How to Get a Man to Marry You

Co-authored by Cristina Morara and Amy Bobinger, BA

Last Updated: August 5, 2023 References

When you're in love, it's natural to want to spend the rest of your life with that person. However, it can be frustrating if you find yourself waiting around for the man you love to propose to you. If you want to get married, focus on creating a healthy, strong relationship that will last a lifetime. Also, work on being the best version of yourself, as this will make both you and your partner happier. Finally, if you need to, try dropping a few hints to let him know you're thinking of marriage.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Building a Healthy Relationship

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1
Plan to marry someone whose personal values are compatible with yours. Your values are things like your views on family, money, faith, and how you treat others. If you see eye-to-eye on these types of things, it's going to be a lot easier for the two of you to be on the same page as you build a life together.^{[1]
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- Sometimes, marriage can work when you have opposing values, but it will take a lot more compromise and cooperation, and those issues may potentially be a source of conflict later on.
- For instance, if you believe it's important to raise your children in church but your boyfriend hates organized religion, you may find yourself arguing about that if you have children together one day.
- Talk about the future in a way that always includes him.^{[2]
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  Expert Source
  
  Cristina Morara
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
2
Take your time getting to know his views on marriage. Marriage is a big step, and just because you're excited about it, it doesn't necessarily mean your guy is. As you get to know each other better, ask him questions that might show what he thinks about the concept of marriage in general. If he's not ready to get married, there's probably not anything you can do to change his mind.^{[3]
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- For instance, if he opens up about past relationships, watch for signs of anything in his history that might make him afraid of commitment. If he has been hurt before, he might need extra time before he can open his heart enough to consider marriage.
- He might also say things like, "Marriage is just a piece of paper," which might indicate that he has no intention of getting married.
- You want to take the time to create a solid foundation with this man in your relationship.^{[4]
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  Expert Source
  
  Cristina Morara
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
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3
Be honest with each other. If you want a man to marry you, he has to trust you completely. In turn, if he's the right man for you to marry, you should also feel that you're able to trust him. That kind of trust requires being open and honest with each other. Don't lie to him, and don't tolerate dishonesty from him, either.^{[5]
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- Honest and consistent communication makes it clear you're committed to him.^{[6]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Cristina Morara
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
Tip: If your gut tells you that you need to hide something, like meeting a friend for lunch, think about why you feel that way. If your guy might have a valid reason for objecting, like your friend has strong feelings for you, you might skip that lunch. If he has a habit of being unreasonable or controlling, or you feel like he's trying to keep you apart from your friends, that could be indicative of abusive behavior.
4
Accept responsibility for your part in an argument. At some point or another, disagreements will come up in your relationship. If things do get out of hand and an argument ensues, apologize for the things you said or did that contributed. That way, he'll be able to see that the two of you can overcome anything together in a mature way, which may help ease any fears he has over being married.^{[7]
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- During an argument, try to express your feelings without resorting to name-calling or losing your temper. Ask him to treat you with the same respect, as well.
- Don't let anyone manipulate you into taking all the blame for a disagreement. In almost every case, both of you will have contributed to the situation.
5
Give him compliments and reassurance. If you want your guy to feel like he can happily spend the rest of his life with you, take every opportunity you can to build him up. Frequently tell him how much you love him and how much he means to you, and give him specific compliments on the qualities and features you love most about him.^{[8]
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- For instance, you might say things like, "You're such a hard worker, and I really respect that about you," or "I love your smile!"
- If he's feeling nervous about a job interview, you might say, "You're so smart and you're more than qualified for the position. If they don't choose you, they don't deserve to have you!"
6
Be supportive when he goes through hard times. In a strong and healthy marriage, you'll need to encourage each other, solve problems together, and uplift one another when times get really hard. By showing him that he can rely on you, he may feel more inclined to spend the rest of his life with you.^{[9]
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- For instance, if he's feeling sad because someone in his family passed away, you might just sit quietly with him, holding his hand. Don't pressure him to talk—he will if he wants to.
- If he's feeling stressed about work, you might prepare a nice meal for him or take him out somewhere out for dinner so he can unwind.
7
Watch for red flags in the relationship. Sometimes when you're caught up in infatuation, it can be hard to slow down and recognize early warning signs. For instance, if he grabs you, pushes you, or screams at you during an argument, that type of behavior is likely to escalate in the future.^{[10]
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- Other red flags might include trying to keep you away from your family and friends, putting you down or making you feel bad about yourself, blaming you for his actions, or insisting that he take control of both of your finances.
Tip: If you believe you are in an abusive relationship, reach out to family, friends, or a support group who can help you leave safely.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Loving Yourself

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1
Pursue your own interests and encourage him to do the same. In a healthy relationship, you should each still have your own hobbies and friends. Not only will that help you feel more fulfilled and self-confident, but it will make your relationship stronger. Having a little time apart allows you to miss each other, and you'll have more to talk about when you do see each other!
- For instance, you might go for a bike ride with your best friend while he's watching a football game with his buddies.
- Of course, if you have the same interests, feel free to enjoy them together! Just don't be afraid to do things on your own, as well.
2
Take time for self-care. When you get the chance, make it a priority to spend time taking care of yourself. You'll feel happier and more relaxed, and your guy will likely love knowing that you can be responsible for your own well-being. This may make him more likely to propose, but even if it doesn't, you'll still get all the benefits from that self-care!^{[11]
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- Self-care might be something physical like relaxing in a bubble bath while you deep condition your hair, but it could also mean anything that makes you feel mentally, spiritually, or emotionally healthy, like practicing yoga or meditation, going for a long, quiet walk, or writing in your journal.
3
Repeat positive affirmations if your self-confidence gets low. Almost everyone struggles with self-doubt sometimes. If you start to feel like you aren't good enough, make a list of your best qualities. Then, look in the mirror and say those things out loud to yourself.^{[12]
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- For instance, you might say, "I'm a really good friend, and I try hard to make other people feel good about themselves. I'm worthy of being loved."
- If you're struggling with your self-confidence because you haven't been proposed to, you might remind yourself of the good things your guy has done for you. For example, you might say, "Jason drove 2 hours to see me the day I failed my Economics test. I know he loves me, even if we're not engaged."
4
Work hard to try to be financially independent. Being able to contribute to the household and make your own financial decisions will give you a great deal of self-assurance. Pursue a career that suits your personality, talents, and interests. When you're at your job, work hard and treat your higher-ups with respect, which may help you advance to higher positions over time.^{[13]
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- In some cases, concerns about finances may be the reason that he hasn't proposed yet, so being financially secure may help relieve some of his stress.
5
Exercise regularly to stay healthy and relieve stress. Exercising 20-30 minutes a day is one of the best ways to help relieve stress. Try going for a jog in the afternoons for an easy way to get in a little cardio. You could also join a yoga class, participate in a sport like swimming or softball, try strength training, or follow along with exercise videos in your living room.^{[14]
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- In addition to the stress-relieving benefits, exercising will help your body be fit and strong, which can help boost your self-esteem.
- Looking and feeling your best will make you seem more attractive to the man you love, so he might even be more inclined to propose to you.
Tip: Try working out together for some healthy bonding time!

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Letting Him Know You're Interested in Marriage

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1
Talk about your future together. If you want to gauge how interested your man is in marriage, try bringing up your plans for the future. For instance, you might talk about where you'd like to live, whether or not you'd like to have children, or what type of career you'd like to eventually have. Casually mention him as part of the plans, then pay attention to his reaction.
- For example, you might say something like, "I'd love for us to take a trip to Europe together one day." That will let him know he's included in your dreams.
- If he says something like, "I'd really love that!" then he may be thinking of a future together, too. If his answer is non-committal, like "Yeah, maybe," he may not be as invested as you are.
2
Spend time with happily married couples. Seeing other people in a happy, committed relationship might just get him thinking about popping the question, too.If either of you have friends who are great examples of a healthy, strong marriage, try to make plans with them whenever you can.
- For instance, you might have cook-outs, plan fun double-dates to movies or restaurants, or even go on a trip together.
- Attending a wedding together can be another way to get marriage on his mind.^{[15]
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3
Point out engagement rings you like for an obvious hint. If you really want him to know that you're hoping to be engaged soon, pick up a magazine or catalog featuring engagement rings. Then, casually browse through it when he's around, and show him a few of the ones you really love.
- Not only will this let him know you're thinking of marriage, but it will help him know what your tastes are. For instance, he might be imagining a classic ring with a large diamond, while you might prefer a non-traditional gemstone or an unusual design.
- Try not to show him rings that are way out of his price range. If he thinks your tastes are more expensive than he can meet, he might be hesitant to buy a ring at all.
- If you'd prefer not to have a ring at all, you can tell him that instead of showing him rings. It will still let him know you're thinking about marriage.
Tip: It's okay to talk to your guy about engagement rings. However, don't inundate him with wedding talk before he ever proposes, or he might feel overwhelmed and pressured.
4
Propose to him if you think he's ready but hasn't made the move yet. Don't be afraid to take charge! If you really want to be engaged but your man hasn't popped the question yet, there's no reason you can't ask him, instead. It's up to you whether you get down on one knee or offer a ring, but do make it clear that you're asking him to marry you.^{[16]
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- Try to think of a way to make the proposal special and personal, like taking him to the place where you had your first date or a spot with a really romantic view. Once you're there, tell him how much he means to you, then ask him if he'll be yours forever!

Expert Q&A

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Question

How can I get my man to marry me fast?

Cristina Morara
Dating Coach
Cristina Morara is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, Relationship Expert, and the Founder of Stellar Hitch Private Matchmaking, a luxury matchmaking service based in Los Angeles that serves clients nationwide and internationally. As a former casting director, Cristina specializes in finding the perfect partner through her exclusive global network and detailed, warm approach. Cristina holds a BA in Communications and Psychology from Villanova University. Stellar Hitch has been featured in the Huffington Post, Chelsea Handler’s Netflix documentary, ABC News, the Tonight Show, Voyage LA, and the Celebrity Perspective.

Cristina Morara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

First, make him a priority. Then communicate honestly and consistently so it’s clear that you are committed to him. Eventually you can talk about the future in a way that always includes him. When you take the time to create a solid foundation with someone, it becomes clear that you want to build a future with them.

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How do I know if a man loves me?

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He won't make excuses; he will make time. He will find beauty in your uniqueness and your flaws. He will accept you for who you are and not want to change you. He will take pride in introducing you to his friends and family. When he thinks of his future, you're definitely in it. If you are in need, he will be there for you. He will support everything you do, whether it be abstract finger painting or studying law. He will value your opinion and listen when you're talking.

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How do I get a man to respect me?

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You should respect yourself first. You need to show him that you respect yourself more than anyone does, and establish your boundaries if necessary. If he's a good man, then there's no need for you to ask for respect. A man who truly loves you will respect you no matter who you are.

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Warnings

Don't try to pressure or trick a man into marrying you. If you do, it's likely to be an unhappy marriage, and it may not last.

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