This article was co-authored by Collette Gee and by wikiHow staff writer, Amber Crain. Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.
There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Dealing with unwanted advances is always uncomfortable, but if you're feeling unsafe or threatened by the person, it can be downright scary. You may be unsure how to react or what to say, especially if the advances are out of the blue or from a stranger on the street. To help you out, we've put together a list of ways to respond to unwanted advances in a variety of situations so you can be as safe as possible.
Rejecting Unwanted Attention
Use a strong, clear voice to say no. Be assertive and look them in the eyes so there are no mixed signals. Keep your facial expressions neutral so your emotions can’t be misinterpreted. Lie if you need to, and try to get to a safe, public area if you feel uncomfortable or threatened.
Steps
Community Q&A
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QuestionI have a neighbour who is obsessed with me and keeps knocking on my door, posting notes through my letterbox and texting/phoning me. He just will not take no for an answer. What should I do?wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff AnswerwikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerIf you feel unsafe, tell someone you know about what's happening and consider reporting the behavior to the police. You could even take legal action and file a restraining order if the person refuses to leave you alone. -
QuestionMy husband and I hired a reputable handyman. He began making a few too friendly remarks to me which led to a few late calls about little things. I am feeling uneasy, he was shot in the head years ago. What do I do?wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff AnswerwikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerAre you concerned that he's mentally unstable because of the bullet wound he sustained? That's definitely a possibility. You should tell your husband what's going on and stop communicating with this person immediately. Trust your instincts. If you start to feel extremely unsafe, file a police report. -
QuestionHow do I reject a man asking you out who is a lot older than you? Should you say you're underage even though it's obvious or is it safer to not say it?wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff AnswerwikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerYou should probably say it, and loudly. If the person is talking to you online, type it out so there will be documented proof that you stated your age. You should also stop talking to this person immediately. If you feel unsafe, tell your parents or consider filing a police report.
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References
- ↑ Collette Gee. Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist. Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.
- ↑ https://www.ala.org/educationcareers/harassment-resources
- ↑ https://stopstreetharassment.org/strategies/assertive-responses/
- ↑ https://stopstreetharassment.org/strategies/assertive-responses/
- ↑ https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/street-harassment-tips-response-waterloo-region-1.4771759
- ↑ https://stopstreetharassment.org/strategies/assertive-responses/
- ↑ https://www.usf.edu/student-affairs/victim-advocacy/types-of-crimes/sexualharassment.pdf
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1557085119865027
- ↑ https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/other-types/harassment
- ↑ https://now.org/blog/catcalling-is-not-a-compliment/
- ↑ https://stopstreetharassment.org/strategies/assertive-responses/
- ↑ https://www.rainn.org/articles/street-harassment
- ↑ Collette Gee. Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist. Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.
- ↑ Erika Kaplan. Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.
- ↑ https://connectsafely.org/tips-for-dealing-with-teen-sexting
- ↑ https://stopstreetharassment.org/strategies/assertive-responses/
- ↑ https://www.usf.edu/student-affairs/victim-advocacy/types-of-crimes/sexualharassment.pdf
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/harassment.html
- ↑ https://stopstreetharassment.org/strategies/assertive-responses/
- ↑ https://www.rainn.org/articles/street-harassment/