How to Let Someone Know You Like Them

Let your crush know how you feel (without embarrassing yourself)

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey

Last Updated: December 29, 2023 References

Telling someone that you like them can be a terrifying idea, but there are often ways you can clue that person in without specifically saying it. Overall, you need to be especially attentive to the person in question. Mixing in the right words and some appropriate body language can further help you seal the deal.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Be Attentive

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Remember things. If you want to show that you are interested in someone, you need to show that person that you are interested in the things they say. Even minor details, like the name of a pet or a childhood phobia, should be recalled and dropped into conversation from time to time.
- If you have a hard time dropping details like this into conversation naturally, remember habits and demonstrate your recollection by appealing to these habits. For instance, if your crush orders the same drink without fail, order it for them before your crush shows up.^{[1]
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- You should also remember the obvious things: birthdays, things you spoke about in your last conversation, and so on.
When you are with the apple of your eye, focus solely on that person and that person alone. Do not text other people or look around for other friends. Make sure that your full attention is on your crush.

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Work your way into the other person's life. Find excuses to meet your crush's friends or close relatives. These are the people they love. If you want to be among their ranks, you will need to demonstrate an interest in them first.
- Another important way to work your way into that person's life is to open up as many channels of communication as possible. Get a phone number and call or text occasionally. You should never become a pest about it, but the occasional “good morning,” “good night,” or “what are you up to?” text will let that special someone know that they're on your mind.
- Likewise, you should also casually invite this person into your own life. Introduce them to your friends. If your family is doing something fun that your crush might enjoy, consider extending an invitation.
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Give special treatment. You can be as kind as possible to this person, but it still won't be enough to convey your interest if you are naturally the same way to everyone else. You do not need to be nasty to other people, but you should definitely treat this person with more care and attention than you give to others. More importantly, make it obvious to them that this is the case.
- For instance, if you notice that your crush's plate or glass is empty, offer to fill it.
- Go out of your way to perform other random acts of kindness for the person you favor. Give your crush a greeting card or a favorite candy bar if you know that they're having a rough day.
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Make time for this person. No matter how busy you are, if you want to let your crush know that you are interested, you need to make it a point to hang out from time to time.^{[2]
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Joshua Pompey
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Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- Similarly, you should purposefully seek them out when you are at a group event, like a party. Make sure to convey your desire to spend time with this person even when in the midst of a crowd of others.
- Text or email back as soon as you get this person's messages, even if you do not do that with other people.
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Contact them "just because." If you stumble across something that makes you think of the other person, send an email or text to tell them about it. By showing that you think of your crush even when they're not around, you are demonstrating just how often that person is on your mind.
- Similarly, if you go a few days without seeing this person, send a quick “I miss you” message. Wait for days or events when you might usually see them, though—like a party they were invited to and couldn't attend.

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Use Body Language

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1
Make eye contact.^{[3]
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Research source} It might sound trite to say that eyes are windows to the soul, but in a lot of ways, that seems to be true. Locking eyes for three seconds can speak volumes, especially if you conclude by slowly dragging your eyes away.
- Eye contact has even greater impact if you get caught staring at person you are interested in. Make sure that when you get caught, however, you quickly look away. In doing so, you let them know that you were just caught in the act and not merely staring into space.
- One thing to avoid doing, of course, is staring the other person down. Eye contact conveys a certain level of intimacy and flirtatiousness when done right. When overdone, though, you can quickly intimidate someone and ruin your chances for good.
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Smile. When you greet the person of your affection, smile. Smile while talking to them. Smile when you part ways. There is something warm and friendly about a smile, and wielding one whenever your crush is around will help convey just how happy you are about the interaction you have.
- Another great thing about a smile is that it really demonstrates the excitement you feel whenever you find yourself around this person. A smile that flashes your pearly whites and makes your eyes sparkle will leave very little room for doubt in the other person's mind.
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Look your best. You do not need to dress up every time you see your crush, but as a general rule, put in a minimum amount of effort to look good. Showing that you care about how you look in front of this person will hint at the fact that you have a reason to care about such things.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- On a similar note, if your crush specifically said that a particular piece of jewelry or garment looked nice on you, wear it frequently. In doing so, you can show that you really value how that person views you.
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Touch your crush. Find excuses to make brief, subtle touches. A casual touch on the arm or knee while you talk can work wonders. Even these seemingly innocent forms of touch convey a sense of intimacy, and by initiating them, you are telling the other person that you want to be close.
- Every time you touch this person, you should use a very gentle, light touch. A hearty pat on the back can be a friendly sign, but it does not convey much romantic interest.
- If possible, move in for a hug when you greet or say goodbye, as well. This form of physical contact is often reserved for people who are close, so it could help bridge the gap between you both.
- If you do hug when you say goodbye, make sure that your hug lingers. Do not let go immediately; instead, let your hands linger before hesitantly sliding them away. This move will show that you are reluctant to say goodbye.^{[5]
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Touch yourself. More precisely, touch areas of the body that seem innocent while also hinting at intimacy. Touch your face or hair, or slowly stroke your own arm a bit. Use your tongue to moisten your lips every now and then. By touching yourself in ways like these, you can hint to the other person that you really wish they were touching you, instead.
- You need to make sure that you do not seem too suggestive or creepy when you do this, though. Act like your self-touching is subconscious and casual, rather than making it obvious that it is entirely for their benefit. One of the worst things you can do is to have your hands all over yourself while staring the other person down with a hungry look in your eyes.

Part 3

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Say the Right Things

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1
Ask questions. Another great way to demonstrate how interested in you are in someone is to demonstrate an active interest in learning more about that person. Ask anything you can think of as long as you avoid questions that might make them uncomfortable.
- Ask your crush how their day was. Ask about family, friends, dreams, interests—there are a wide range of topics you can discuss.
- If a certain topic makes them obviously uncomfortable, drop it. It may have been an innocent question at first, and most people will forgive you for accidentally stumbling onto one of their landmines. If you persistently drag that topic up afterward, though, you can make yourself into a nuisance and a bully quickly.
This can be a bit tricky since there is a fine line between teasing gently and teasing mercilessly, but if you pull it off, it can have a lot of impact. Playfully tease your crush about unimportant things, like being late or having bed hair. Never tease about points of insecurity, though.
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Drop hints. You may not want to tell this person how you feel in direct terms, but you should drop some pretty obvious hints from time to time to show that you really do like being around them.
- Tell them flat out that you enjoyed the time you spent together. Try something simple like, "I had a great time talking with you tonight. We should do it again soon." This might seem fairly blunt, but unless you spit it out, the other party might find ways of doubting your reactions. Leave no room for such doubts.^{[6]
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- Master the art of casual compliments. Let the object of your affections know how stunning they look today or sigh in amazement when they solve a difficult problem. Show how much they impress you.
This can be difficult, of course, since inside jokes are usually things that happen naturally. Once you have something that counts, though, bring it up frequently. Doing so shows just how much you value that bit of connection between the two of you.
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Say the other person's name. There is something intrinsically appealing about hearing your own name being called, and the other person is likely to appreciate it if you make an effort to say their name several times during your conversations.
- You should also consider coming up with a nickname. Nicknames express a special sort of connection between two people, especially if you use a nickname that no one else uses with that person. Once you settle on a nickname, make sure to actually use it.
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Ask for their opinion. Make a habit of turning to this person for advice or helpful opinions whenever you have a choice to make. By asking for advice, you can demonstrate that you are interested in what this person thinks.
- Ask for advice on everything from movie recommendations to solving disputes you have at work or with other friends. You should balance both serious and lighthearted matters.

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Question

Should I let someone know I like them?

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey

Relationship Expert

Expert Answer

If your instincts are that they like you back or you have some other reason to believe that they're into you, absolutely. If you're starting to like a friend and it's unclear if they like you, it can be pretty tricky. It's probably not a good idea to tell a friend you love them out of nowhere. If you can't get past your feelings, you may need to create some space until those feelings dissipate or go away.

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Question

How do you hint to someone that you like them?

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

Connell Barrett

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

If you don’t want to come out and say it directly, try doing things like inviting them to spend time with you, giving them sincere compliments, or doing nice things for them (like helping them with a project or chore, or buying them a small treat). But remember, the best way to make sure they know how you feel is to just come out and say it!

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Question

How do you know if your crush likes you?

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

Connell Barrett

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

The only way to know for sure is to ask them. You might give them a compliment, tell her she has great style, or just ask her out directly. This way, you'll know for sure how they feel.

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