How to Get an 11 Year Old Girl to Like You

Co-authored by Michelle Jacoby

Last Updated: July 8, 2024 Approved

Having a crush in middle school or even elementary school can be a lot to handle. Love is a powerful emotion that can bring you to the top of the mountain and cause you to hurdle down it. Know that your feelings are natural and that girls feel it too. If you work on yourself and try your luck, you might be able to hang out with the girl you like.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Taking Care of Your Appearance

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1
Wear tidy clothes. Not many girls, at any age, want to date a dirty boy. It’s good to get into the practice of taking care of yourself at an early age. Don’t wear clothes that you recently wore and make sure nothing looks dirty. Wear the “nice” clothes that are in your wardrobe when you know you will see this girl.
- Have your parents or guardians buy you t-shirts with a collar and pants that aren’t denim.^{[1]
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You should clip your nails, wash your hair, and brush your teeth on a daily basis. Never leave the house without doing these things. One thing that girls dislike especially is bad breath.

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3
Choose a deodorant. A common mistake made by many young boys is spraying too much Axe on themselves. Instead, go to the hygiene section of a local convenience store and find the fragrance that best suits you. Pick out something that contains musk in the smell. Musk is a popular smell for boys and it'll show off your maturity.^{[2]
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- If you use a spray on deodorant, only spray underneath each arm once. Do not hold down the nozzle until you've covered your entire body.
- A stick or dry deodorant is more subtle and less obnoxious.
4
Get a haircut. It is unpopular for an eleven year old boy to enjoy getting their hair cut, but having the right cut will help you out. Look through magazines and look at celebrity haircuts. Pick out a few that stand out to you. Ask your mom or sister’s opinion on what type of hairstyle you should get.
- Getting a second opinion can help your chances of picking out the best haircut that will suit your attributes.
- Bring in a photo of a style you want.^{[3]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Learning Her Interests with Confidence

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1
Notice her at school. Once you decide that you “like” someone, go for it. Observe her without staring or being too creepy. Take mental notes of things she says in the classroom. See who her group of friends are. Notice if she hangs out with a boy already.
- Do not begin to stalk this girl, or else you may get a bad reputation.
2
Ask about her. Ask one of her friends what she enjoys doing. A good way to get her to take notice of you, is to begin asking questions about her. Her friend will definitely tell the girl that you are asking about her. Regardless of how she feels about you, this will flatter her. You could potentially ask something like:
- ”What does Samantha like to do on the weekends?”
- ”Do you know if Jasmine has a favorite book?”
- ”Does Jamie have a boyfriend?”
3
Be confident. You need to put yourself out there and that involves being vulnerable to being made fun of. You can combat feeling embarrassed by having a positive outlook on your actions. If you are asking about a girl you like, then you’re acting normal.
- People who tease you for this are insecure that they don’t have the courage to talk to the ones they like.^{[4]
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4
Be considerate. Never talk down about the girl you like when confronted about your feelings. Stand up for her and yourself. It is easy for some to try to back out of liking someone when they are in the spotlight. Say nice things about her and she’ll appreciate your respect.^{[5]
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- Remember the point is for the girl to like you and not for a group of kids to like you.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Being Yourself

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You need to embrace the age that you are at. If you are eleven, you have a couple more years until you are really in the depths of puberty.^{[6]
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Research source} There is no need to feel self-conscious that you don’t have leg hair, or that your voice hasn’t dropped. All this will come in time. Honesty is the best way to earn somebody’s respect.
2
Have a hobby that you enjoy. If you learn that she is only interested in horseback riding, you should not drop all your passions to afford a saddle. Let her determine if your interests are compatible. If you are trying out different activities and unsure what you wish to pursue, keep trying things out. It helps later in life if you begin practicing a hobby young in life like piano, dance, soccer, drawing, or even film making.
- Just take a chance if you want to do something.
3
Keep your friends close. As you begin to enter into your adolescent years, friend groups become more important as family life decreases.^{[7]
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Research source} Try to avoid fighting with your family during this transitional period. Don’t ditch your friends because you don’t think they’re cool anymore. Stay true to who you are and keep your friends in on who you have a crush on.
- If they are good friends, they’ll help you figure out ways to get this girl to start to notice you.
- If you are in the wrong friend circle, they could ridicule you for your crush and start nasty rumors. Leave hazardous friend circles for the friends that respect and enjoy your company.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Bonding with Her

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1
Talk to her. Next time you see her, start talking to her. Don't go right out and say "I like you." That isn’t always the best technique, but being direct is a positive trait. Talk to her about a casual topic like school, sports, or teachers. Try to get to know her better. Find out general information about her, but don't get too personal. Become her friend.
- If you’re unsure about what to say, just say “Hey Kristen,” when you pass her in the hall. It might not seem like a lot, but it is sure to catch her attention.
- Don't be scared to talk to her.
- Smile and make eye contact.^{[8]
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Find a mutual interest and talk to her about it. Say you both enjoy drawing, ask to see one of her drawings, and tell her if you like it. If you both enjoy fantasy movies, strike up a conversation about a specific movie. One of the keys of bonding over a mutual interest is to bring up something specific.^{[9]
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Research source} This will require you both to engage in conversation stronger than normal chit-chat.
3
Compliment her. A good way of getting romantic thoughts into her head is to compliment her every once in awhile. You can compliment her outfit when you think it looks nice, but don't feel restricted in complimenting her appearance.^{[10]
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- ”Angie, your dress is really pretty.”
- ”Good job on that math problem! I was totally stumped.”
- ”Your outfit complements your eyes.”
A great way to develop a closer bond with the girl you like is to make her laugh. Use your natural humor on her and don’t memorize other peoples' jokes. Even if you’re unsure or nervous, just be a little silly in front of her. Start an inside joke between the two of you. Inside jokes are a great way to bring people together.^{[11]
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5
Tell her your feelings. After you’ve talked a few times and your friends, ask her if she likes you. She probably will blush. If she does, then it may mean she likes you back. If she doesn't, the odds aren't so great. Don't ask her too early in a friendship or it will seem like you are pushing it.
- If she does blush or express interest, ask her out. Make sure you two are alone. Also, try to keep it low key or else it might spread throughout the whole school.
- If she doesn't blush, you have to be okay with being friends for the moment. She might ask why you asked that, and don't try to play it off with, "nothing." Be upfront and honest with her.
6
Be yourself. Regardless of how confronting her went, you need to keep yourself in check. Whatever you do, don't try to make yourself popular. Be yourself, not the person you think she wants you to be.
- If she tries to change you, back down. Girls that try to change you are not right for you because they don't like who you are.
- Be talented but don't show off. For instance, write a song or short story (not directly about her) and show it to your friends. When people praise your skills, it might get her interested.
- The key is be yourself.^{[12]
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How do I find out if a girl at school likes me?

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If she likes you, she might stare at you in class, make excuses to be around you, and put effort into looking good around you.

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I told a girl I liked her and she slapped my face. Help?

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That's the end of it. If she slaps you, back off, even if you're not sure why she did it.

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Tips

Try to look at her a lot. If she catches you, don't glance away. Smile your best, and hopefully, she will smile back.

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Don't be nervous when you talk to her!

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Don't be pushy - wait until she is ready.

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Warnings

Don't stare at her all day or she'll think you're weird.

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If you wait too long, there is a chance she will only think of you as a friend. It may hurt one or both of you, but you'll get over it.

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Never play hard to get. She might think you've lost interest.

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Never say hurtful things. No girl likes that at all.

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