This article was co-authored by Joshua Pompey. Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.
There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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When you have a crush on a guy, you want him to think about you just as much as you think about him. How can you make sure you linger in his mind long after you've said goodbye?
Steps
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Make eye contact. Locking eyes can cause crazy sparks. Don't try to stare deep into his soul (that could come off as creepy), but if you can catch his eye from across the room or hold his gaze while talking, you can have a major affect on him.[1] Eye contact causes arousal and can lead to feelings of attraction.[2]
- Try catching his gaze and smiling as you look away. Then glance back at him again.
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Touch him unexpectedly (but appropriately). Touching increases attraction and can elevate a person's heart rate, similar to what they experience when falling in love. Finding subtle ways to make physical contact will help you stay on his mind.[3]Advertisement
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Say his name. Don't use his name to start every other sentence, but drop it into conversation every once in a while. It will grab his attention, foster a sense of intimacy, and reminds him that you're thinking only about him.[6]
- If he says something that makes you laugh or blush, try saying his name quietly as you laugh.
- Nicknames can be fun, too. If you give him a nickname that only you use, your little inside joke will set your relationship apart.
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Wear a subtle, signature fragrance. Don't pour your perfume all over yourself--if it's too strong, it's going to be a turn-off and may even cause headaches or allergic reactions. Apply just a little so he will be able to smell it when you're close to him. His mind will create an association between you and your fragrance.
- Consider a fragrance he might encounter when he's not with you. Try rose or lavender, or even something fun like pumpkin pie or coconut. Then, when he walks by a rose bush, he'll instantly think of you.[7]
wikiHow Quiz: Does He Like Me?
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Live your own life. Don't wait around hoping to hear from him. Your life without him should be full and interesting. The biggest mistake you can make is to wait for a guy to make your life fun and exciting. That gives you way too much time to obsess about your crush and, frankly, makes you pretty boring. Get busy pursuing your own thing and it's likely he'll be wondering if he can tag along.
- Showing that you are an interesting, independent person all on your own. He'll be flattered that you're spending time with him not because you need him to make your life exciting, but because you choose to be with him.
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Be yourself. Don't set yourself up for failure by pretending to be something you're not just to get a guy to like you. If he doesn't see through your act immediately, it will only be a matter of time before he finds out. Being comfortable with yourself projects confidence, which is irresistible.[8]
- If you hate football but your crush is obsessed with it, don't pretend to be a fan. If you just don't know much about the sport, ask him to share his knowledge. If you're into it, then you've got another thing in common. If you're not, that's okay. Just be honest!
- If your crush always dates girly girls but you're more of a tomboy, don't reinvent yourself just so he'll notice you. If you can catch his interest because you're interesting and funny, you'll know he's into you for your personality, and not just because you fit his "type."
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Don't overthink it. Obsessing over whether or not he thinks about you as much as you think about him is draining, can hurt your self-esteem, and can cause you to feel insecure.[9] Crushes are supposed to be fun! Focus on living that full, interesting life, and you won't worry so much about what's going to happen next.
- Don't let obsessing stop you from doing the things you love and turn you into someone else. Keep doing the things that make you you.
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Ask him questions about himself and listen to what he says. Most people really like to talk about themselves. It feels good when someone is genuinely interested in your opinion and experiences and wants you to share those things.[10] Ask about his hobbies or his favorite bands and movies. People tend to have a very positive opinion about people who ask them questions about themselves.[11]
- Make sure you weigh in, too. The conversation shouldn't be all about him. Share your own thoughts and opinions (and don't feel you always have to agree with him).
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Don't play hard to get. You may think that flirting up a storm with other guys will show him that you're desirable and have other options, but playing hard to get rarely works.[12] Research shows that we are more attracted to people who are selective. So if you're in a group and none of the other guys seem to hold your attention, but you have a big smile just for your crush, you're going to catch his interest.[13]
- This doesn't mean you have to be rude, mean, or ignore other guys. But if you were thinking about flirting with someone just to make your crush jealous, you might want to think again.
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Maintain a sense of mystery. If he knows everything about you right off the bat, he'll lose the fun and anticipation of slowly getting to know what makes you tick. So hold back a little bit. Don't call, message, or text him constantly. Give him the time and room to think and wonder about you. Let him be curious about you and what you're doing.
- Don't ignore him or be rude, but don't always be available.
Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat do I text a guy to make him think about me?Joshua PompeyJoshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.
Relationship ExpertThe longer you can keep a conversation going with a guy, the more likely he is to keep you in mind. Try to avoid empty conversations and random small talk. A question like, "Have you seen this new Netflix documentary? I'm watching it right now and it's crazy," or, "You won't believe what my coworker just did," is going to always produce more natural, interesting conversations than, "What's up?"
Tips
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Be confident, or if you aren't at least try to come off as confident!Thanks
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Don't come on too strong and ask him out very early on.Thanks
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If you want to go out with him, you can still go out with him, even if you don't ask him drop a subtle and playful hint that you can and would like to go to something he wants to go to. Having a date to look forward to will keep you on his mind.Thanks
Warnings
- Don't change yourself in order to get the guy! Stay true to the things you enjoy: music, films, hanging out..Thanks
References
- ↑ http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/flirting.shtml
- ↑ Joshua Pompey. Relationship Expert. Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.
- ↑ Joshua Pompey. Relationship Expert. Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201202/how-flirt-and-seduce-touch-part-1
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201202/how-flirt-and-seduce-touch-part-1
- ↑ http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a3479/7-ways-to-make-him-ache-for-you/
- ↑ http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a3479/7-ways-to-make-him-ache-for-you/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201310/does-everyone-find-confidence-attractive
- ↑ http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating/the-simple-shift-that-makes-you-instantly-more-attractive/#.VgsQKBNViko
- ↑ http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-neuroscience-of-everybody-favorite-topic-themselves/
- ↑ Joshua Pompey. Relationship Expert. Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.
- ↑ http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/flirting.shtml
- ↑ http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/flirting.shtml
About This Article
To make a guy think about you, all you need to do is be nice and show an interest in his life. Find out what he does for fun and check in occasionally to ask about it. If he mentions he has a big football game coming up on Friday, text him on the weekend and ask him how it went. The fact that you care will make him think of you more often. You should also tell him fun and interesting things about yourself and look for things you have in common. For example, if you have a conversation about a band you both like, next time he listens to them, he’ll probably think about you! Once you have him on the hook, try to maintain a little mystery about yourself to keep him guessing. For instance, if he asks what your favorite movie is, you can say, “It’s kind of embarrassing. Maybe if we get to know each other better, I’ll let you in on the secret.” For more tips, including how to avoid obsessing about a guy, read on!
Reader Success Stories
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"The guy I like likes another girl, and I'm okay with just being his friend. Talking to him and making him smile has helped me a lot, I catch him trying to get my attention. He teases and we have fun."..." more