This article was co-authored by Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA. Julia Lyubchenko is an Adult Counselor and a Hypnotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Julia opened her practice in 2012, Therapy Under Hypnosis, specializing in resolving emotional and behavioral problems. She has a Certificate in Clinical Hypnosis from the Bosurgi Method School and is certified in Psychodynamic Psychotherapy and Hypnotherapy. She earned an MA in Counseling Psychology and Marriage and Family Therapy from Alliant International University and an MSc in Developmental and Child Psychology from Moscow State University.
There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Hypnosis is not magic. It is a form of sustained, focused concentration in which you become unaware of your surrounding as you focus your mind on other things.[1] Far from being akin to sleep, hypnosis brings about a hyper-aware state. With the Best Me technique of self-hypnosis, you will focus on creating virtual experiences that help you to improve self-confidence, increase incentives to attain goals, and deal with anxiety or trauma.
Steps
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Choose a time when you are not too sleepy. The goal is to withdraw from the world so that you can focus on the visualizing succeeding your goals. If you're too tired, you might just nod off instead.
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Eat a light meal 1-2 hours beforehand. It can be hard to focus your mind if you are either hungry or too full. Eat enough to give you energy for meditation, but not so much that you are overfull.[2]Advertisement
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Find a quiet place to practice the Best Me Technique. You want to find a space where no interruptions or sudden noises will pull you back to the world around you. A small, uncluttered space in your home is ideal.[3]
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Make sure you will not be interrupted. Turn off your cell phone or pager. If you have a land-line, turn off the ringer. Ask your family not to interrupt you during your session.
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Adopt a comfortable position. Sitting is best, as lying down may cause you to fall asleep. To best enter a state of hypnosis:[4]
- Choose a comfortable position for your legs. A classic meditative position is to cross your legs, but you may prefer to kneel, lay your legs out straight, or sit in a chair. Just be sure it is a position you can hold comfortably.
- Keep your back straight. A straight back will help you to breathe deeply. Sit in a chair if you find it difficult to keep your back straight without one.
- Place your hands where they will not distract you. You can place your hands on your legs or put them together in a praying position, whichever works best for you.
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Breath steadily and deeply. As you prepare to employ the Best Me technique, close your eyes and take a moment to simply breathe slowly in and out. Focus on your breathing and nothing else. This will help to clear you mind and prepare you to effectively enter a state of heightened concentration.[5]
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Go through the steps of the Best Me technique. Each letter in "Best Me" corresponds to a step. It does not matter what order you do the steps in (the order below is BESTME), or what words you use. It is important however, that you include all the steps to ensure that you immerse every aspect of yourself in the imagined experience.[6]
- B - Belief system
- E - Emotions
- S - Sensations and physical experiences
- T - Thoughts and images
- M - Motives
- E - Expectations
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Choose your safe place (your "belief system"). Think of a real or imagined place where you feel safe, calm, and happy.[7] You can choose any place you like; there is no "wrong" place. It is, however, best to stick with a place once you choose it, as this makes reaching a relaxed state easier.[8] Common safe places include:
- A beach
- A sunny park
- A spot you visited on vacation
- Your favorite room in your house, past or present
- A place you've seen in a picture
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Imagine yourself in your safe place. This is the sensation and physical experiences part of the process. Use all of your senses, not just sight. As you imagine each detail of this safe place, let its calmness relax you.[9] For example, if your safe place were a beach at sunset, you would concentrate on:
- The colors – the red and golds of the sunset, the blue of the water
- The sounds – the crash of the surf and call of the gulls
- The sensations – the wind on your skin and the warm sand beneath you
- Smells – the pure sea air with a hint of saltiness
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Let the peacefulness of your safe place drive out negative emotions.[10] Absorb the peace around you. Feel yourself becoming calm, relaxed. Tell yourself: "I am calm. At peace."
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Allow the calm of the space to drive away all thought. Thoughts will inevitably flit through your mind at first. Don't fight them. Rather, gently return your focus to your safe space. You are sinking into it and shutting down. Sinking down and shutting down. Sinking down and shutting down.[11]
- If you have difficulty pushing away a negative thought, imagine putting the image on a TV screen, then use a remote control to put it on mute, to make it black and white, and to turn it off.
- You can also imagine putting the image in a drawer and closing the drawer.[12] In fact, get rid of it in any way you want. Just don’t set it on fire or blow it up because it’s supposed to be relaxing.
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Enjoy the peacefulness. You have no other motives, no desire to be anywhere else, to do anything else. All you want is to exist free in this place. To dream, to drift on and on, until you are completely in your own personal paradise.[13]
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Expect to sink deeply into your safe space. Don't worry about whether you will achieve hypnosis. Expect to. Hypnosis is nothing but focus. Focus on your safe space. Be there. As you enter it completely, you are in hypnosis. As the technique's creator writes, "The deeper you go, the deeper you're able to go, and the deeper you go, the deeper you want to go, and the more enjoyable the experience becomes."[14]
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Repeat these steps as many times as necessary. Return to the sensations of your safe space. Feel the peacefulness. Let thoughts fade. Enjoy the space as you sink deeper and deeper, until you are completely in your safe space.[15]
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Associate your safe place with a word. Once you have created and immersed yourself in your safe place, consider giving it a name. You can then use this name, even when not in hypnosis, to bring feelings of calm and relaxation.
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Conclude your session or move on to pre-experiencing or re-experiencing. If you are still mastering self-hypnosis, or if your goal was simply to relax and calm yourself, you can now emerge from your session. Or, you can move on to pre-experiencing a goal in order to increase confidence and incentive, or to re-experiencing past emotions in order to build confidence and reduce anxiety.
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Choose a goal. Focus on one goal per session. Pick a goal that is important to you and which you are anxious about achieving. Imagining yourself accomplishing the goal and receiving the ensuing rewards can help to build confidence and provide the incentive to reach your goal.[16] The Best Me technique can enhance performance geared towards many goals, including:
- Academics
- Singing
- Dancing
- Athletics / getting in shape
- Creative writing
- Getting in shape
- Starting your business / achieving a work goal
- Losing weight or quitting smoking
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Recreate the successful accomplishment of your goal using the Best Me steps. From within your safe place, you will now imagine in detail the accomplishment of your goal. The more detailed your scenario, and the more steps it involves, the better.[17]
- Increase the incentive value of your recreation by imagining further rewards associated with your goal, like the vacation you will take afterwards.
- Consider pre-experiencing the rewards of sub-goals as well. For instance, if quitting smoking, you might imagine the dinner you will treat yourself to after one week, or a conversation where you proudly tell a friend you have not smoked for a month.
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Imagine yourself having accomplished your goal. Think of yourself receiving a raise or your diploma, or the rewards for whatever you goal is. Recreate the moment as fully as possible, just as you did in creating your safe place. See it, hear, it, smell it, feel it. Think of precisely what you will do and say; of what people around you will do and say.
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Feel the satisfaction and pride of achieving your goal. Think of the admiring looks from friends and relatives. Think of what they will say to you. Imagine how proud and happy you will feel. Allow yourself to fully experience these emotions.[18]
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Think of nothing else. If other thoughts intrude, gently push your attention back to the scene you are acting out. Experience the accomplishment of your goals so intensely that it feels as if you are willing it into existence.[19]
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Expect to succeed. Experiencing the accomplishment of your goal and the attendant emotions, even if only in your mind, will create powerful memories that help you believe you are headed towards certain success. This will allow you to act confidently, expecting to succeed.[20]
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Conclude your session by counting to five. Think to yourself that you will gradually come back to the world around you by the time you reach five.
- One – Begin returning.
- Two – You are happy, confident.
- Three – Coming back more and more. Focus on yourself – your breathing and the feel of the floor or chair beneath you.
- Four – Almost back. Become aware of the sounds and sensations in the room where you are.
- Five – Open your eyes. You are back, feeling wonderful.
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Think of a moment when you felt confident and motivated. As with your safe space, be as specific as possible. Where were you? What were you doing? Who was with you?
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Recreate the moment using the Best Me technique. Start by imagining yourself in the past. What do you see? What do you hear, feel, smell? What were you doing? Saying? Visualize the moment so clearly that it feels as if you are willing it into existence.
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Experience the emotion. As you allow yourself to sink into the scene you have created, you will re-experience the emotion. Let yourself feel it again as you relive the moment.
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Push away negative thoughts. When other thoughts intrude, gently push them away and return to your scenario. If they persist, imagine putting them on a TV screen and clicking off the TV, or putting them in a drawer and shutting it.
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Believe you will succeed. Memories connected to strong feelings are very powerful. Reliving this memory with its attendant emotions of confidence and happiness will make you feel as if you are inevitably heading for success. Embrace this feeling. Expect to succeed. Act, think, and feel as if you cannot fail.
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Associate the good feeling with a word. Once you have recreated this experience, think of a word that describes it. Focus on that word while you recall the scene and the feelings it creates. In the future, you will be able to use this word to bring those feelings back when you need them.
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Count to five to conclude your session. You will gradually return to your normal state of consciousness by the time you reach five.
- One – Begin returning.
- Two – Focus on your emotions: happy, confident.
- Three – Focus on your breathing, the sensations of your body, the feel of the floor or chair beneath you.
- Four – Become aware of the room around you. The sounds and smells.
- Five – Open your eyes. You are back, feeling confident of success.
What Can You Use Self-Hypnosis For?
Expert Q&A
Tips
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In addition to the Best Me technique, you may want to consider seeking the services of a psychologist, counselor, or clinical social worker to help you sort out your goals, deal with anxiety, and develop confidence.[21]Thanks
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It is better to use as few words as possible as you follow the Best Me technique. The images, sensations, and feelings you experience are what are most important.Thanks
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You may not achieve the deep state of focus you are seeking the first time, or initially have success with pre-experiencing goals or re-experiencing emotions. Keep trying. Like any skill, the Best Me technique takes practice.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/two-minute-shrink/201004/hypnosis-underused-technique
- ↑ http://life.gaiam.com/article/how-position-your-body-meditation
- ↑ http://www.the-secret-of-mindpower-and-nlp.com/how-to-do-self-hypnosis.html
- ↑ http://life.gaiam.com/article/how-position-your-body-meditation
- ↑ http://www.the-secret-of-mindpower-and-nlp.com/how-to-do-self-hypnosis.html
- ↑ http://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-1-4684-3581-8?no-access=true
- ↑ Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA. Certified Hypnotherapist. Expert Interview. 29 April 2020.
- ↑ http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/treatment/visualization
- ↑ Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA. Certified Hypnotherapist. Expert Interview. 29 April 2020.
- ↑ Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA. Certified Hypnotherapist. Expert Interview. 29 April 2020.
- ↑ http://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-1-4684-3581-8?no-access=true
- ↑ Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA. Certified Hypnotherapist. Expert Interview. 29 April 2020.
- ↑ http://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-1-4684-3581-8?no-access=true
- ↑ http://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-1-4684-3581-8?no-access=true
- ↑ http://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-1-4684-3581-8?no-access=true
- ↑ http://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-1-4684-3581-8?no-access=true
- ↑ http://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-1-4684-3581-8?no-access=true
- ↑ http://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-1-4684-3581-8?no-access=true
- ↑ http://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-1-4684-3581-8?no-access=true
- ↑ http://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-1-4684-3581-8?no-access=true
- ↑ Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA. Certified Hypnotherapist. Expert Interview. 29 April 2020.
About This Article
To hypnotize yourself with the Best Me technique, pick a time of day when you're awake, and eat a light meal about 1-2 hours before. Then, find a quiet place to sit in a chair with your back straight and your feet on the ground, and begin breathing steadily and deeply. To use the Best Me system, think of a place where you feel calm and relaxed, and imagine it in as much detail as possible. Remind yourself to be calm and let your mind drift into a deep, thoughtless state. For tips on utilizing the steps of Best Me to realize goals and create confidence, read on!
Reader Success Stories
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"It's really helpful, the feeling that we can change our habits so easily is the greatest thing. I have been hypnotizing for a while now, and have lost 15 kg and doubled my score at academics. I have stopped wasting time channeling my energy to work hard."..." more