This article was co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Do you feel like you’ve lost the spark in your relationship? How can you tell whether you and your partner are simply going through a rough patch, or whether you don’t love them anymore? It’s normal for romantic relationships to have their ups and downs, but there are tell-tale clues that your fading feelings are more than just a passing phase. We’ve put together a list of 20 red flags that you’ve fallen out of love with your partner–if you can relate, it’s a good sign that your heart is no longer in it. Whether you want to reignite your relationship or you’re ready to let it go, this article will give you the clarity you’re seeking.
Things You Should Know
- If you don’t want to connect with your partner on an emotional level, you may not be fully invested in your relationship.
- When feelings of pride and admiration are replaced by feelings of disdain and irritation, it might be a sign that you don’t love your partner anymore.
- If you don’t want to make plans with your partner, it’s a red flag that you may not see a future with them.
- A change in physical intimacy and PDA may indicate that your feelings toward your partner are more platonic than romantic.
Steps
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat are the signs that someone is not really in love with you?Chloe Carmichael, PhDChloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
Clinical Psychologist, Author of Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of DatingClinical Psychologist, Author of Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of DatingExpert AnswerIf they make promises that they don't keep and constantly avoid or evade conversations about the future of the relationship, that's usually a big red flag. Somebody who's not open to those conversations might not have the depth of feeling that you have or follow the same approach to what a loving relationship is. -
QuestionI feel like I’m falling out of love, but I still love him so much. We really work as a couple, and I don’t want to fall out of love. Is there a way to prevent that?Community AnswerThe key is to spend time together. If you are meant to be together, doing so will feel right, and your relationship will be self-strengthening. Sometimes people who are initially attracted to each other come to realize the attraction is actually weak or merely superficial. Don't remain in a relationship just because you want to be in love.
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QuestionHe can't spare time for me anymore. Instead of spending time with me, he goes on social media to make himself happy. We've fought a lot over that. Am I the one who's being childish?Community AnswerNo, you're being perfectly reasonable. In a strong relationship each partner will strike a balance between their own activities and shared activities. If you've already told him how this makes you feel and he hasn't changed, apparently he doesn't care about your feelings. That means it's time to reassess your relationship and think about a breakup.
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201405/when-its-time-let-relationship-go
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201405/when-its-time-let-relationship-go
- ↑ https://youqueen.com/relationship/the-7-signs-its-time-to-end-a-relationship/
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/g820/how-to-know-your-relationship-is-over/
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/g820/how-to-know-your-relationship-is-over/
- ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/relationships-and-communication
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/magnetic-partners/201803/6-signs-youve-fallen-out-love
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201405/when-its-time-let-relationship-go
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/just-listen/200911/10-habits-happy-couples
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201405/when-its-time-let-relationship-go
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/202101/10-subtle-signs-falling-out-love-someone
- ↑ https://evolutioncounseling.com/resentment-in-relationships/
- ↑ https://www.datingadvice.com/gay/signs-youre-falling-out-of-love-lgbt
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/g820/how-to-know-your-relationship-is-over/
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/g820/how-to-know-your-relationship-is-over/
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/g820/how-to-know-your-relationship-is-over/
- ↑ https://evolutioncounseling.com/the-buildup-of-resentment-in-relationships/
- ↑ https://www.datingadvice.com/gay/signs-youre-falling-out-of-love-lgbt
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/g820/how-to-know-your-relationship-is-over/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201712/7-signs-youd-be-better-ending-relationship
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201712/7-signs-youd-be-better-ending-relationship
- ↑ https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/when-complaining-about-your-spouse-crosses-the-line
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/healthy-relationship.html?ref=search
- ↑ https://youqueen.com/relationship/the-7-signs-its-time-to-end-a-relationship/