This article was co-authored by Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS and by wikiHow staff writer, Kira Jan. Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards.
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How can you tell if your girlfriend is faking an orgasm? It's actually not uncommon for women to fake the “Big O.” In fact, 67% of heterosexual women have faked an orgasm at one point or another—though that doesn't necessarily reflect your performance or how she feels about you.[1] Still, a fake orgasm can leave you wondering “Am I actually good in bed?” and “What should I be doing differently?” To answer those questions and more, we'll walk you through 11 telltale signs she’s faking it. We've even put together science-backed tips to help you make your girlfriend orgasm for real.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Tips
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If your partner ever seems uncomfortable or in pain during sex, stop. Likewise, if she asks you to stop, stop. Enthusiastic consent is a must before and during sex.[28]Thanks
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Try using lubricant to reduce discomfort and friction during sex and increase your girlfriend’s pleasure. Water-based and silicone lube are safe to use with condoms, while oil-based lubes (and lotion) are not.[29]Thanks
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You might've seen a myth that the clitoris retracts during orgasm. For some women, the clitoral hood will retract (essentially the female equivalent of a foreskin). But depending on each woman’s anatomy that’s not necessarily something you’ll be able to see or feel.[30] For other women, their clitoral hood won’t retract at all.[31]Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/04/orgasm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/202101/how-long-does-it-take-women-climax-during-intercourse
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK547548/
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/theres-help-for-women-who-cant-achieve-orgasm/
- ↑ https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-017-0939-z
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087699/
- ↑ https://www.ted.com/talks/peggy_orenstein_what_young_women_believe_about_their_own_sexual_pleasure?language=en
- ↑ https://umatter.princeton.edu/respect/consent/asking-consent
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087698/
- ↑ https://www.theline.org.au/6-hot-ways-to-do-consent/
- ↑ https://kinseyinstitute.org/pdf/womens%20orgasm%20annual%20review.pdf
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28678639/
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087699/
- ↑ https://kinseyinstitute.org/pdf/womens%20orgasm%20annual%20review.pdf
- ↑ https://www.rfsu.se/globalassets/pdf/a-clitoral-guide.pdf
- ↑ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/eye-opener-why-do-pupils-dialate/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/201901/do-you-have-sex-your-eyes-closed
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/orgasm
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087699/
- ↑ https://kinseyinstitute.org/pdf/womens%20orgasm%20annual%20review.pdf
- ↑ https://www.rfsu.se/globalassets/pdf/a-clitoral-guide.pdf
- ↑ https://kinseyinstitute.org/pdf/womens%20orgasm%20annual%20review.pdf
- ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sex-pleasure-and-sexual-dysfunction/sex-and-pleasure/how-do-i-talk-my-partner-about-sex
- ↑ https://www.relate.org.uk/blog/2015/8/05/why-you-shouldnt-worry-so-much-about-being-good-bed
- ↑ https://news.ufl.edu/articles/2018/05/the-orgasm-gap-picking-up-where-the-sexual-revolution-left-off.html
- ↑ https://www.psypost.org/2019/06/couples-who-communicate-more-about-sex-tend-to-have-better-sex-study-finds-53916
- ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sex-pleasure-and-sexual-dysfunction/sex-and-pleasure/how-do-i-talk-my-partner-about-sex
- ↑ https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/what-consent-does-and-doesnt-look-like/
- ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/ask-experts/how-do-you-use-lube-with-condoms
- ↑ https://kinseyinstitute.org/pdf/womens%20orgasm%20annual%20review.pdf
- ↑ https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a23552908/clitoral-hood/