This article was co-authored by Stefanie Safran. Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
There are 10 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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Impressing a girl when you meet her isn't the easiest thing in the world, but it can be done. Start by making yourself as impressive as you can with a nice outfit and practicing what you'll say. When you meet the girl, introduce yourself with confidence. Confidence always makes a good first impression. Then, get the conversation going by asking her about herself. If you can get her talking, you're likely to impress her.
Steps
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Practice what you'll say ahead of time. You don't know when you'll meet a girl you want to impress so start practicing what you want to say now! Figure out how you'll introduce yourself if someone else doesn't do it. Also, think of a few questions you might like to ask her. Then, take some time to practice saying them in front of the mirror. Use a calm, confident voice.[1]
- For example, you might say, "Hi, I'd like to introduce myself. My name's Jessie. What's yours?"
- If the meeting is planned, try to tailor what you'll say to the person. For instance, you might say, "Hi, I'm Jessie. You must be Rebecca. I've heard so many good things about you!."
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Pick a snazzy outfit that makes you feel good. You don't have to dress up in a suit or a fancy dress to impress a girl. You should pick something you feel comfortable in, as that will make you more confident. However, whatever you choose should be clean and not too worn out. Also, try to pick something that fits you well; it shouldn't hang off of you nor should it be so tight it clings to you uncomfortably.[2]
- For instance, maybe skip the ratty jeans and the t-shirt with 3 holes in it.
- Of course, you never know when you're going to meet a girl you want to impress. The key is to always dress to impress!
- If you'd like to wear makeup or accessories, go for it! Try not to go overboard, but keep it simple and natural-looking. As far as accessories, aim for 2-3 of your favorite pieces. Any more than that, and it may come as too much.
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Put good hygiene to use. Make sure you're clean and smell nice. A shower ahead of time is always a safe bet! Also, if you have facial hair, make sure it's neatly trimmed and combed into shape. Don't forget to brush your teeth and floss for a nice smile.[3]
- Brush and style your hair so that it looks neat.
- If you want to wear perfume or cologne, that's fine. However, keep it to a small spritz on your wrist or neck. If you spray too much, you can overwhelm the person you're meeting with the scent. Plus, some people are allergic to scents!
- Looks aren't everything, but putting your best foot forward is always a good idea. Women notice when you make an effort.[4]
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Introduce yourself to the girl. If you haven't been introduced already, it's time to do it yourself. Make eye contact with her and then walk over. Hold out your hand for a handshake if it seems right in the situation and say your introduction.[5]
- Remember what you'd plan to say: "Hi, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Jessie. What's your name?"
- If someone else introduces you, try "Hi, it's very nice to meet you, Rebecca."
- When shaking someone's hand, make sure to do it firmly with confidence. Grasp her hand with a firm grip and pump it up and down a few times before letting go.
- If she doesn't seem interested in talking, be willing to walk away. If she's not responding to you, looking elsewhere, or acting uninterested, politely bow out of the conversation.
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Be confident and show it in your posture. Confidence is an attractive quality, and when you show you're confident, you're more likely to impress and succeed with a girl. Stand up straight and even puff your chest out a little bit. Even if you're not feeling it, fake it. Just faking it will make you feel more confident![6]
- Try to pump yourself up as needed. Tell yourself you're an awesome person that anyone would like to get to know! Remind yourself that even if this interaction doesn't work out, you'll have other chances with girls later.
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Slow down when you speak to show you're self-assured. If you rush through your words, your nervousness will show. Instead, try to say your words slowly and carefully so that you're easy to understand.[7]
- However, don't go overboard. You don't want to speak so slowly she thinks there's something wrong with you. Just speak at a speed where you can be easily understood.
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Make eye contact and smile while you're meeting her. Flashing a smile is a great way to show that you're interested in talking to her. Plus, when you look at her eyes while talking, you show that you're engaged and you care about what she has to say.
- However, eye contact should be natural. That is, don't stare at her without blinking for 5 minutes straight. Just make sure to connect with her eyes from time to time when you're speaking to her.
- Both of these also display confidence.
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Break the ice with some questions about what's going on around you. Look around you and draw her in by asking questions about that. If you're in a coffee shop, you could ask questions about the kind of coffee she likes or how often she visits this particular shop, for instance.
- You could also talk about a painting you see on the wall, the unseasonable weather, or the music that's playing.
- You might say, "So, are you a coffee fiend like me or more of a tea aficionado? I can't get moving in the morning without a few shots of espresso."
- Be sure to listen to the answers she gives you. People notice when somebody asks them questions but don't actually care about what's said afterwards.[8]
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Ask her questions about herself. One way to make yourself more likable is to get her talking about herself. People like talking about themselves, so when you are able to turn the conversation on her, you're already starting to make a good first impression.
- For example, you could ask her something simple, such as "What brings you here today?" or "What do you do for a living?"
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Listen closely to what she's saying. Don't just ask her questions and wait for your turn to speak. Hear what she's saying. Nod along to let her know you're listening and wait until she completely finishes her thought before trying to speak. When you do speak, say something that is a response to something she said. That shows you're thoughtful and that you actually heard her.[9]
- For example, if she's talking about her job working at a call center, you might say, "That sounds like a tough position. How do you deal with all those angry customers all day long?"
- If you don't quite catch what she said, ask for more information!
- Remember to keep smiling from time to time and making eye contact while talking to her.
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Answer questions honestly but turn the conversation back her way. She'll probably want to know more about you, and if she asks you something about yourself, try to answer in a truthful and straightforward way. However, don't take over and talk about yourself for 30 minutes. Work on getting her to talk more about herself again. She'll think that you're a great conversationalist.[10]
- For instance, she may ask you what your passions are. You could say, "I love music. I'm really into jazz, and I'm trying to learn the guitar. It's been tough, but I'm enjoying it. What kind of music are you passionate about?"
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End on a positive note and ask for contact information. If the conversation is going really well, you could ask her if she wants to go get a cup of coffee. If she says she can't, say thanks anyway and ask if she'd like to exchange phone numbers. That way, you can contact her again later.[11]
- Watch her body language and get a sense of how she feels through the conversation. If she turns towards you, has her arms and legs uncrossed, and touches you on the arm occasionally, those are good signs. Also, if she seems really engaged in the conversation and enthusiastically answers your questions and asks some in return, it's likely going well.
- For example, you might say, "Hey, I'm really enjoying talking to you. Would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me around the corner? If now's not a good time, how about another day? I can give you my phone number."
- If she gives you her number and you ask her on a date later, make sure to have specific suggestions for when to meet and what to do.[12]
Attract Girls and Win Their Hearts with this Expert Series
Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat do girls like on a first date?Stefanie SafranStefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
Dating Coach & MatchmakerWomen like when their date makes an effort to look like they're going somewhere special, rather than just going out with their buddies. You also want to make sure that you're actively listening and maintaining eye contact with the woman. For instance, don't be sitting and texting whenever there's a pause in the conversation.
Video
Tips
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/first-impressions
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/fashion-psychology/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-truisms-wellness/201607/the-powerful-psychology-behind-cleanliness
- ↑ Stefanie Safran. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/shy-tips.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201707/are-you-dating-confident
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/gradpsych/2012/09/first-impression
- ↑ Stefanie Safran. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-well/201107/simple-keys-effective-communication?collection=107271
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/high-octane-women/201209/the-art-and-value-good-listening?collection=107271
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier
- ↑ Stefanie Safran. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.
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