Q&A for How to Think of Quick Witted Comebacks

Take a good look at the person or think about who the person is and stuff they said and base your comeback on that. It helps to have a set of witty comebacks learned off by heart for such moments. If you're really good with such comebacks naturally, it usually means you've had to defend yourself a lot in family life, which isn't a great start to life and can leave you constantly being sarcastic, so don't use this as a common way of responding to people.

Think about what's happening and come back. If anything, just laugh. It will show that you don't really care what he said and that it didn't hurt you.

Keep your composure. Just look them in the eye and don't look away. People find this intimidating. You can also ask them to repeat what they said, because it is never funny the second time. You can also say, "The feeling's mutual" or, "No one cares about your opinion" or something like that.

Say something like, "Aww, that's cute... but can we get back to what we were doing? I'd much prefer being nice". It works every time.

Just because they are smart doesn't mean they know every comeback in the book. Just find some that fit the situation.

Using the same focus in the insult they made, find a flaw they have in that area. Think, maybe she called you ugly, but you can see that ugly mole behind her ear. Point it out. But always use creativity. Know they are not perfect. If you are really stuck, say "Yeah, you're a good friend too", making sure to say it sarcastically.

Just try to make them feel stupid about what they said. You could say something like, "What on earth does that mean?" or "Do you think these things through before opening your mouth?"

Use the group's weaknesses. For example, if they are all dressed similarly or have something in common, come up with a comment about that. You can also bring up something from someone's past that really embarrassed that person. Then, the group will pick on one of their own instead of you.

"Why are you crying/looking so sad? Is it because of your hair?" "You know I don't mind that you're not smart. Or pretty. What I do mind is that your parents are brother and sister." "If you ate some of that makeup, you would be pretty on the inside too." "If she ever meets you, even Hello Kitty would say goodbye." "You know, I know three fat people and you're two of them." "If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty."

Memorize some comebacks. For example: "You must have been born on the highway, because that's where most accidents happen."

Remove yourself from the situation.

Say "and what makes you think that?". If they ask why, say "really, you really think that?". Then scoff and roll your eyes. If they don't know what to say, say "that's what I thought" and walk away.

If they started it, try ignoring their insults. People often look for emotion or a response when insulting others, so staying silent might frustrate them into giving up.

That usually means they don't know what to say back. Take it as a win!

Well, honestly, if that happens and you can't think of a good comeback, you're going to get roasted. You can always remove yourself from the situation by walking away. If it turns into harassment, you have a right to file a complaint, or at least point out that this behavior has gone too far. But the key in avoiding this lies in preparation. There are many sentences you can come up with beforehand that apply to just about any situation, that you can say to stop things. Just one example: "Maybe if you ate some of that makeup, you'd be pretty on the inside, too."

A huge factor in comebacks is confidence. So if you don't think it's good enough, don't say it and use it as a learning experience.

Try something like, "What, you're too scared to actually insult me to my face?" If they say something to you not in code after that, use the tips in the article.

Say something like, "Wow, you're even slower than I thought you were," or, "You don't get it? Why am I not surprised."

Think of very embarrassing moments for that person. You can probably remember some since you're family. Then you can say something like, "At least I'm not the person who pooped on the floor in the grocery store!" and just walk away.

Take the insult that your opponent used, figure out what it is that made everyone 'oooooohh', and use that in your comeback.

The best way to not get roasted after your comeback backfires is to have an almost impenetrable comeback. However, if that really isn't possible, you should comeback their comeback.

Try to find their weakness and use that to attack them. Find or think of some ways to target that weakness. At the same time, identify your own weaknesses that he keeps targeting, and find some comebacks for the things he might say.

You can simply say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. Really try to pick it apart.

Don't forget that you don't always have to make a witty comeback. Never let them walk all over you, but if it's too late to make your comeback, then just end the conversation. For example: "Thanks for spending time with me, I appreciate it" or "I would roast you, but my mum said I'm not allowed to burn trash." And then simply walk away from it.

It mostly depends on what you mean by debating. If it is an actual debate in front of a real audience, use the crowd as a tool. One example is, say your opponent makes a stinging insult to you, look at the audience, smile and sarcastically say something along the lines of "Wow! I think (name) just pieced more than 5 words at a time!" and then back up your opinion. When it comes to debates, the crowd's support is really what matters. If its just an argument, its go big or go home, so don't be afraid to use harsh comebacks!

Weight is usually not a thing to joke about. You know you are good looking no matter what they say, and you can tell them that. If you really want a comeback, here’s one I made. “At least my weight can be changed using exercise and a diet. The only thing that will fix your swelling ego is kindness. Try it, you’ll like it!” However, I think it would be much better to get a teacher of boss in the situation. That way, it’s easier to see who’s the more mature one (you).

You can just say "I left you speechless, so you took my words." And you could follow up with "but don't worry it's okay, I expect nothing less from a person like you." Saying this makes them question themselves.

Use light sarcasam. Don't say anything mean. Maybe you could make fun of some one she/he doesn't like? Instead of coming up with something, you could add onto something that your friend said. Or, you could even say something witty in defence of your friend if you're being bullied. Like; "I know you're tired of having to pick on people to get power, but my friend stayed up half the night and didn't look sleepy when she came into class."

Maybe you could say something like: "Sorry, I was just using you as an example for my hairstyle."

Plan ahead! If you're thinking them up on the spot or trying to remember something you saw, you're going to stutter. Pick a few really good comebacks that you like and memorize them, so you'll be ready.