Am I Aromantic?

Take this quiz to find out!

Not sure if romantic relationships are for you?

Aromantic (AKA “aro”) individuals don’t typically experience romantic attraction and aren’t that interested in romantic relationships.[1] There isn’t just one way to be aro, though. The aromantic spectrum includes a wide variety of preferences—for instance, some aro people might not be interested in relationships at all, while others are potentially interested in platonic partnerships. Each and every preference is valid, including yours!

Take this quiz to get a little more insight into your own identity so you can confidently live your truth.

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Questions Overview

1. Do you develop crushes easily?
  1. Nope! I don’t think I’ve ever crushed on someone.
  2. Maybe a long time ago, but nothing recent.
  3. Sometimes. I only crush on people I’m close with or after I have gotten to know someone.
  4. For sure! It feels like I’m always catching feelings.
2. Someone just flirted with you. What’s your initial reaction?
  1. Why is this random person talking to me?
  2. They seem nice enough, but I’m not really feeling it.
  3. They’re cute, but I would like to spend time with them in order to get to know them better.
  4. The butterflies in my stomach just took flight.
3. Which quote do you vibe with the most?
  1. “You haven’t missed your shot at love because love isn’t just one thing.”
  2. “Give your friendships the magic you would give a romance.”
  3. “One doesn't fall in love with a body—they fall in love with a soul.”
  4. “Whatever our souls are made of, theirs and mine are the same.”
4. Can you see yourself flirting with someone?
  1. Not at all. Flirting seems so pointless to me.
  2. Not really—maybe only in specific circumstances.
  3. I might flirt with them if we have a close bond or after I feel connected to someone.
  4. Definitely! If I like someone, I’ll let them know.
5. With 1 being “not likely” and 10 being “very likely,” how much do you identify with romantic stories?
  1. 1-2. I don’t identify with romantic stories at all.
  2. 3-4. I rarely relate to romantic storylines.
  3. 5-7. I vibe with certain types of romantic stories.
  4. 8-10. I see myself in a lot of romantic stories.
6. Do you get butterflies around your crush?
  1. Nope—I can't even remember the last time I even had a crush.
  2. Not really. I don't get crushes very often.
  3. Only if I have a really strong emotional bond with them.
  4. Totally! I always feel nervous when I'm around them.
7. Are romantic relationships a priority to you?
  1. Nope. I don’t need romance to feel fulfilled!
  2. Not really. I don’t see a need for romance, but I won’t rule it out.
  3. Potentially—it depends on how close I am with the other person.
  4. Definitely! Having a romantic partner is important to me.
8. What type of relationship really appeals to you?
  1. A partnership that’s strictly platonic.
  2. A friends-with-benefits arrangement.
  3. A committed, loving partnership with someone I know well.
  4. A romantic relationship with my crush.
9. Are you interested in having a romantic partner?
  1. Nah. It kind of feels like I have to, though.
  2. Maybe. I won’t rule it out.
  3. Possibly—we’d have to have a strong emotional connection, though.
  4. Yes! I’d love to have a romantic partner in my life.
10. Does the idea of being single make you nervous?
  1. Nope! I’m perfectly content going solo.
  2. Not especially. I’m fine being single or being in a relationship.
  3. I’m more concerned about finding someone I “click” with.
  4. Yeah, a bit. What if I can’t find that special someone?
11. Are you cool with kissing someone?
  1. Nope, not at all. That doesn’t appeal to me.
  2. Not especially, but I won’t rule it out.
  3. Yes, but only if I’ve really had the chance to build a connection.
  4. Absolutely! I’m totally fine with kissing someone.
12. Does “love at first sight” make sense to you?
  1. No. Love at first sight sounds bogus to me.
  2. Not really, but I get why some people believe in it.
  3. I believe that love develops over time, not instantly.
  4. I definitely vibe with the idea!

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All About Aromanticism

Aromanticism (along with asexuality and agender) is represented by the “A” in the LGBTQIA+ acronym. As an aromantic, you’re a valid and loved member of this community—and we’re here to break down exactly what that means.[2]

Aromanticism vs. Asexuality

  • Aromanticism involves a lack of romantic attraction, while asexuality involves a lack of sexual attraction. Aro individuals can still find people sexually attractive, and asexual (“ace”) people can find people romantically attractive. Both identities exist on a spectrum—there isn’t a right or wrong way to be aromantic or asexual.[3]
  • Aromanticism and asexuality aren’t one and the same. Only a quarter of aro people also identify as ace. While you definitely can be both, you don’t have to be!
  • Aromanticism is labeled as an “asexual spectrum” (or “a-spec”) identity. Although distinctly different from asexuality, aromanticism falls under the a-spec umbrella. “Agender,” or the lack of a specific gender identity, also qualifies as an a-spec identity.[4]

The ABCs of Aromanticism

  • Aromantic - Someone who experiences no romantic attraction towards other people.
  • Alloromantic - Someone who experiences romantic attraction towards other people.
  • Greyromantic - Someone who falls between being aromantic and alloromantic. They might experience romantic attraction occasionally or only under certain conditions.
  • Demiromantic - Someone who only feels romantic attraction after developing a substantial emotional connection with another person.
  • Aroflux - Someone who seesaws between being aromantic and alloromantic. Some aroflux people tend to stick within the aromantic spectrum, while other people drift in the opposite direction.
  • Recipromantic - Someone who only feels romantic attraction when their feelings are reciprocated.
  • Akoiromantic - Someone who feels romantic attraction but doesn’t need to have their feelings returned.
  • Cupioromantic - Someone who doesn’t feel romantic attraction towards others, but would like to be in a romantic partnership.
  • Quoiromantic - Someone who doesn’t like using “platonic” or “romantic” labels to describe their feelings and experiences.

Relationship Tips for Aro Individuals

  • Set boundaries and be clear about what you want. Let potential partners know what you’re comfortable and uncomfortable with. This will allow you both to understand and know what to expect from a relationship, so you both stay on the same page.
  • Try a queer-platonic relationship (QPR). A QPR tends to be more intimate than a regular friendship without the standards and expectations of a traditional relationship—best of all, they’re extremely inclusive and are viable options for people of all gender identities and romantic/sexual preferences. The boundaries of the relationship are up to you and your partner; for instance, some QPRs add sex to their relationship, while others don’t.
  • Societal expectations can be set aside in order for you to feel like you can be your full self. From TV shows and movies to books and music, society has created a romantic standard for relationships that is hard to ignore. Stay strong! At the end of the day, what matters is being true to yourself and doing what feels right to you, and finding people to support you within the Aro community and outside of it.

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References

  1. ↑ https://www.dictionary.com/e/gender-sexuality/aromantic/
  2. ↑ https://www.aromanticism.org/en/news-feed/coming-out-advice
  3. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/aromantic
  4. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/aromantic

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    Jul 15

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