Is My Friend Entitled?

Take this quiz to see if your friend is selfish.

Friends can get on our nerves, and everyone’s a little selfish sometimes. But is your friend actually being entitled, or is it not that deep? We're here to help you decide.

Answer these questions about your friend and your relationship with them, and we'll give you an unbiased perspective on their behavior.

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Questions Overview

1. Does your friend ever celebrate with you when something good happens to you?
  1. Yes, all the time!
  2. Sometimes, but not always.
  3. Not usually.
  4. Never.
2. Would you say your friend is usually grateful when you do something nice for them?
  1. Yes, usually. They might even return the favor.
  2. Only sometimes.
  3. Never. They sort of take it for granted.
3. Does your friend usually make all of the decisions (like where you’ll eat or what you’ll do) when you’re together?
  1. Yes, but I like it that way, or I don't mind.
  2. Yes, and it annoys me.
  3. Not really. We're pretty equal there.
  4. Never. I'm usually the one taking the lead.
4. Do you feel like your friend really listens to you when you talk?
  1. Yes. They always pay attention to what I say.
  2. They usually pay attention.
  3. They don't usually pay attention.
  4. They never pay attention.
5. Does it feel like your friend uses you or takes advantage of you?
  1. Yes, it always feels like that.
  2. It sometimes feels like I'm being used.
  3. It never feels like I'm being used.
6. How does your friend usually react when they don't get their way?
  1. They pout or complain.
  2. They try to compromise.
  3. They shrug it off and move on.
7. How does your friend usually act after they make a mistake?
  1. They own up to it and try to make it better.
  2. They apologize, but that's about it.
  3. They pretend it didn't happen.
  4. They blame it on other people.
8. Does your friend usually share things with you, like food?
  1. Yes, they share even when I don't ask.
  2. Yes, they share when I ask.
  3. They sometimes share.
  4. They never share.
9. Have you ever heard your friend talk bad about someone behind their back?
  1. Yes, all the time.
  2. Yes, sometimes.
  3. Only when that person deserves it.
  4. Not really.
10. How often does your friend do nice things for you or other people?
  1. Never.
  2. Rarely
  3. Sometimes
  4. All the time.
11. When they do something nice for you, how do they act?
  1. They try to get me to return the favor.
  2. They pretend like it's no big deal.
  3. They hold it over my head and use it to influence me.
  4. They don't really do nice things for me.
12. Have you ever noticed your friend lying?
  1. Yes, many times.
  2. Yes, once or twice.
  3. No.
  4. I don't know, or I don't remember.

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Dealing with Entitled People

Some people just think they’re better or more important than the people around them. They can be exhausting to spend time with, but luckily, you don’t have to just roll over and put up with it. Here are ways to protect yourself from someone who’s a little too entitled:

Bring it up gently.
You don’t have to be silent! If someone around you is being entitled, say something. Focus your comment on the current issue, not on their personality. Say something like, “I think we should let someone else say something,” or, “Let’s try to think of a way to make things more equal.” That way, you check their behavior without attacking them personally.

Don’t take it personally.
Remember, when you’re dealing with a self-entitled person, it’s not about you. It’s about them, of course! Don’t let them make you feel like you’re not enough, or like you don’t matter. That’s not true at all. The problem is just that they think they matter more than other people.

Set boundaries.
If your friend tends to have consistent problems, let them know that you won’t tolerate that specific behavior. For example, if they always expect you to pay for food, say, “I’m happy to eat with you, but I don’t have money for both of us. Can you pay for yourself? Or maybe we can do something else.” That way, you set a standard, and they know what to expect.

Distance yourself from them.
If your friend doesn’t change their behavior, even after you say something, it might be time to consider spending less time around them, especially if they’re making you unhappy. If they ask you why, consider telling them frankly. Say, “I have trouble spending time with you. I don’t really feel valued.” Remember, if nobody tells them, they’ll just keep acting that way.

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