How to Resist the Urge to Text Your Crush

Co-authored by Hannah Madden Reviewed by John Keegan

Last Updated: January 12, 2024 References

Texting your crush can be fun, but hitting them up constantly can seem a little clingy. Although it might be tough to resist, it’s important to give your crush some alone time (so they can realize how much they miss you, of course). We’ve compiled some of the ways you can stay strong and avoid texting your crush at all costs.

1

Tell yourself to put it off for 10 minutes.

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Trick your brain into thinking you’ll just do it later. Sometimes, it helps to delay something you really shouldn’t be doing. After 10 minutes, tell yourself to put it off for another 5 minutes. Eventually, you’ll lose track of time, and you won’t have texted your crush at all.^{[1]
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- While you wait, try to do something else. This technique doesn’t work quite as well if you’re just sitting and staring at the clock.

2

Put your phone in the other room.

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If it can stay out of sight, it can stay out of mind. Place your phone in your room and close the door behind you. If you can’t reach your phone, then you can’t text your crush!^{[2]
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- Alternatively, you could put your phone in a drawer or even put it on airplane mode.
- This technique works best if you walk away from your phone to go do something else.

3

Text a friend instead.

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Replace the urge to text your crush with a different conversation. Hit up your friend and chat about your day or what you had for lunch. They can help distract you and keep your mind off your love interest.^{[3]
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- If you want to, you could clue your friend in on your struggle. They might be able to help you resist your urge!

4

Hang out with your friends.

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Your friends can help distract you from your crush. If you can, call up a friend and invite them over or go to someone’s house. Tell them that you’re trying not to text your crush, and ask them to keep you occupied so you stop thinking about it.^{[4]
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- If all your friends are busy, try hanging out with your family instead.

5

Do something relaxing.

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Take a bubble bath or listen to soothing music. Spend some time chilling out and relaxing on your own to take your mind off your crush. As you chill, leave your phone in the other room so you aren’t tempted to grab it and send off a quick text.^{[5]
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- You could also try putting on a face mask, reading a good book, or painting your nails.

6

Keep your hands busy.

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You can’t send a text if your hands are full! Head to the kitchen and bake something, do a little digging in the garden, or try finger painting. The more you keep your hands busy and occupied, the less tempted you’ll be to grab for your phone.^{[6]
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- You could also try making slime, making jewelry, or doing a collage.
EXPERT TIP

Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards.

Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
Clinical Psychologist

Resist the urge to text by taking control and setting limits. When you really want to text that person, shift your focus elsewhere. Decide when texting is appropriate and stick to that. This self-discipline builds healthy relating and respects everyone's boundaries.

7

Remind yourself that it’s late.

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If it’s late at night, texting them now might be a little strange. Try to save your texts for normal hours (like when you’d both be awake). Texting your crush late at night can insinuate that you’re only interested in hooking up, so it’s best to save your message for the day time.^{[7]
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- Plus, if your crush is already sleeping, they might not be too happy to get woken up by your text.

8

Ask yourself why you want to text them.

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If you don’t actually have anything to say, don’t text them. While it might be fun to text your crush a simple “hey,” it usually doesn’t lead to a very interesting conversation. Save your correspondence for when you have a fun story to share or you want to ask your crush to hang out.^{[8]
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- Try to imagine what your crush would reply. If it’s not something super interesting, it can probably wait until you two see each other.

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Question

When should you stop texting your crush?

Kristina Mirgorodskaya
Dating Expert
Kristina Mirgorodskaya is a Dating Coach and the Marketing Director of Amiccio, a New York City social app that helps singles make new connections. Amiccio connects singles by hosting parties, socials, beginners salsa, bachata, and tango classes, and speed dating events. With over four years of experience, Kristina specializes in leveraging people skills, cultivating welcoming environments, and intercultural communication. Her expertise allows her to easily bring people together. Kristina earned a degree in business from Baruch College.

Kristina Mirgorodskaya

Dating Expert

Expert Answer

If your crush doesn’t respond after two texts, it’s a clear sign to give them some space. Any more than one follow-up text will not only make you seem desperate but could also annoy the other person if they don’t want to talk.

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Tips

Try talking to your crush in person instead of texting. If you can casually say hey while you pass by them in the halls, you might be able to get an IRL conversation going.

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