How to Make Sex Last Longer

Co-authored by Jacqueline Hellyer and Jennifer Mueller, JD

Last Updated: September 17, 2024 Fact Checked

Reaching climax faster than your partner is common, so don’t get down on yourself. Fortunately, most people who climax quickly can learn how to last longer. Exercises and lifestyle changes can help improve control, and there are lots of climax-delaying techniques you could try during sex. Climax control products and medications could also be worth a shot. If your partner finishes too soon, try to approach the topic as a team. Avoid placing blame, and let them know that you want to work together to build physical and emotional intimacy.

For personalized advice, take our Erectile Dysfunction Quiz to find out if you have ED and get access to quick and easy treatment options.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Making Lifestyle Changes

Download Article

1
Relax and encourage yourself. Dealing with anxiety or self-doubt can be a major mood killer, so try to be optimistic. Studies have shown that anxiety can interfere with sexual desire, arousal, and orgasm. Approaching sex with confidence, self-respect, and a positive attitude can make all the difference for both you and your partner.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts about your performance, think to yourself something like, “Sam, finishing fast is common and you shouldn’t get down on yourself. You can deal with this!”
- Referring to yourself by name can be more effective when practicing positive self-talk.^{[2]
  X
  Research source}
- Reader Poll: We asked 1562 wikiHow readers what they would consider to be a genuine orgasm, and 57% said involuntary muscle contractions. [Take Poll]
2
Work on lasting longer during masturbation. Through the process of edging yourself, you can gain greater control over ejaculation and how quickly you reach climax. Start by masturbating without lube and stop as soon as you start to feel close to ejaculation. Wait for the sensations to decrease, then start masturbating again.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- You might also try masturbating an hour or two before you have sex to help delay your climax.^{[4]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  
  National Health Service (UK)
  Public healthcare system of the UK
  
  Go to source}
Did You Know? It’s more than possible to learn how to control ejaculation. If you make an effort, you’ll figure it out in no time.

Advertisement
3
Start doing pelvic floor exercises. Exercising the muscles that control ejaculation can help you last longer. To identify these muscles, stop urination midstream and tighten the muscles that prevent passing gas. To exercise them, tighten them for 3 seconds, then relax for 3 seconds. Repeat this cycle 5 to 10 times.^{[5]
X
Trustworthy Source

Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals

Go to source}
- It might be easier at first to exercise while lying down or seated, but try to do them standing, too. As you strengthen the muscles, aim for 3 sets of 10 repetitions per day.
- Try to only tighten those muscles that help control urination and passing gas. Don’t just flex your buttocks or thighs.
- Breathe normally as you exercise and avoid holding your breath.
Cut down on alcohol and recreational drugs. Alcohol and recreational drugs can cause premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and other performance issues. Avoid drugs and alcohol before sex and try to cut down your overall use.^{[6]
X
Trustworthy Source

National Health Service (UK)
Public healthcare system of the UK

Go to source}
5
Resolve any issues in your relationship. If you and your partner are having any problems, they might be causing you to have performance issues. If you and your partner can come up with a way to resolve these issues together, you'll likely find that your sex life improves and you're able to make sex last longer.^{[7]
X
Trustworthy Source

National Health Service (UK)
Public healthcare system of the UK

Go to source}
- You might also consider going to couples therapy if you need help identifying and resolving issues in your relationship.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Trying Techniques During Sex

Download Article

Give your partner some attention without stimulating yourself or letting them touch your sensitive parts. That way, you’ll sync up your levels of excitement and climax closer to the same time.^{[8]
X
Trustworthy Source

National Health Service (UK)
Public healthcare system of the UK

Go to source}
Taking your time can help you last longer, so try to prioritize the journey over the destination. Approach sex like a sensual dance instead of just a series of rapid movements.^{[9]
X
Trustworthy Source

HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

Go to source}
3
Try new positions. Changing positions can help you refocus your attention and reset your excitement level. Further, trying new positions can teach your body to get out of its normal routine.^{[10]
X
Trustworthy Source

National Health Service (UK)
Public healthcare system of the UK

Go to source}
- If you have sex with your partner on top, they can pull away when they sense that you are close to help you last longer.
- If there's one position that always seems to do the trick for you, save it for last.
4
Take slow, deep breaths when you feel close. Slowing your breathing as you feel close to climaxing can help shut down the orgasm reflex. Take a slow, deep breath and expand your belly as you inhale. Hold your breath for 2 or 3 seconds, then exhale slowly.^{[11]
X
Trustworthy Source

National Health Service (UK)
Public healthcare system of the UK

Go to source}
- Keep breathing slowly until you no longer feel close to climaxing.
5
Think of something else for a moment. When you feel close, try to distract yourself by thinking about something nonsexual, like work, sports, a TV show, or school. Temporarily diverting your attention can help you relax and slow down.^{[12]
X
Trustworthy Source

National Health Service (UK)
Public healthcare system of the UK

Go to source}
- Try not to spend the entire time thinking about something else. You still want to be present and stay focused on pleasing your partner.
6
Try taking breaks. The stop-and-start method involves withdrawing from your partner when you feel close. Take a break for about 30 seconds, then start having sex again. Repeat the stopping and starting technique until you and your partner are both ready to climax.^{[13]
X
Trustworthy Source

MedlinePlus
Collection of medical information sourced from the US National Library of Medicine

Go to source}
- You can also take deep breaths or think about something else when you take a break.
7
Give the squeeze method a shot. To use the squeeze technique, withdraw from your partner when you feel close. You (or your partner) then gently squeeze the part of the penis where the underside of the head meets the shaft. Squeeze for a few seconds, then wait about 30 seconds before starting to have sex again.^{[14]
X
Trustworthy Source

MedlinePlus
Collection of medical information sourced from the US National Library of Medicine

Go to source}
- Don’t squeeze too hard, and don’t use the technique if it causes pain or discomfort.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Using Products or Medications

Download Article

1
Wear a thicker condom. Check your local drugstore for climax control condoms. They’re thicker, and some brands contain a numbing agent that helps temporarily reduce sensitivity.^{[15]
X
Trustworthy Source

PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health

Go to source}
- You might also wear 2 condoms to further reduce sensitivity.
2
Use a desensitizing lubricant. You can find topical numbing agents online or at your local drugstore. They’re available as creams, sprays, and wipes, and are usually applied 10 to 15 minutes before sex.^{[16]
X
Trustworthy Source

PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health

Go to source}
- Wear a condom when using a topical numbing agent to prevent reducing your partner’s sensitivity.
3
Ask your healthcare provider about prescription medications. If you haven’t had any luck with other solutions, ask your doctor or pharmacist if an oral medication could be effective. Taking a low-dose SSRI a few hours before sex could help delay orgasm.^{[17]
X
Trustworthy Source

PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health

Go to source}
- If you experience both erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation, prescription medications for ED could be effective for both issues.^{[18]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  
  Cleveland Clinic
  Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
  
  Go to source}

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Helping Your Partner Last Longer

Download Article

1
Approach the subject as a team. Sexual performance can be a sensitive subject. Bring up the topic by telling your partner that you value them and the intimacy you share. Let them know that you don't see it as something they have to fix on their own. Rather, tell them that you want to work on your sex life as a team.^{[19]
X
Trustworthy Source

Harvard Medical School
Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public

Go to source}
- You could say, “This isn’t just on you—we should work together to make our sex life the best it can be. Plus, I’m excited to work on pleasing each other as much as possible!”
2
Reassure your partner that you support them. Try to be optimistic and constructive instead of making your partner feel like there's something wrong with them. Let them know that you understand these problems don't mean that your partner is no longer interested in you.^{[20]
X
Trustworthy Source

Harvard Medical School
Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public

Go to source}
- Say something like, “I care about you and want you to know I’m not judging you in any way. I know we can work together to build our physical and emotional intimacy.”
3
Be open and patient about trying out new techniques. Ask your partner what they think might work. Do your best to keep the conversation honest but low-pressure. Have patience, try out new techniques, and see what works best for you and your partner.^{[21]
X
Trustworthy Source

Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals

Go to source}
- Tell them, “This is a process that might take some time, and that’s totally normal. Let’s just try out some new tricks and see what works.”
- Don't forget that you can also use things other than sex to show your partner how you feel about them, such as back rubs, kissing, or holding hands.
Emily Morse, Author & Sex Therapist

Prioritize finding out what works for you. "The best thing you can do for your sexual confidence is taking the time to learn what feels good for your body."
4
Consider going to couples therapy. Performance issues can put a strain on your relationship. While it's helpful to approach the situation as a team, be honest about all of your feelings, including frustration. Couples counseling could help you and your partner sort out complex emotions and explore issues that might be interfering with intimacy.^{[22]
X
Trustworthy Source

PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health

Go to source}
- When you discuss counseling, try not to frame it negatively. Instead, you could say, “We’re both feeling a lot of emotions, and I think a counselor could give us a fresh perspective. It’s better if we sort through our feelings instead of taking them out on each other.”

Expert Q&A

Search

Add New Question

Question

What foods can I eat to make sex last longer?

Ritu Thakur, MA
Natural Health Care Professional
Dr. Ritu Thakur is a healthcare consultant based in Delhi, India. She has over 14 years of experience in Ayurveda, Naturopathy, Yoga, and Holistic Care. Dr. Ritu also works as a business consultant in the life sciences domain. She has successfully executed 150+ small to large-scale custom consulting projects for both established and development-stage companies. She received her Bachelor Degree in Medicine (BAMS) in 2009 from BU University, Bhopal followed by her Master's in Health Care in 2011 from Apollo Institute of Health Care Management, Hyderabad.

Ritu Thakur, MA

Natural Health Care Professional

Expert Answer

Foods that are rich in potassium, like bananas, garlic, and onion, can help increase sexual endurance.

Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
Thank you for your feedback.
If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
Yes No

Not Helpful 25 Helpful 71
Question

Are there any herbs that can help make sex last longer?

Ritu Thakur, MA
Natural Health Care Professional
Dr. Ritu Thakur is a healthcare consultant based in Delhi, India. She has over 14 years of experience in Ayurveda, Naturopathy, Yoga, and Holistic Care. Dr. Ritu also works as a business consultant in the life sciences domain. She has successfully executed 150+ small to large-scale custom consulting projects for both established and development-stage companies. She received her Bachelor Degree in Medicine (BAMS) in 2009 from BU University, Bhopal followed by her Master's in Health Care in 2011 from Apollo Institute of Health Care Management, Hyderabad.

Ritu Thakur, MA

Natural Health Care Professional

Expert Answer

Try taking 1 teaspoon of ginseng with milk before bed to increase your sexual endurance. Taking ginseng powder mixed with musli powder can also help.

Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
Thank you for your feedback.
If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
Yes No

Not Helpful 30 Helpful 60

Ask a Question

200 characters left

Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

Submit

Video

Tips

Including more potassium-rich foods in your diet, like banana, garlic, and onion, can increase your sexual endurance.^{[23]
X
Expert Source

Ritu Thakur, MA
Natural Health Care Specialist

Expert Interview. 25 July 2019.}

Thanks
Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
Taking 1 teaspoon (5 grams) of ginseng with milk before bed may help increase your sexual endurance.^{[24]
X
Expert Source

Ritu Thakur, MA
Natural Health Care Specialist

Expert Interview. 25 July 2019.}

Thanks
Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
Taking ginseng powder mixed with musli powder may help make sex last longer.^{[25]
X
Expert Source

Ritu Thakur, MA
Natural Health Care Specialist

Expert Interview. 25 July 2019.}

Thanks
Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0