What Kind of Reality Check Do I Need Quiz
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QuestionHow do you handle guests who stay too long?
Tami ClaytorTami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.
Etiquette CoachI suggest you tell them you have some cleaning to do around the house and you don't want to make them uncomfortable. You could also tell them you booked a last-minute trip and need them to leave early. -
QuestionHow can I get my husband's family to come for a shorter visit than they planned?
Community AnswerTell them you have plans for one of the last days they will be there: "Oh, I didn't realize you had planned to stay so long. I'm sorry that won't work out. We have plans that day." -
QuestionMy house guests left when I left for a weekend trip. When I arrived back home, these house guests had returned and moved into my house. They refuse to leave, and have nailed the kitchen door shut and broken the garage door. What can I do?
Community AnswerIf you haven't already spoken to them directly, tell them that if they do not leave you will be forced to call the police. Do this with a friend for support. Once they're out, change the locks and be done with it. -
QuestionWhat do I do if the house guest doesn't leave and their kid or kids are bossy and telling the owner's kid or kids what to do or what to play with?
Community AnswerIf you have already told them to leave and they still refuse, you should call the police. Not only is this your and your family's house, but your child's place as well. Strictly talk to the children making your child uncomfortable. If this does not work, talk to their parents.
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QuestionHow can I make my abusive boyfriend leave my home?
Community AnswerCall the police and file a complaint and a restraining order. -
QuestionDo I have any legal recourse if house guests have over stayed their welcome and will not leave?
Community AnswerYes. Tell the house guests that they are no longer welcome. After notifying them of this, if they refuse to leave, they are trespassing, and you can call the police. -
QuestionMy husband is in the habit of inviting house guests (family members) that don't leave. We end up supporting them. His daughter stayed three months with her boyfriend and two year old. She wrecked our car and her son destroyed our home. Our utility bills skyrocketed. Two days later his niece moves in for 6 months.
Community AnswerTalk to your husband about the problem. Tell him it is your home as well and that you appreciate his generosity but not the fact that people are invading your space and causing you both to spend more money. Explain to him that the people staying there will never learn independence if he keeps sheltering them, and that that is unhealthy for them. Ask him to confer with you before allowing the people in and set deadlines on their stay, both with your husband and then both of you reiterating this to the person staying. When the deadline is reached, pack their bags for them if they haven't already, as the contract is up.
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QuestionWhat should I do if house guests arrive unannounced?
Community AnswerTell them it is not a good time. If they ask why, you can make something up, or better yet, tell them you already have plans/already have guests coming. If that isn't good enough for them, they are being rude and you can tell them that. It is not appropriate for someone to invite him/herself over to your house.
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QuestionMy sister asked to stay with me for a few days, but has taken over my whole lower level and now my kids have nowhere to hang with their friends. What do I do?
Community AnswerTalk to her about it. If she's invading your space, you need to get her to do what it takes to find some other place to live.
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QuestionHow do I handle weekend guests that stayed for a month?
Community AnswerOffer gentle hints, but if they do not respond after a few days, ask them up front why they have not left yet. Tell them they need to pay rent if they intend to remain in your home.
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QuestionWhat to do, if they feel they outstayed their welcome and are making me uncomfortable because they are always there, all the time?
Community AnswerFollow each of the steps in this article, but check to see if there are any family problems. It's possible that they could be using your house as an escape route. If they are close to you, try talking to them.
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QuestionHow do I get a hurt friend to get out of my house after staying too long?
Community AnswerOffer to help her before sending her on her way politely.
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QuestionMy in-law has been staying with us for a month. He invites HIS in-laws over when I'm not home, which drives me crazy. He got an apartment last week, but still hasn't left. Suggestions?
Community AnswerYou have to tell your in-law that it's bad manners and disrespectful to invite people to someone else's house without their consent. Now that he has a new apartment, just calmly tell him that you need your space back, and it's time for him to move out.
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QuestionMy niece is 55 years old. I invited her to live with me two years ago. She is abusive and a pain, and she says I can't evict her in Florida. She buys food and pays for cable and the house phone. What can I do?
Tom De BackerTop AnswererDo not accept any abusive behavior from anyone, no matter who they are or where they live. Set strong boundaries as to what behavior is acceptable. If you don't want her to live with you anymore, you have every right to demand she moves out. Paying bills does not give her the right to stay. Sit her down and talk about it. Just because you decided something two years ago, doesn't mean you can't change your mind. If there are legal matters involved, ask a legal expert for advice. But in general, if you want her to leave, that is enough to obligate her to leave. -
QuestionHow do I handle my mother-in-law who has overstayed her welcome?
Community AnswerIf she is reasonable, kindly tell her that you have enjoyed her visit and that you are sorry to see her go the following morning, but that you will have to get together another time soon. If she offers to stay, tell her it won't work because you have plans, but that you'll see her soon and thank her for coming. If she is not reasonable, allow your husband to deal with her.
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QuestionWhat about a person who is not from the USA?
Tom De BackerTop AnswererIt doesn't matter where they are from, or if they have another place to stay. If you no longer want them at your place, the rest is their responsibility, not yours. You can make clear arrangements, e.g. "OK, you can stay one more week, and I'll help you look for a place, but no matter what, after that, you have to leave".
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QuestionMy dad let one of his childhood friends stay over. Her 40-year-old son is rude, very nasty, and eats everything. We even had to lock our fridge. My dad is too nice, they don't even pay rent.
I like sushiTop AnswererI think you should try talking to your dad because this seems like a very toxic, and unhealthy situation. Explain that it is nice of him to give them a place to stay, but they are overstaying their welcome. -
QuestionWhat should I say when leaving as a house guest due to tense situations?
Community AnswerSay something like: I really should get going, I don't want to keep (make up someone) waiting. You could also try saying that It was nice staying but I have work/school/hobby in the morning.
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QuestionMy sister has her friend over and he just sleeps on our couch all day. He stinks up the house and I sit in my room and starve because he makes me uncomfortable. My mom won't kick him out. What do I do?
Tom De BackerTop AnswererYour mother is in charge in her own house. If she has agreed to him staying at your place, then that's that. However, you have a right to let her know that this is making you uncomfortable. Everyone living in one place should be respected. In addition, the house guest can be expected to do his best not to put extra stress on any of the other people living in the house. However, he may not be aware of your thoughts and feelings. In conclusion, talk to your mother first, stress how you feel and if necessary push for a conversation with all people involved and outline your expectations.
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QuestionMy parents have let one of their friends stay over so she can find a job. What was going to be only a few weeks has turned into 3 months. How do I get my parents to let her know she should leave?
RevadCommunity AnswerI would suggest you say "Mom, dad, I think it is time for so-and-so to leave." Then you can begin to have the discussion. If they are elderly and you suspect they are being taken advantage of, say so! -
QuestionA friend of ours has his own place during the summer, but no water in the winter. We offered for him to stay with us about 4 years ago, but never expected it would be a yearly event. Help!
RevadCommunity AnswerTell him that next winter you are going to invite other friends/family to come and stay, so he will need to make other arrangements. That way he has plenty of time to plan for finding other accommodations.
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QuestionA woman lives with me, and her 45-year-old son came to stay for a visit. It's been a month when I suggested the stay is too long she gets angry at me, and those two pair up and act like they own my home and I'm a visitor.
Tom De BackerTop AnswererMake clear arrangements. You are the house owner, so whatever you want or decide must be respected. If you don't want her son to stay any longer, he has to leave. Sit down and make plans. Set a time limit. Ask friends to come over and help you with this conversation if you get overwhelmed.
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QuestionDo you feel three weeks in the summer is a long time for a visit from a brother?
I like sushiTop AnswererIt really depends on how long you are comfortable with him staying. If you think that is too long, then just tell him you'd rather it be a shorter visit.
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QuestionHow do I handle house guests who do leave but show up again every week to visit?
Community AnswerYou could just tell them that you would like to restrict their visits to every other weekend, once a month, or some other set time frame. Don't be afraid to set boundaries for yourself!
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QuestionHow do I get a friend who has been staying with me for a long time to move out?
Community AnswerAsk them if they are looking for a new place. Do they have a job? Give them a deadline to move out. You need your space and privacy, and this will end up affecting your finances. Stick up for yourself. Your friend deserves honesty, so don’t make something up. If they are taking advantage of you, they are not your friend.
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QuestionHow do I handle a father-in-law who gets up very in the morning because he lives in a different time zone? He wakes the entire household because he can't sleep.
Tom De BackerTop AnswererMake an effort. If you're all sleeping in until 9:00, maybe get up at 7. Let him know this. "Just for you, we're all making an effort to get up early so we can enjoy your company longer." In return, ask him to be very quiet if he wakes up earlier. He's still a guest in your house, no matter how closely related he may be. Your house, your rules.
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QuestionI'm kind of an introvert, and now a guest (of my age) is coming to stay with me for a couple of days. What should I do? How do I make her comfortable?
Community AnswerFirstly, I would recommend making sure that the house is cleaned and that the fridge is stocked with food. Also, I would make sure that the sheets in the guest bedrooms are new and that there is plenty of room for them to store their items. Your guest probably isn't expecting you to entertain them 24/7, so don't stress too much about being an introvert. If you find yourself needing some space, just tell your guest you're going to read for a bit, grab a book, and head outside or pop in some earbuds.
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QuestionMy wife has people over frequently and I find it intrusive. Do I have any legal options to put a stop to it?
Community AnswerI don't think the law should be involved unless your wife is involved in criminal activities with her guests. Did you talk to your wife about how you find what she does intrusive? If she's a "social butterfly," she may not even know how much it upsets you.
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QuestionWhat can I do about an old friend that continues to stay for longer and longer?
Community AnswerTell them that you're having financial trouble and that if they're going to stay with you for an extended period of time, they need to pay rent.
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QuestionHow do I handle a guest who keeps inviting himself to stay?
Community AnswerHave clear boundaries. He cannot run the show. You have the right to your space and he needs to respect you. If not, state your needs clearly.
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