe for the lessons you’ve learned from this connection. Even negative relationships can teach you about self love, empathy, or the traits of your ideal partner.
- If you’re new to visualization or struggling to hold an image in your mind, hold a piece of string or rope in your hands while you work to guide you. Try a white string if the connection was positive, or a black one if was toxic.^{[8]
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- If you have experience seeing auras, visualize your aura enveloping you and wait for energetic cords to “appear” within it. Generally, bright and colorful cords represent positive bonds while dull, dark, or “dead looking” cords sap your energy.^{[9]
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Visualize yourself cutting the cord of light with scissors or your hands. When your intuition tells you you’re ready, imagine yourself snipping the cord with whatever imaginary tool you feel comfortable with.^{[10]
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- If you’re holding a physical string or cord, cut it in half with scissors at the same time you visualize yourself cutting the imaginary cords of light.
- Notice if your energetic cords disappear from your visualization or if they reattach. Stubborn cords may require multiple cord cutting rituals to get rid of completely.^{[11]
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- You don’t have to say anything aloud as you cut if your intention and vision are clear. Some choose to recite short affirmations like “I release this energetic tie that had its hold on me,” or longer phrases like “I call my energy back to me from you. As I sever this cord, so too do I sever the connection between us.”^{[12]
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End with a short affirmation or symbolic action, like breaking a branch. Once the cords are cut, continue meditating and breathing for a few minutes to reflect on how you feel now that the cords are no longer sapping your energy. When you’re ready, open your eyes and recite a final affirmation—say something as simple as “This relationship is over,” or create your own affirmation that’s personal to your situation.^{[13]
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- If you feel the spiritual need to end your session cathartically, go into nature and find a long stick. Break it in half as you recite your affirmation, then leave the pieces on the ground and walk away without looking back.
- If you cut a physical cord during your ritual, burn the pieces of the cord in a fireproof container and release the ashes in the wind or in the trash.^{[14]
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Section 3 of 5:

Moving On after the Ritual

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Distance yourself from the person after the ritual to keep your cords cut. After you’ve cut spiritual cords with someone, you may still see them in real life or feel the urge to reach out to them. This can cause the energetic cord you just release to reattach to you. Meditate or journal to process your feelings after the ritual, focusing on why you cut cords in the first place and how the separation will better your life. Then, keep your eyes peeled for opportunities from the universe to move on and maintain space between you.^{[15]
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- For example, your job may offer to relocate you, or a new coffee shop might open so you don’t have to continually bump into your ex at your old one. You might even have a chance for a heart-to-heart with the person to clear the air and get closure.
- Remember that cords can be reformed just as they can be cut. Stay strong and resist contacting the person, or you may find they’re once again draining your spiritual energy.
- Cord cutting won’t make you feel instantly happier. Give yourself time to grieve or process the separation, practice some self-care, and do things that make you feel good to heal.

Section 4 of 5:

What is cord cutting?

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Cord cutting is a spiritual exercise that releases unhealthy energetic ties to a person or situation. When a person’s energy and spirit are connected to someone or something that no longer serves them—an ex-partner, a toxic friend or family member, a bad habit or self-limiting belief—the person’s energy gets continually drained. Performing a cord cutting ritual severs these connections and allows the person to regain their energy and move on from who or whatever was holding them back.^{[16]
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- Think of cord cutting like a self-care practice. It’s a way to protect your spirit from negative or tiring influences.
- Cord cutting doesn’t have to only be done when things end badly between you and another person. For example, you could break up with someone amicably and want to stay friends. In this case, the cord you cut is your connection to the relationship, not to the person.

Section 5 of 5:

When to Cut Cords

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You may feel yourself connected to an “energy vampire”—someone or something who, no matter how hard you try, keeps reentering your thoughts or dreams in a negative, upsetting way. Consider a cord cutting ritual if the thought or memory of this person regularly makes you anxious, distracts you from your responsibilities, or limits your ability to meet new people and try new things.^{[17]
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Consider whether a cord cutting ritual is really needed before you start. Cord cutting isn’t meant to be done lightly—it won’t irreversibly delete a person from your life and memories, but it will change your relationship with them. For example, if you only dated someone for a few months and things fizzled out amicably, there’s probably no need to perform a ritual. Likewise, if you’ve worked through self-limiting beliefs in therapy and things are going well, a ritual for those old beliefs isn’t really needed.
- If a person, situation, or belief isn’t actively detrimental to your well-being and you’ve managed to put them behind you without magic, a cord cutting ritual isn’t necessary.
- Reserve cord cutting for things like traumatic or intense relationships, places where you experienced major grief or loss, or negative thoughts that are actively making you unhappy.
- Cord cutting is not the same as casting a spell on someone, so the person you cut cords with won’t be very affected. The ritual is a way for you to let go of negative emotions associated with them or your relationship.^{[18]
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Tips

Some practitioners recommend performing cord cutting rituals on full moons, new moons, or Sundays. You may get an energetic boost since these days represent the beginnings of new cycles.^{[19]
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