How to Tell if Your Girlfriend Is Horny: 12 Signs She's Turned On

Co-authored by Jacqueline Hellyer and Madeleine Flamiano

Last Updated: January 11, 2023 Fact Checked

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Wondering if your girlfriend is in the mood for a little romance? We've decoded all the signs that a woman is turned on, from the way she'll look at you to what she'll say and do. If you want to know if your girlfriend is horny, then read on—after you check out these tips, you’ll know exactly what’s on her mind!

1

She’ll look you up and down.

She’ll check you out to send the message that she's excited. No matter what you’re doing, she’ll watch you intently. Even if you’re just washing the dishes or playing a video game, she’ll eye you and follow your every move. Because she’ll be thrilled to be around you, she might also blush, giggle, bite her lip, or smirk.^{[1]
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- Her pupils may also dilate, or get bigger, when she looks at you because she’s aroused.
- Her gaze might drop below your waist, or she may stare at certain body parts, like your arms.
- She may stand in one place and forget what she’s doing since she’s so distracted by you.

2

She’ll blush around you.

Her cheeks will get red because she’ll feel a lot of desire for you. As soon as you get close to her, her face will immediately “flush,” or get warmer. Her neck and upper chest might become a little pinker, too. Her heart rate will also go up and adrenaline will make her breathe faster, so she may sound like she’s a little nervous around you. If she does, it’ll be because she feels a rush when you’re nearby.^{[2]
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- She may look down as a reflex because she can feel her cheeks warm up and might feel a little self-conscious about it.
- If you point out that she’s blushing, she may say something like, “I am?! You caught me!” This might be her way of admitting you have a strong effect on her.

3

She’ll touch you a lot more often.

She’ll stroke and caress you because she’ll crave your touch. Whenever she passes by you, she’ll be unable to resist brushing against you or holding onto you. She may run her hand down your back, pat your hip, stroke your face, or squeeze your leg.^{[3]
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Research source} She might also follow you around or try to get closer to you in any way she can, like sitting next to you while you relax on the couch. Just being near you will thrill her.
- She might be a lot more affectionate than usual. For instance, she might suddenly hug you from behind.
- She may say she can’t help herself with a comment like, “I just can’t keep my hands off you!”
- She may touch you in many different places—for example, first she might stroke your hair, but then she’ll begin to pet your chest.

4

The tone of her voice will change.

When she wants to seduce you, she’ll lower her voice.^{[4]
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Research source} When she wants to be sultry and sexy, she’ll drop the pitch of her voice. She’ll have a deeper tone of voice and sound breathier to signal that she’s feeling really romantic and primal.
- Usually, she’ll intentionally speak in a different tone of voice because she’ll think you’ll find it more attractive.
- She may consider a deeper tone of voice her “bedroom voice.”^{[5]
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  Research source} She might use it when she wants to tempt you to be intimate with her.

5

She’ll gush about the way you look.

She’ll want you to know she’s incredibly attracted to you. Whether you’re dressed up or keeping it casual, she’ll waste no time saying she’s super impressed. She’ll heap on the praise and admire your face, body, and style. To boost your ego and get you in the mood, she’ll make comments like:^{[6]
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- “Your eyes look so green in this light! I can’t get over how gorgeous they are.”
- “I’ve got to touch those biceps! You’re obviously crushing upper body day.”
- “I love that cashmere sweater! It fits you just right.”

6

She’ll dress up in sexy outfits.

She’ll want to grab your attention so you’ll get her out of her clothes. She’ll put a lot of effort into her appearance and make sure anything she wears is really form-fitting—she may go for an elegant choice and wear a tight dress or try a look that’s both alluring and casual, like a crop top and shorts.^{[7]
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Research source} When she’s around you, she might even strut so you notice her.
- She may sway her hips so you’ll look at her entire figure.
- She might go the extra mile and wear full makeup as well as a nice perfume.
- She may show off parts of her body you compliment a lot, like her chest or her legs.

7

She’ll make a lot of innuendos.

She’ll hope her playful comments fire you up. She’ll get really creative and find a way to make almost any situation sexual. For example, you might come back from the gym and she may tell you that you should get ready for another workout. She may also tease you with comments like these to work up your imagination:^{[8]
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- “Hey, babe, don’t you think we need to work some more ‘cardio’ into our routine?”
- “Look at you with that ice cream cone! I like that technique."
- “It’s Saturday! I think we should keep each other up all night!”

8

She’ll look at your lips when you talk.

If she wants some kisses, she'll focus on your lips. Even though she usually looks right into your eyes, she’ll keep staring at your mouth. Her eyes might gloss over and she might smile or smirk. She may also lick her lips and swallow because she really wants to kiss you.^{[9]
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- She might be so distracted by your lips that she loses track of what you’re saying. She may say, “Huh? Sorry. Can you repeat that?”
- She may admit, “I really just want to kiss you right now!”
- She might also initiate a kiss because she just can’t wait any longer.

9

She’ll make out with you.

It’ll be her form of foreplay because she’ll be craving intimacy.^{[10]
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Research source} She may take you somewhere she can get on top of you, like the couch or the bed. Instead of giving you innocent pecks, she’ll kiss you passionately. She may also start up some “heavy petting” and caress you so you’re both ready to get a little more physical.^{[11]
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- When you both kiss, you’ll share each other’s saliva, which has testosterone in it. Testosterone is more likely to enhance your sex drive.^{[12]
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- A deep kiss also releases dopamine and oxytocin, hormones that will make you both feel happy and excited.
- She’ll kiss you because she’ll want you to feel the same amount of desire she does.

10

She’ll arch her back when you kiss.

She’ll want to seduce you by showing off her curves. When your girlfriend arches her back, she’ll accentuate her chest and her hips. This special technique will bring a lot of attention to her body and create an “hourglass” shape. If she gets into this position, she’ll want you to focus on her figure.^{[13]
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- If she arches her back, she can show off her chest as well as her hips.
- An arched back also resembles different sex positions.
- While you’re both clothed, she may also rub against you to excite you.

11

Her breathing will speed up.

Her quick, shallow breaths are a sign that she’s really wound up.^{[14]
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Research source} She’ll stop speaking and only focus on kissing and heavy petting. She’ll sigh every time you touch her, and she’ll breathe more heavily when you two really turn up the heat—for example, when you squeeze her thigh. Since you’ll really get her heart racing and her blood flowing, she’ll be almost breathless.
- When she’s excited, she’ll get an adrenaline rush. This increases her heart rate and sends more oxygen to her muscles, making her breathe more quickly.^{[15]
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12

She’ll say she’s ready to take things to the next level.

She’ll be more direct and bring you to the bedroom. After you make out, she might smile, look you right in the eyes, and take you by the hand. She’ll be eager to switch locations so you two can get even more physical. In order to clue you in about exactly what she wants, she’ll make a suggestive comment like:
- “Let’s take this upstairs…”
- “I want to show you what I have in mind…”
- “We should get out of these clothes…”

Expert Q&A

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Question

How can my girlfriend and I get horny at the same time?

Jacqueline Hellyer
Licensed Psychosexual Therapist
Jacqueline Hellyer is a Licensed Psychosexual Therapist and the Founder of The Love Life Blog and The LoveLife Clinic. With over 20 years of experience, Jacqueline specializes in sex advice, sex tips, and relationship advice. In addition to being an accredited Psychosexual Therapist with the Society of Australian Sexologists (SAS), Jacqueline is also a Professional Certified Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF). Jacqueline holds a BSc in Biochemistry and Human Sciences from The Australian National University, a Graduate Diploma in Applied Science from the University of Canberra, a BA in Languages and Literature from the University of New England (AU), an MSc in Sexual Health from The University of Sydney, and an MSc in Consciousness, Spirituality & Transpersonal Psychology from The Alef Trust. Her work and expertise have been featured in Australian Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, Australian Women’s Health, Marie Claire, and 60 Minutes.

Jacqueline Hellyer

Licensed Psychosexual Therapist

Expert Answer

Talk about sex! Most people think that sex will just happen, but it's actually something you need to talk about with your partner. It's totally normal for partners to be horny at different times, but being open and honest can help you have more sex. Get comfortable with telling each other when you want to have sex so you can try to sync up.

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Question

What does "horny" mean?

Brett

Community Answer

It means to desire sex. If you think about sex a lot, you're horny.

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