This article was co-authored by Marissa Floro, PhD and by wikiHow staff writer, Cheyenne Main. Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures.
There are 15 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Trying to find gay guys to date or become friends with in a small town can be difficult, but luckily, there are tons of online groups and activities that can create a sense of queer community. From dating apps to forums and chat rooms, the internet has a plethora of safe spaces for you to explore. If you’re safely able to, you can also visit other towns or cities that host LGBTQ+ events or start your own gay pride club. We spoke with licensed psychologist Ketari Berasi and matchmaker Lauren Sanders to find the best ways to meet gay guys when you’re living in a small town.
Meeting Gay Guys Near You
- Join an LGBTQ+ dating app or website like Grindr.
- Find gay social media groups on Facebook or Instagram.
- Look for gay-friendly clubs on Meetup.
- Join an online LGBTQ+ forum or chat room.
- Visit gay bars, clubs, or lounges in other cities or towns.
Steps
Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat can I do if I have no confidence to meet other gay men?Imad JbaraImad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
Dating CoachA big part of this often stems from not finding the right people to surround yourself with. If you're shy, try to be more expressive and get out there. Show yourself to people so you can find other LGBTQ folks you can look up to. This way, you can build a support group where you can find support to build that confidence you want. The first step is always expressing yourself, though!
Tips
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Living in a small town can get lonely as a queer person. It can be tough leaving the place you call home, but consider moving to a place known for being queer-friendly if you have a hard time finding other queer men or feel socially isolated.[21]Thanks
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Be careful meeting someone in person for the first time. People on the internet may not be who they seem, so try video calling before meeting in real life.Thanks
References
- ↑ Lauren Sanders. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. Wednesday, April 26, 2023.
- ↑ https://mashable.com/roundup/best-gay-dating-apps
- ↑ https://chicagoreader.com/reader-partners/twenty-best-lgbtq-dating-sites-and-apps/
- ↑ Lauren Sanders. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. Wednesday, April 26, 2023.
- ↑ https://www.pointofpride.org/blog/how-to-be-queer-in-a-small-town
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/support-groups/art-20044655
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a36696477/lgbt-community/
- ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/just-because-youre-queer-doesnt-mean-you-have-to-go-to-the-bar
- ↑ https://www.pride.com/gay/2016/6/08/how-survive-being-gaybi-small-town
- ↑ https://www.them.us/story/first-timers-guide-to-pride
- ↑ Kateri Berasi, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 9 September 2021.
- ↑ Kateri Berasi, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 9 September 2021.
- ↑ https://www.campuspride.org/resources/starting-an-lgbt-resource-center/
- ↑ https://www.pointofpride.org/blog/how-to-be-queer-in-a-small-town
- ↑ Kateri Berasi, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 9 September 2021.
- ↑ Kateri Berasi, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 9 September 2021.
- ↑ Kateri Berasi, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 9 September 2021.
- ↑ https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/guide/the-coming-out-handbook/
- ↑ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-to-come-out-to-your-friends
- ↑ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-to-come-out-to-parents-tips
- ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/how-to-cope-when-youre-gay-and-lonely