Ways to Get Your Crush to Like You that Actually Work

PDF download Download Article
Expert advice for attracting your crush
PDF download Download Article

Got butterflies in your stomach whenever your crush walks by? Don’t worry – we’ve got your back! While no magic potion can make them fall for you (wouldn’t that be nice?!), there are tons of ways to show them how amazing – and lovable – you really are. We talked with relationship experts and are sharing their best-kept secrets for catching your crush’s eye. So, get ready to master the art of flirting (without being awkward!), feel like your most confident self, and win your crush’s heart.

How to Make Your Crush Like You

Hang out with your crush to get to know them and ask questions about their interests. Smile, laugh, and make eye contact to let them know you're interested. Be yourself and put your best self forward to show your confidence.

Section 1 of 4:

Getting to Know Each Other

PDF download Download Article
  1. Step 1 Be there for them when they need help or just need to talk.
    The best relationships start as strong friendships. Focus on being the best friend you can be. Support them by doing things like cheering at a game if they’re on the basketball team, helping them study for a test, or getting them a treat when they’re feeling down.[1]
    • Let your crush tell you all about their bad day, an exciting achievement, or whatever else is on their mind. Stay focused on them and ask follow-up questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “What did you do next?”
    • Certified Career & Life Coach Adina Zinn recommends getting rid of distractions to better focus on what your crush is saying to you. She says, “Turn off all the notifications, put away your phone, and maybe try to clear your mind.”[2]
  2. Step 2 Find out what their hobbies and passions are to make a connection.
    People love talking about their hobbies and interests. This includes things like making music, playing sports, reading books, and dancing. Finding out what types of things they love gives you something to talk about with them. You might even find a common interest! Dating and Relationship Coach Mark Rosenfield says talking about things that are either important to you or important to your crush creates a really good conversational vibe.[3]
    • For example, maybe they’re passionate about volunteering at a nursing home. If that’s something you’re also interested in doing, it’s the perfect subject for you to talk about.
    • Ask them directly what they’re interested in. For a less direct approach, try asking one of their friends what they like. If all else fails, check out their social media profiles.
    Advertisement
  3. Step 3 Ask them open-ended questions to learn more about who they are.
    This is one of the best ways to show someone you’re interested while establishing a strong connection. Ask them about their family, pets, hobbies, or any other topic that helps you get to know them, says Rosenfield.[4] This shows that you’re engaged and interested in their life.[5]
    • Zinn suggests trying to be non-judgemental. She says to be open and receptive to what they say. They have ideas that come from different places, but their points of view are valid and important and deserve to be listened to.[6]
    • For example, you might ask them what they’d like to study in college, what makes them the happiest, or what they like about playing the guitar.
    • Asking questions also opens the door to them asking questions about your life so you get to know each other on a deeper level.
  4. Step 4 Listen when they talk so they know you’re interested in what they say.
    Active listening involves focusing on your crush when they’re talking. Give them your full attention, and wait for your turn to talk. Try to remember things they’ve told you to show that you truly do listen and want to hear more of what they have to say.[7]
    • Practice active listening by making eye contact and nodding appropriately when they’re speaking to you.
    • If you're speaking to them over text or social media, try to respond to their messages in a timely manner. Think about what they said before sending your reply.
  5. Step 5 Spend lots of time together to help build attraction.
    The more time you spend around someone, the more likely they will be attracted to you. Rosenfield recommends asking them to spend more one-on-one time by going out to do exciting or inspiring things.”[8] Go to an amusement park or museum (if they enjoy art). Try to hang out with your crush as much as possible, whether it’s in a large group, with just a few other friends, or alone.[9]
    • Try doing different activities when you’re with each other, like going to a movie, hanging out in a park with friends, or even just sitting together at lunch.
    • If they’re always hanging around with friends, suggest a group activity with you and your friends. Host a game night or sing karaoke. Any event that you’re both interested in works.
    • If the two of you are friends who hang out a couple of times a month, ask them to spend time once a week. Or go somewhere at night, like dinner or a movie.
  6. Step 6 Share your unique interests and opinions to show them your true self.
    Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not or fake interest in what they like just so your crush will like you. When you’re being your true self, you’ll seem more confident and relaxed than you would if you were faking it. This makes it more likely your crush will be attracted to you, says Rosenfield.[10]
    • Don’t forget to share your hobbies and passions with your crush!
  7. Step 7 Show them your playful side with jokes and funny stories.
    If your crush sees you having a good time, they’ll be more likely to want have fun with you, says Rosenfield.[11] Try telling your crush funny stories about yourself. Or just be laid-back and goofy around them to show your humorous side.[12]
    • Show off your wit or save your best jokes for when you’re hanging out or texting with your crush.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 1955 wikiHow readers to tell us which qualities make a person most attractive to them, and 56% said charm and a sense of humor (keep that in mind while you work on winning your crush's heart). [Take Poll]
  8. Step 8 Be mysterious by letting them get to know you a little bit at a time.
    Instead of telling your crush everything at once, try to take it slow and let them learn about you in small tidbits. And make sure you have other stuff going on in your life. Dating Coach Cher Gopman says, “Coming off as too available is actually going to turn that other person away. So you want to make sure you leave a little bit to mystery.”[13]
    • Remember, constantly talking about yourself may overwhelm your crush. Instead, space out the information you tell them, making them want to hear more about you.[14]
    • If your crush asks you a question about your life, like “What’s your favorite thing to do in your free time?” answer and then ask your crush a question to keep the conversation flowing naturally.
    9. Advertisement
Section 2 of 4:

Looking Your Very Best

PDF download Download Article
  1. Step 1 Keep yourself neat, clean, and smelling good.
    Good hygiene involves doing things like brushing your teeth, showering, and putting on deodorant. Keep your body clean by washing your face daily and lathering with soap when you shower. When you take care of your body, you’ll look and feel more attractive.[15]
    • Wash your hair every couple of days, using conditioner after you shampoo if desired.
    • Wear clean clothes daily to ensure you look and smell fresh. Laundry & Cleaning Specialist Rani Gorgis recommends starting with a good laundry detergent to make sure your clothes smell good and then using dryer sheets to help keep clothes fresh longer.[16]
  2. Step 2 Dress in clothing that shows off your personal style.
    Gopman says, “I'd say dress casual, but [in] something that shows off your best self, something that you feel confident in and you think you look good in.”[17] Try not to wear certain clothes just because they’re in fashion or you think your crush would like them. Pick out clothes you feel confident in, and that reflect your personality.[18]
    • For dances or special occasions, pick trendy clothes you truly like and that fit well.
    • Wear fitted jeans and a t-shirt with a picture of your favorite band or book to show your interests.
  3. Step 3 Stand up straight with your chin up and shoulders back.
    Gopman says to take a deep breath, lift your shoulders, and stand up straight to relax, which gives you natural energy.[19] Plus, you’ll look more attractive and feel more confident if you have great posture. Sit or stand up straight, and avoid crossing your arms in front of you.
    • Crossing your arms over your chest gives the impression you’re closed off to the conversation and the other person.
    • Avoid hunching over when walking or sitting at a table.
    4. Advertisement
Section 3 of 4:

Flirting to Show Your Interest

PDF download Download Article
  1. Step 1 Smile to show you’re a friendly person.
    A natural smile brightens your entire look, making it a simple way to help attract your crush. It’s also a great way to flirt with your crush without being too obvious. Try to smile more often when you’re around your crush, even if you’re not directly talking to them. It makes you look and feel naturally happier…which is always a good look![20]
    • For example, smile at your crush if you see them in the hallway, or give them a smile when talking to them about their weekend plans.
    • If you're texting your crush or using social media, try sending them a smiley face symbol or emoji.
    EXPERT TIP
    Cher Gopman

    Cher Gopman

    Dating Coach
    Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
    Cher Gopman
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach

    Smiling and eye contact are the most important types of body language. Smiling at another person shows you're engaged with them. It also helps them to feel more at ease with you. Strong eye contact is a signal that you're flirting. But make sure there's a balance, or you might seem intimidating.

  2. Step 2 Hold eye contact to show your interest.
    Rosenfield says, “So the biggest thing with eye contact is you've got to hold it a lot more than you think you do. You have to hold it for three to four seconds. And once you can do that, add a smile as well.”[21] When your crush looks at you, hold their gaze for a few seconds and smile before looking away.
    • This extra eye contact hints that you like them, and it may stir up feelings inside them too.
    • Make eye contact when you're talking with your crush. This lets them know you’re focused on them and interested in what they think.
  3. Step 3 Lean in when you’re chatting so they know you’re listening.
    This shows you’re interested in what they’re saying or doing. Whether you’re sitting across from them at a table or standing a few feet from one another, try to lean towards them a couple of inches. This shows you’re engaged, recommends Rosenfield.[22]
    • For example, if you’re sitting in class at separate desks, lean your body towards them when asking your crush a question or telling them about your day.
    • Gopman says, “If you're leaned backward, it's showing a sign of uninterest or disinterest. If you lean forward, it's a sign of interest.”[23]
  4. Step 4 Laugh at your crush’s jokes to show your sense of humor.
    And as you laugh, playfully and lightly tap your crush on the shoulder or rest your hand on their arm. This lets them know you're paying attention to what they are saying, says Gopman. She cautions, “You don't want to leave the hand there for too long. But if they're laughing and having a good conversation, don't be afraid to give a little touch here and there.”[24]
    • Don't overdo the laughing, though. Only laugh when you genuinely find something funny, or it might seem awkward.
    5. Advertisement
Section 4 of 4:

Confessing Your Feelings

PDF download Download Article
  1. Step 1 Choose a time when it’s just you and your crush without distractions.
    Confess your feelings when you and your crush have a little privacy. A public declaration may work in the movies, but it puts pressure on the other person. They may feel awkward and uncomfortable even if they like you back. Invite your crush somewhere, like a quiet coffee shop or out for a walk. Then, when you both feel comfortable and relaxed, confess how you feel about them.[25]
    • Make sure you have their full attention. Don’t confess your feelings if they’re in a bad mood or stressed out.
  2. Step 2 Be honest and direct when you tell them how you feel.
    Express your feelings authentically by starting your sentences with “I.” That way, you take ownership of your emotions, which makes them seem more genuine.[26] Be sincere and direct so your crush won’t misunderstand what you’re saying.
    • Say something like, “We’ve been spending more time together lately. I’ve been having so much fun. I really like you and want to be more than just friends.”
    • Avoid making a joke of it or acting too casual by saying something like, “Love ya!”
    • Being honest about your feelings is good for you, even if the other person doesn’t feel the same way.[27] So, give yourself a pat on the back for being brave!
  3. Step 3 Write a note or email if you feel anxious or shy about talking face to face.
    If you're very shy, you may feel better confessing your feelings with a note. Consider writing your crush a note and leaving it somewhere, like their locker or desk. Or send your crush an email to tell them how you feel.[28]
    • For example, write something like, “Hey, I'm really shy, so it’s hard for me to say this, but I wanted you to know I have feelings for you.”
    • Make sure to mention that you’re writing them a note instead of talking to them face to face because you’re shy. Sometimes, a crush may be offended or think you aren’t serious if you write a note instead of just talking to them.
    • Don’t send an anonymous note. It defeats the purpose of confessing your feelings, because they don’t know who’s writing the note.
    • An anonymous note can backfire if your crush assumes the letter is from someone else.
  4. Step 4 Ask them out on a date if they express interest in you.
    Rosenfield recommends using the things you’ve learned about them to get ideas for dates.[29] For example, if your crush told you they love a certain musician, you might ask them to go to see them in concert.
    • If you can’t tell if your crush likes you back or they’re giving mixed signals, the best thing to do is ask them directly how they feel.
    • Say something like, “I don’t want to pressure you or anything, but do you think you might be interested in going out with me?” or “I really like you, and I’m curious to know how you feel about me.”
  5. Step 5 Don’t take it personally if they don’t like you back.
    Rejection is hard, but you can’t control their emotions. If they aren’t interested in dating you, that’s okay. You’ve built a great friendship. Stay true to yourself, and keep putting yourself out there until you find someone who realizes how great you are.[30]
    • Just because this person didn’t like you “that way” doesn’t mean someone else won’t.
    • The way you handle rejection says a lot about you as a person. Demonstrate how amazing you are by handling it with grace and showing your crush respect.
    6. Advertisement

Join the Discussion...

How do I impress my crush without being cringe?
WikiOcelotTrader472
34
WikiOcelotTrader472
I (16 f) want to get my crush (17 m) to notice me in a romantic way, but I don’t want to be too cringey or obvious about it. I sort of just wan... Read More
Mark Rosenfeld
Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
I think having good social energy is one of your best bets if you want someone to notice you that way. Do your best to be visibly social, smile a... Read More
WikiSkyDancer042
WikiSkyDancer042
Try to learn what his interests are, and then get into them. Even better if you can get really good at them. For example, if you know that he goe... Read More
See all 3 Replies and
Read Discussion

Expert Q&A

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    How do I get my crush to notice me?
    Mark Rosenfeld
    Mark Rosenfeld
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach based in Norman Park, Australia. He founded his coaching business, Make Him Yours, in 2015. Mark specializes in helping women find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon upon its release.
    Mark Rosenfeld
    Mark Rosenfeld
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    Start up a conversation with them! For instance, you might make a comment when you see them in class or brush past them in the hallway. Try to hold eye contact for a little longer when you talk with them, and let the eye contact linger for a little more as you walk away.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
     Thank you for your feedback.
     If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 32 Helpful 115
  • Question
    How do I make the first move on my crush?
    Mark Rosenfeld
    Mark Rosenfeld
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach based in Norman Park, Australia. He founded his coaching business, Make Him Yours, in 2015. Mark specializes in helping women find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon upon its release.
    Mark Rosenfeld
    Mark Rosenfeld
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    Pay attention to the little things they mention in a conversation. For instance, if they talk about having a dog, you might say something like, "You've got to introduce me to your dog someday." If they're a tennis player, you might say, "We've gotta hit the tennis courts sometime so you can introduce me to the sport." If the other person seems enthusiastic, you can do a number exchange right away to set things up.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
     Thank you for your feedback.
     If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 36 Helpful 103
  • Question
    How can you make your crush fall in love with you?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    You can’t really make anyone fall in love with you—only they can decide how they feel! The best you can do is spend time getting to know them, treat them with kindness and respect, and be your best self around them. From there, it’s up to them!
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
     Thank you for your feedback.
     If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 146 Helpful 427
See more answers
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
Advertisement

Video

Reader Videos

Tips

Show More Tips

Tips from our Readers

  • Ask a mutual friend to ask your crush if they like you or not so you don't have to guess. If you find out they like you, be subtle about it but be nice and flirty with them.
  • A subtle thing to do is walk past your crush and give them compliments in passing. That can let them know you're interested and make them feel really good about themselves.
  • Wear red because some studies show that men and women both find people wearing red more attractive.
Submit a Tip
All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
Name
Please provide your name and last initial
Submit
Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
Advertisement

You Might Also Like

Does My Crush Like Me QuizDoes My Crush Like Me Quiz
Talk to Your Crush Without Being Crushed
How to
Talk to Your Crush Without Being Crushed
Know if You Have a Crush on a Guy
How to
Know if You Have a Crush on a Guy
Tell if He Likes You
How to
Tell if a Guy Has a Crush on You
Cute Names to Call Your Crush150+ Sweet & Playful Nicknames to Call Your Crush
Conversation Starters for Crush150+ Things to Talk About With Your Crush: Deep, Flirty, & Funny Topics
Body Language of a Man Secretly in Love with You17 Physical Signs Someone Is in Love with You
Signs Your Crush Doesn't Like You
How to
Tell if Your Feelings Are Unrequited: Expert Insight
Let Your Crush Know You Like Them
How to
Let Your Crush Know You Like Them
Recognize That You Have a Crush on Someone
How to
Recognize That You Have a Crush on Someone
How Did You Sleep
How to
Reply to “How Did You Sleep?”
Know if a Guy Is Thinking About YouNo Need to Guess! 11 Signs to Know if a Guy Is Thinking About You
Tell That Your Crush Likes You Back
How to
Tell That Your Crush Likes You Back
Signs a Married Man Likes You but Is Hiding ItClear Signs a Married Man Likes You, According to the Experts
Advertisement

References

  1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-for-happiness/202304/how-to-emotionally-support-someone
  2. ↑ Adina Zinn, MPA. Certified Career & Life Coach. Expert Interview. 30 March 2022.
  3. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
  4. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
  5. ↑ https://www.bps.org.uk/research-digest/how-master-art-conversation-according-psychology
  6. ↑ Adina Zinn, MPA. Certified Career & Life Coach. Expert Interview. 30 March 2022.
  7. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/become-a-better-listener-active-listening
  8. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
  9. ↑ https://extension.usu.edu/relationships/research/from-time-to-quality-time-making-every-moment-count
  1. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
  2. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
  3. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/relationship-help
  4. ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview.17 May 2019.
  5. ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/is-your-relationship-moving-at-a-healthy-pace-according-to-experts/
  6. ↑ https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/personal-hygiene
  7. ↑ Rani Gorgis. Laundry & Cleaning Specialist. Expert Interview. 7 April 2021.
  8. ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview.17 May 2019.
  9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/articles/201207/outside-in-dress-impress-yourself
  10. ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview.17 May 2019.
  11. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/flirting
  12. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
  13. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
  14. ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview.17 May 2019.
  15. ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview.17 May 2019.
  16. ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a43339872/how-to-tell-someone-you-love-them/
  17. ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a43339872/how-to-tell-someone-you-love-them/
  18. ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/how-to/how-to-tell-someone-you-love-them/
  19. ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/how-to/how-to-tell-someone-you-love-them/
  20. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
  21. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201107/dealing-with-rejection-handling-others-rejecting-behavior

About This Article

Mark Rosenfeld
Co-authored by:
Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
This article was co-authored by Mark Rosenfeld and by wikiHow staff writer, Aimee Payne, MFA. Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach based in Norman Park, Australia. He founded his coaching business, Make Him Yours, in 2015. Mark specializes in helping women find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon upon its release. This article has been viewed 3,165,336 times.
4 votes - 75%
Co-authors: 363
Updated: December 11, 2024
Views: 3,165,336
Categories: Crushes
Article SummaryX

If you have a crush on someone and you want them to like you back, spend some time talking to them so you can find things you have in common. Be supportive when they’re feeling down, offer to help if they’re having trouble with something, and tell jokes to make them laugh so they can see what a good friend you are. Also, try to act as relaxed and comfortable as possible when your crush is around so they feel at ease. Finally, be sure to smile and make eye contact with your crush to show that you're interested and happy being around them! For tips on showing off your playful side, keep reading!

Did this summary help you?

In other languages
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 3,165,336 times.

Reader Success Stories

  • Elizabeth Black

    Elizabeth Black

    Apr 8, 2017

    "I have been trying to tell my crush that I like him, but it's been hard because he is almost perfect in every..." more
More reader stories Hide reader stories
Share your story

Did this article help you?

Advertisement