How to Make Great Love

Co-authored by Nicole Moore

Last Updated: December 11, 2024 Fact Checked

The art of making love is perhaps one of the most well-known, yet obscure practices around the world. While many claim that there is no definite set of instructions for making great love because everyone is different, there are some steps you can take to pave the way to the path of great love for yourself and to ensure that you have someone you may enjoy making great love to.

Steps

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1
Make sure you are comfortable with your partner. Find a partner you are attracted to and trust. When you are comfortable with someone you trust fully, making love will be that much better.
2
Give and get consent. Before getting into any sexual activity, your partner(s) must consent enthusiastically and not under any influences. Consent is when someone happily agrees to doing something, usually sexual activity. Without consent before performing sexual acts, or forcing someone into sex, this is considered rape, or sexual assault at the least. Explain what acts you would like to do with your partner, and make sure they agree. If they decline, do not pressure them--badgering someone into sex a bad move. ^{[1]
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- Likewise, don't be pressured to participate in any sexual activity if you're not comfortable doing so. If someone keeps pressuring you to have sex, don't give in. Instead, tell someone else or walk away.
- What is consent: An enthusiastic "yes" or "sure".
- What is not consent: Silence, a shrug, a "no," or "maybe," "I guess," or anything that isn't enthusiastic. If you aren't sure it's consent, it probably isn't.
Did You Know? No one can give consent under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or when they are passed out. Consent should always be be FRIES; which stands for Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthustiastic, and Specific. Consent is more than just saying yes or no to a sex act--read more about consent at Planned Parenthood: Consent

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Imagine you are in a dangerous world where everything is unknown to you. You must move slowly and carefully, paying attention to your every step. Wherever you touch your partner, pay attention to their response. Take 15-20 minutes of foreplay to get yourselves aroused and comfortable.^{[2]
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4
Know your partner's body. Everybody has general spots which are sensitive, but some people have different preferences to others. You have to spend time with your partner if you want to get to know them.
- In addition to taking your time, which is the best way to make great love, you need to make sure that you are energetic and well groomed.
5
Communicate with your partner. Ask questions, listen to their answers, pay attention to their body language, especially their involuntary responses. Ask them what they like, where they don't like being touched, specific preferences they have, or ways they are comfortable having sex. For example, you could ask your partner, "How do you feel about being kissed on your neck? Do you like it, or does it make you feel uncomfortable?" Talk about sexual experiences and acts before and after sex.^{[3]
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- You could also ask ways they would feel more comfortable during sex (i.e, if they don't want you to see their chest during sex, they might choose to wear a t-shirt). Everyone is different, everyone's body is different, and everyone has different preferences.
Most people like to please and be pleased when it comes to making love. Try taking some "solo" time to find out what you like. Try touching yourself in different ways or areas, such as running your hand down your chest, for example. It might take some time to figure yourself out, but it will help you show your partner what you like later on.^{[4]
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Warnings

A common mistake people make is rushing in to things by going right to the known spots on people. That is like teleporting yourself to your destination without ever paying attention to the journey. The journey counts! Do not underestimate the power of exploration and taking your time to explore.

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