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QuestionWhat are the first signs of cheating?
Michelle JacobyMichelle Jacoby is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder and CEO of DC Matchmaking, a privately owned, boutique matchmaking company based in Washington, DC, Maryland, and Virginia. She is also the Co-Founder of The Matchmakers Alliance, an international industry organization for matchmakers. With over 12 years of experience, Michelle specializes in one-on-one matchmaking and group coaching to help singles find healthy, lasting relationships. She has been featured in several media publications such as The Washington Post, Self, and NPR. Michelle holds a BA in Psychology from George Washington University. She is also a Certified Matchmaker from The Matchmakers Institute as well as a Certified Body Language Expert from The Body Language Institute.
Matchmaker & Dating CoachYour partner might not be where they say they're going to be. They might also change their physical appearance, lose some weight, and/or shave in places where they don't usually shave. -
QuestionIs he cheating or am I paranoid?Michelle JacobyMichelle Jacoby is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder and CEO of DC Matchmaking, a privately owned, boutique matchmaking company based in Washington, DC, Maryland, and Virginia. She is also the Co-Founder of The Matchmakers Alliance, an international industry organization for matchmakers. With over 12 years of experience, Michelle specializes in one-on-one matchmaking and group coaching to help singles find healthy, lasting relationships. She has been featured in several media publications such as The Washington Post, Self, and NPR. Michelle holds a BA in Psychology from George Washington University. She is also a Certified Matchmaker from The Matchmakers Institute as well as a Certified Body Language Expert from The Body Language Institute.
Matchmaker & Dating CoachIf you're feeling paranoid, investigate why you feel that way. Usually, our bodies know when things aren't right, but we tend to listen to our brain more than our gut instinct. Sometimes, the gut is very revealing! -
QuestionMy boyfriend has sexual videos of himself with a girl he used to date on his phone. Should I be worried?
wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff Answer
wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerIf your boyfriend has saved explicit videos of himself with another girl, this doesn't necessarily mean he's physically cheating, but it sounds like he could still have an attachment to his ex. It might be worth it to have a conversation with him about what qualifies as "cheating" (since it sounds like this does for you, as it does for many people), or to just end the relationship. -
QuestionIs it cheating if your boyfriend has another video of a girl?
wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff Answer
wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerIf he has explicit videos of a girl he knows or previously dated, this is a strong sign he's cheating (or at best is hung up on his ex, if the video is old--which is still bad news). If it's footage of a girl he doesn't know in real life (or online), it might be worth it to have a conversation about pornography's role in your relationship. When it comes to pornography, everyone has different boundaries. If he's a good boyfriend, he'll hear your concerns and do his best to alleviate them. -
QuestionMy boyfriend talks in his sleep, and he says the girl's name.
wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff Answer
wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerIf your boyfriend says another girl's name once or twice in his sleep, it might be nothing. But if he says it regularly, it could be a sign he's messing around. Ask him who the girl is, and observe his reaction: if he gets flustered, angry, or hesitant to talk about it, he might be hiding something. -
QuestionWhat if we're only 12 years old and I can't follow him?
wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff Answer
wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerSpying on a partner is a hard task for people of all ages, and it's probably for the best: following your boyfriend is a last resort and usually a sign the relationship needs to end regardless of whether he's actually cheating or not. -
QuestionMy boyfriend has a girl best friend and they dated before. Can I trust that?
wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff Answer
wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerIf your boyfriend is still friends with an ex, it's not automatically a red flag. If there's really nothing going on, he'll go above and beyond to make you feel comfortable: he'll introduce you both and make an effort to involve you in the friendship, he'll fill you in about when and where they hang out together, and he'll check in regularly to see how you're feeling about the whole thing. Over time, your discomfort is likely to fade as you learn to trust both of them. -
QuestionCan a womanizer ever be faithful?
wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff Answer
wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerIf you're involved with someone with a...let's just say, ''unsavory relationship history'', it's natural to be concerned that he'll be unfaithful to you. People do change, and while your fears are valid, if you want to be with him, give him the benefit of the doubt until he starts acting suspicious. -
QuestionIf you're dating a guy who says you should keep the relationship a secret, does it mean he's cheating on you?
wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff Answer
wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerIf your boyfriend wants to keep your relationship secret, he may or may not be cheating on you, but take it as a red flag anyway: it's a pretty big sign he's not interested in a committed relationship. Run! -
QuestionIf a guy cheats, it doesn't count, he can sleep around. But with a woman, it's emotional, therefore it is not OK for a woman to have multiple partners.
wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff Answer
wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerNobody should cheat on their partner, regardless of gender. Both men and women can get emotionally attached to their affair partners, and both men and women get devastated when they're cheated on. But whether it's OK for someone in a relationship to have multiple partners depends on the boundaries defined by them and their partner(s): cheating doesn't necessarily refer to having multiple partners, but lying about having multiple partners. -
QuestionShould I stalk my boyfriend until he confesses to cheating on me, even though I have no suspicions?
wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff Answer
wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerIf you don't suspect your boyfriend is cheating, keep on keeping on! No need to poke around for evidence. Even if you did suspect he was cheating, spying is really a last resort, as it can really damage the trust between you both if he's not cheating. -
QuestionWhat do I do if I'm too shy to ask if he's cheating on me? Should I just leave him be? Also, if my man is cheating what do I do? Should I leave him? Also what should I do about the girl? What is a girl to do?
wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff Answer
wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerIt's hard to confront your boyfriend about your suspicions, but part of being in a relationship is being able to talk to your partner about the tough stuff. If he's a good guy and not cheating, he'll do his best to reassure you he's faithful and show you whatever evidence you need that he's not cheating. If he is cheating, you can choose to give him another chance, but it's also perfectly understandable to end the relationship. As for what to do about the other girl...it might be tempting to try to find out who she is, get in contact, even yell at her, but ultimately, your boyfriend is the one you should be concerned with.
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