Should I Text My Crush Every Day? 11 Tips for How Often to Text

Co-authored by Suzanna Mathews and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: April 19, 2024 Fact Checked

Do you have your eyes set on a new crush and want to get the conversation started? Once you have their number, how often should you text them so you don’t sound pushy? If you want to make a good impression and test out your chemistry, there are some simple guidelines to follow. Keep reading to learn when you should text your crush and what you can say to keep them interested!

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1

Text your crush at least 2–3 times a week.

A few days between messages gives your crush time to miss you. Since you aren’t in a relationship with the person yet, it’s okay to have a day or two in between your conversations. When you aren’t texting your crush, they’ll start to think about you more and may even reach out first.^{[1]
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- If your crush is texting you every day, you can match their texting speed to show them that you’re as interested as them.

2

Avoid texting your crush every day.

Your crush probably has a lot of things going on in their own life, so they might feel a little distracted or annoyed if they’re always answering your texts. Giving them some time between your messages gives your crush enough time to do the things they want to and makes them miss you even more.^{[2]
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3

Send fun and exciting messages.

Your crush will be more eager to talk to you if you keep the convo fresh. Rather than only saying “hey” or “what’s up” to start a conversation, bring up engaging topics that get your crush talking. You could share an article they find interesting, ask them a question, or share pics you think they’ll like.^{[3]
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- Before you start texting your crush, think about the overall goal you want to achieve from the conversation and be direct.
- Steer clear of any questions about why they aren’t texting you or how they picture your future together since that could seem pushy.
- You could even send voice messages if you want to send a playful tease to your crush without getting on a phone call.
- Add the word "random" into your message, like "Hey, random thought!" This gives you permission to bring up pretty much anything in your conversation.
- You could also send over a song that you like, or text your crush a funny meme.

4

Wait for a reply before sending another message.

A wall of texts is a little overwhelming and might make you seem a little bit pushy, which could leave a bad impression on your crush. Even though you might be really tempted to send another message if they haven’t responded, try to be patient and give them some time to reply.^{[4]
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5

Take a break from your phone.

Distract yourself so you aren’t waiting by your phone for a reply. Rather than waiting by your phone for your crush to respond, put your phone away and do another activity. Try reading a book, doing your favorite hobby, or going for a walk. Once you’ve gotten some time away from your phone, you might be surprised to see a reply when you check your notifications.^{[5]
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- Your crush will think you have a busy and interesting life when you don’t reply right away, which will make them more interested to talk to you.

6

See if your last text continued the conversation.

Your crush might not reply if they don’t know how to respond to your message. If your last message sounded like the end of the conversation or didn’t give your crush a lot to work with, then they may leave it on read. It’s okay for a conversation to come to an end, and you can always start a new conversation with a different topic the next day.^{[6]
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- Rather than thinking about your crush messaging you back, think about how happy they must have been reading your message.

7

Look at their response times in the past.

Your crush might reply slowly if they don’t like communicating over text. Scroll through your text messages and see how long it’s taken your crush to reply to your messages. If they’ve always taken a little bit of time before responding, then they probably don’t text very much. If it’s taking longer than usual, then it may be a sign something else came up.^{[7]
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- Try not to assume the worst when you don’t get a reply right away. Your crush could just be preoccupied and not able to text back at the moment.

8

Check in after 2–3 days without a response.

It’s okay to send 1 more text if you haven’t heard back from your crush. If it’s been a couple of days, you’ve given your crush enough time to reach out on their own. Rather than blaming them for ending the conversation, just jump right in with a new topic, like asking about their day or if they’ve done anything fun recently.^{[8]
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- “Hey again 😊 hope you’re doing well! How’ve you been?”
- “Just popping in to say hi! Anything exciting going on?”
- “Hi 🙂 you wouldn’t believe the day I just had haha. How are you doing?”
Aziz Ansari, Comedian and Modern Dating Guru

When it comes to texting a new crush, finding the 'sweet spot' can be tricky. Text too often, and you risk seeming overeager; too little, and you may lose momentum. I'd advise touching base a few times a week at first to build rapport, while leaving them wanting more.

9

Try calling them on the phone.

You can judge how your crush feels by the tone of their voice. Texts can be confusing if your crush accidentally misreads the tone of your message, so give them a call instead. If they answer, just have a casual conversation asking about how they’re doing or if they want to get together for a date. Since you can hear their voice, you’ll have a better sense of how they’re really feeling.^{[9]
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- If you can, hop on a video call or meet up face-to-face. You’ll get a better read on how they’re feeling if you can see their face when you’re chatting.

10

Consider moving on after 1 week without a reply.

Your crush might not be interested if they don’t carry a conversation. If you still haven’t heard back from your crush after you’ve reached out again, they’ve probably already moved on. You deserve someone who’s excited to talk to you and wants to hold a conversation, and there are plenty of people out there who’d want to chat.^{[10]
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- It may also be a sign that your crush isn’t interested if they only send one-word replies to your messages.