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Q&A for How to Have a Long Passionate Kiss With Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend

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Question

What should you not do while kissing?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try not to bump into each other during the kiss. You want your lips to lock together, not be doing their own things.

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Question

What if I like the girl but I don’t know if she likes me? I think it’s kind of awkward. I have three crushes.

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It's okay to have more than one crush! But if you're going to pursue a girl, it's probably best to focus on the one you like the best. If you don't know if she likes you, try flirting with her a bit. You might give her compliment or try gently brushing against her in the hall. If she makes a lot of eye contact, she compliments you back, or she goes out of her way to be around you, she probably likes you.

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Question

Is It ok if I don't make the first move if I'm the guy?

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Yes, that's totally fine. You shouldn't feel compelled to make the first move if you aren't comfortable with that, and it doesn't matter whether a guy or girl goes first. Just keep in mind, if she's not confident enough to make the first move, you may end up in a situation where nobody does anything!

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Question

How do you initiate a kiss if you are shy?

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If the other person is interested in you, try to just force yourself to make the move on one kiss! This is one of those things that gets a lot easier if you can do it once and see it's not all that scary. As far as initiation goes, try holding hands first. When you're ready, turn to face them and just go for it!

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Question

How can I turn this into sex if we want?

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You should talk to your partner about having sex. That isn't something you just work towards without discussion and consent first.

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Question

What if there is people around and I'm shy?

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Unless you're playing spin the bottle, kissing is more of a private activity. Try taking your partner somewhere where people won't be able to watch you two smooch. Remember, it's likely that your partner is just as uncomfortable with people watching as you are.

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Question

What if your partner doesn't want to stop kissing?

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Ask your partner if you two can do something else. If they really aren't letting up, just say, "No." You should never keep kissing someone if you're uncomfortable.

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Question

What if it leads to a fight?

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If there's even a remote possibility that you're going to get into a fight over a kiss, it's not a wise idea to go for the kiss in the first place.

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Question

Can you leave your tongue in their mouth for a long time?

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If your partner is into it and you're a fan, go for it! So long as the two of you are consenting, it's fine to kiss however you'd like.

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Question

I am a really shy person, and I think my boyfriend wants me to make the first move. How would I go about it?

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If you and your boyfriend are dating, it's safe to assume they're into the idea of kissing you. Wait for a moment when the two of you are cuddling or holding hands alone and just go for it! If you can force yourself to get over the initial fear, it'll be a lot easier in the future.

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Question

What if you're shy and don't really know how or when to do it?

Karley Snyder

Community Answer

If you're shy, that's okay! Your boyfriend or girlfriend will likely want to kiss you too. Make the first move yourself, or be flirty to try to get them to make the move first!

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Question

What if the boy starts to unhook my bra?

Karley Snyder

Community Answer

If you are uncomfortable with him taking off your bra, tell him. Say, "I only want to kiss now," or something similar. Kissing doesn't have to lead to sex.

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Question

How many minutes should we keep kissing?

Karley Snyder

Community Answer

The amount of time of your kiss will depend on what is comfortable for you and your partner. A long, steamy makeout session can last anywhere from 5 minutes to 1 hour. Aim to kiss for 15-30 minutes to get started.

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Question

What if your partner is not comfortable with the kiss?

Karley Snyder

Community Answer

If your partner seems uncomfortable, talk about it. Maybe they are worried the kiss will lead to further action. Assure them that you care about them, and let them express their feelings about the kiss. After talking to them, give them a hug to show your love. Likely, after you talk out the emotion, they will be okay with kissing deeply.

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Question

How do you know what kind of kiss they want?

Karley Snyder

Community Answer

This will take some practice and communication. For example, pay attention to your partner's body language and cues to determine what they like. If your partner pulls you back for more, moans, or kisses you deeper, they likely enjoy the kiss. Then, you can continue to kiss them with the technique you are using. If you are unsure, try a few different methods and ask your partner what they like best!

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Question

Can this turn into sex?

Karley Snyder

Community Answer

As long as you and your partner are both comfortable, a long kiss can easily become more passionate. Make sure this is okay with your partner before you move forward.

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