Common Signs a Scorpio Man is Playing You (& What to Do About It)

How to handle a Scorpio man who plays the field

Written by Angel Eyedealism | Edited by Finn Kobler

Last Updated: August 12, 2024 Fact Checked

Scorpio men can make great, loving partners. They’re empathetic and willing to put the work in to create long-lasting connections. However, they also have a habit of testing people’s emotions and can have a reputation for being players. In this article, we’ll walk you through over a dozen expert-approved clues that a Scorpio man is playing you. We’ll also offer you advice on how to handle each one, prioritizing your own self-worth while still trying to build the relationship. Keep reading to know how and when the spot these potential red flags.

This article is based on an interview with our astrologer and performance artist, Angel Eyedealism. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

Scorpio men often like intimacy in all forms: physical, emotional, and spiritual; if he’s only interested in you physically, he might be playing you.
It’s a potential red flag if a Scorpio man doesn’t take an interest in your personal life or ask questions to get to know you better.
As a fixed sign, Scorpio men are usually quite reliable; he may be playing you if he’s unpredictable or starts breaking promises.

1

He’s only interested in physical intimacy.

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It’s a potential red flag if all roads always lead to sex. While Scorpio is ruled by Mars (the planet of sex and aggression), Scorpio men are often interested in much more than just a physical relationship. Their investigative and intimate personalities mean they like to connect with their partners and dig deeper on all levels: spiritual, physical, and emotional. If he’s only interested in physical affection, he may be playing you.
- How to handle it: Try going on a physical intimacy break. Take a few weeks off from sex and find other ways to show your affection: make each other gifts, compliment each other, cuddle. If he still seems invested during this break, it’s a sign he’s just a physical person, and there’s likely nothing to be suspicious of.

2

He doesn’t ask any personal questions.

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Be weary if he doesn’t seem interested in you personally. Ruling over the Eighth House of the Occult, Scorpios are inherently curious and their watery natures mean they love to get to know people more deeply. When a Scorpio man is interested, he’ll ask all kinds of personal questions about your life, goals, and fears. If he doesn’t seem invested in you personally, this lack of interest could point to him using you.
- How to handle it: Try asking some personal questions to get to know him better. If he seems open and willing to share, he may just be on the shyer side. However, if he shuts down your questions completely, he may be trying to keep you at a distance emotionally.
- Reader Poll: We asked 508 wikiHow readers to tell us the best way to start a convo with Scorpios, and only 8% of them recommended small talk as a way to connect. [Take Poll] Scorpios are generally known to love deep talks and dislike shallow conversations. If he's keeping it super light with you, that could be a sign that he's not super emotionally invested.

3

He doesn’t introduce you to his loved ones.

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He may be hiding something if he keeps his loved ones separate. As a fixed sign, Scorpios are strong-willed and think in extremes. When a Scorpio man likes you, he’ll want to invite you into all parts of his life. If he seems like he’s keeping you from meeting his friends and family, he may be compartmentalizing your relationship because he’s unsure if he wants to commit.
- How to handle it: Communicate that you want to meet the people he’s close to. Scorpios are ruled by Pluto (which is influenced by fear). This means there’s a chance he may just be afraid of opening up because he’s scared you won’t match his energy. Being clear that you’re all in and want to meet his loved ones can assuage this fear and bring you two closer together.

4

He’s uncommunicative.

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It’s not a good sign if a Scorpio man doesn’t keep in contact with you. As water signs, Scorpios are heavily invested in other people’s feelings, and talking about those feelings is a top priority to them. If your Scorpio man feels uninvested, doesn’t talk much, or leaves you on read for hours, he may not be prioritizing your relationship.
- How to handle it: Practice effective communication by clearly stating that regular contact is important to you. Try to use “I feel” statements so he doesn’t feel attacked. You might say “I feel hurt and insecure when you don’t talk to me” or “I feel used when I share a lot with you and you don’t respond.”

5

He’s unpredictable.

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Scorpio men are usually reliable unless there’s something wrong. As fixed signs, Scorpio men are extremely steady and prioritize security in their relationships. If he behaves erratically or his decisions seem to contradict each other, this could be a sign his trust is wavering.
- How to handle it: Ask him what’s bothering him. Then, try to clarify that it’s a safe space for him to share his feelings. Scorpios are prone to streaks of unpredictability when they feel stressed or depressed. Odds are, there’s a bigger core issue at play. Try and figure out what it is.

6

He makes promises he doesn’t keep.

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It could point to trouble if he doesn’t follow through on commitments. As fixed water signs, Scorpios are arguably the most loyal and reliable and loyal in the entire zodiac. It’s rare that a Scorpio man will ever back out of an engagement without an excuse. If he does, it may point to him having confusing or ambivalent feelings about commitment in general.
- How to handle it: Hold him accountable. If he bailed on you, express your disappointment politely. Just speak calmly and avoid harsh or sarcastic language. You might say “I was looking forward to seeing you. I want to trust you, but when you bail on me, I have a hard time.”

7

He introduces you as a friend.

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Scorpio men won’t hide your relationship status. Ruled by Mars (the planet of aggression), Scorpios are very openly communicative. They lay their feelings bare and often loathe superficiality. If he introduces you to people as a friend, he may truly see you as just a friend.
- How to handle it: When you two are alone and open, ask to clarify the status of your relationship. Share how you’d like your connection to continue, ask for his feelings on the matter, and try to come to a label that works for both of you.

8

He ignores you.

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Something’s up if a Scorpio man is untalkative or indirect. As a fixed water sign, Scorpios are kind of like ice—they can be fairly cold and secretive. However, this ice melts when they feel a natural connection and they become much more devoted, attentive, and open. If you’ve been together for some time yet your Scorpio man remains curt and aloof, this may be a cue he doesn’t see the relationship as worth his time.
- How to handle it: Reach out to see if you’ve done anything to upset him. He may be putting some distance between you because he’s hurt and needs time to cool off. If he continues to ignore you, it’s probably best to walk away and pursue someone who gives you the care and attention you deserve.

9

He refuses to open up.

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Scorpio men can be fickle with sharing their feelings. As water signs, they have a ton of emotions they want to share with the world, but their guardedness often prevents them from communicating early on. If he doesn’t act vulnerable in front of you, it could just mean he’s scared, but it could also mean he doesn’t take you super seriously as a confidant.
- How to handle it: Make it clear he can be himself around you. Embrace your own vulnerability by sharing how you feel, using affirming phrases like “I feel better getting this out,” and encouraging him to do the same.

10

He degrades you.

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It’s unacceptable if a Scorpio man makes you feel disrespected. Ruled by the highly aggressive Mars, sometimes Scorpio men can slip into hostility. This rulership means Scorpios often have dry, harsh senses of humor. However, they’ll never do anything to hurt you intentionally. If a Scorpio man’s jokes feel unnecessarily pointed, insulting, or humiliating, he may be overcompensating because he’s fighting feelings for you. In severe cases, he may also be done with the relationship altogether.
- How to handle it: Stand up for yourself and be clear that you will not tolerate this type of behavior. Establish firm boundaries for jokes and insults, and tell him that, if he crosses them, you will end things.

11

He doesn’t respect your boundaries.

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It’s a red flag if he doesn’t respect your time or space. One of the wonderful things about fixed signs is that they’ll never ask you to change as long as you afford them the same compassion. Since Scorpio men are fixed signs, they’re often keenly aware of your needs and make a concerted effort not to infringe on them. If a Scorpio man doesn’t listen to your emotional, spiritual, or physical boundaries, there may be a core issue of disrespect.^{[1]
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- How to handle it: Ask for some space to reassess your relationship and determine if it’s worth trying to make it work. What boundaries is he crossing? Are they big or small? Does he consistently do this? Everybody makes mistakes, but if he continuously pushes your limits, it may be time to end this potentially toxic dynamic.

12

He uses your empathy against you.

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Sometimes, Scorpio men may weaponize empathy into guilt. Ruled by both Mars and Pluto, Scorpios are adaptable and intuitive, and their watery emotional intelligence makes it easy for them to tug at people’s heartstrings. If your Scorpio man is playing games, he may (intentionally or unintentionally) use your compassion against you. He might bring up past traumas to justify his aloofness and then shame you for pushing for a relationship with all he’s going through.^{[2]
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- How to handle it: Try not to fall into the empathy trap. Recognize that there’s a line between respecting his emotions and enabling. If he’s truly invested in making the relationship work, he’ll try to work through his demons alongside you instead of using them as an excuse to avoid intimacy.

13

He talks about his exes around you.

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He may still be attached to his old flames if he keeps bringing them up. Scorpios are ruled by Pluto, which looks over the unseen, the repressed, and the buried. Because of this, Scorpio men have a hard time letting things go. If he brings up his exes regularly, this doesn’t always mean he still holds a candle for them. However, if his tone seems wistful and/or he compares them to you, he may still be attached to them which is preventing your relationship from truly flourishing.
- How to handle it: Ask him directly if he still has feelings for any of his exes. (Pluto also rules over truth so it’s unlikely a Scorpio man will lie to you.) If he does, it may be best to walk away so he can move on properly. While it may be hard, you deserve someone who can commit to you fully.

Learn How to Attract a Scorpio Man with this Expert Series

Scorpio men are private, mysterious, and occasionally intimidating. We've put together this expert series to help you understand Scorpio behavior and attract the Scorpio man of your dreams.