This article was co-authored by Joshua Pompey. Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.
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Got your eye on another guy, but not sure if he feels the same way about you? Finding out if a guy likes you can be tricky and even a bit scary. However, there are a number of signs you can look for to see if a guy is worth pursuing.
Steps
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Take note if he smiles at you often and makes sustained eye contact. Platonic guy friends don’t shy away from occasional smiles and eye contact. However, if a guy makes prolonged eye contact with you or flashes you lots of smiles throughout the day, he’s being far more intimate than most guys are around each other.[1]
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Look for signs of nervousness. If a guy likes you, he may be incredibly worried about what you’ll think of him. This can lead to a variety of nervous ticks or awkward gestures whenever he’s around you. Some signs to look out for include:[2]
- Sweaty palms
- Awkward laughs
- Flustered speech
- Nervous fidgeting
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See if he steals glances at you. If you think a guy is interested in you, watch him out of the corner of your eye. If you catch him sneaking glances at you often, there’s a good chance he’s attracted to you.
- If he looks away when you turn to face him, take it as a sign that he’s either extremely shy or incredibly nervous about whether or not you like him back.[3]
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Pay attention if he touches you unnecessarily. Guys may high-five, shake hands, or even roughhouse from time to time, but very few get more personable than that. As such, if a guy touches you more intimately than normal, he’s probably trying to kick your relationship up a notch or test how you react to his advances. Take particular note if he:[4]
- Brushes his hand against yours.
- Puts his hands on your shoulders.
- Gives you frequent hugs.
- Finds excuses to touch your hair.
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Consider whether he treats you differently from other guys. Not all guys are showy about their feelings, and some might even hold their emotions back until they know it’s safe. If you think a guy may be interested in you but he doesn’t seem to be dropping you any hints, look for things he does around you that he doesn’t do around other guys. For example, does he:[5]
- Avoid making eye contact with you? If so, he may have a crush on you but is simply too shy to ask you out.
- Act more protective toward you than other guys? If so, he may like you so much that he feels the need to defend your honor.
- Actively flirt with other people while you’re around? If so, he may be trying to make you jealous.
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Take note if he wants to know everything about you. If a guy asks a lot of questions about your personal life, it means he isn’t content with chit chat and wants to get to know you on a deeper level. This may simply be a sign that he sees you as a close friend, but it could also mean that he’s interested in something more.
- Pay extra attention if he starts asking you about your private interests, hobbies, friends, family and, most importantly, feelings.
- If he remembers the things you say and brings them up again, it’s a sign that he’s listening to you intently.
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Notice if he gives you a nickname. A group of guys will often bestow a nickname on a friend when he does something memorable. However, if a guy comes up with a nickname for you on his own, especially if you haven’t done anything remarkable to earn it, he’s making a point of how special your relationship is.
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Make subtle changes to see if he notices. If a guy likes you, there’s a good chance he’ll notice when you change your style or accomplish something you’ve been working on. If he compliments you on these things, or even if he simply notices them, take it as a sign that he’s paying quite a lot of attention to you.[6]
- For some guys, a simple compliment like, “That’s cool,” means quite a lot.
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Pay attention if he teases you or tries to make you laugh. Everybody has a guy friend who’s a perpetual joker and loves the attention of a crowd. However, if a guy seems to tailor more of his jokes toward you, or if he playfully teases you, then there’s a good chance he’s flirting with you.[7]
- If a guy likes you back, he may also laugh more at the jokes you tell, even the ones that aren’t particularly funny.
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Keep track of how often he asks you to hang out. If a guy has a crush on you, he’ll want to spend as much time with you as possible. As such, he may create excuses to see if you want to hang out together. Though a couple hang out requests a month does not indicate a crush, multiple requests a week very well may.[8]
- In particular, pay attention if he asks you to do things 1 on 1.
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Make specific motions to see if he mimics you. When people listen to each other intently, they subconsciously imitate each other’s body language. The next time you’re engaged in a good conversation with a guy you think is interested in you, do specific things like cross your arms, put a hand under your chin, or lean forward. If he follows suit, it means he’s focused on you.
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Sit closer to him to see if he is comfortable with it. The next time you and the guy you think is interested in you hang out together, try sitting closer to him than you normally would. Then, when it feels appropriate, lean in toward him. If he moves away, chances are he’s not interested in you. However, if he gives little to no reaction, or if he repeats the gesture, he very well may have a thing for you.
- If you feel comfortable doing so, try reaching your arm out around his shoulder.
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Brush your hand against his to break the touch barrier. If your previous advances went well, try to break the touch barrier by letting your hand "accidentally" rub up against his. If he moves his hand out of the way quickly, or if he seems put off by the action, then he probably isn’t interested in you. If he doesn’t withdraw his hand immediately, there’s a good chance he likes you as more than a friend.[9]
- If you’re too nervous to touch his hand, try working up to it by touching his shoulder or arm instead.
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Ask if he’s interested in you. If a guy responds well to all your romantic advances, ask him directly if he likes you. Then, give him a chance to think it over. If he is genuinely interested in you, see if he wants to go on a date. If he’s not interested in you, or if he’s not ready for something deeper, apologize for misreading the signs and let him know that you’re fine just being friends.[10]
- When asking the initial question, preface it by stating that you’re picking up romantic hints. For example, you could say, "I'm getting a vibe from you, and I wonder if I'm reading it right. Are we just friends, or is there something more here?”
- If the guy says he isn’t interested, give him some personal space. Things may feel awkward for a little while, but your relationship will eventually return to normal.
- Reader Poll: If you’re struggling to turn a friend down, we asked 386 wikiHow readers who’ve rejected a friend, and 68% of them agreed the best way to say you’re not interested is by being honest and straightforward, but gentle and kind. [Take Poll]
Help Gauging a Guy's Interest
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do guys drop hints that they like you?Joshua PompeyJoshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.
Relationship ExpertIf a guy is interested in you, there's going to be some playful flirting, like eye contact, a playful way of talking to you, or light touches here and there. -
QuestionIf a boy I barely know goes out of his way almost every day to say "good morning" to me while touching my arm with his hand, does he like me?Community AnswerYes, he's going out of his way to greet you and also touch you, he almost definitely has feelings for you.
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QuestionI told the person that I like him. He never said anything, but he is cool with it. What do I do?Nehemiah BordelloCommunity AnswerJust give him some time and space, maybe he's still contemplating it himself.
Video
Tips
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201404/5-secret-powers-eye-contact
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202109/signs-someone-is-nervous-around-you-because-they-you
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/male-body-language/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/male-body-language/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200403/the-art-the-compliment
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201408/how-spot-flirt
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-ask-someone-out/
- ↑ https://digitalcommons.bucknell.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2348&context=fac_journ
About This Article
To tell if another guy likes you, think about if he smiles at you a lot and makes sustained eye contact with you, which could be a sign that he's interested. You should also watch to see if he keeps glancing at you when he thinks you’re not looking, which is also a sign that he likes you. Ask yourself whether he touches you more than other people, like putting his hand on your shoulder, touching your hair, and hugging you a lot, which might mean he likes you. If he asks you a lot about your personal life, your interests, and your feelings, this might also show that he’s interested in you romantically. For more tips, including how to ask a guy if he’s interested in you, read on!
Reader Success Stories
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"I have a bisexual friend who is a guy (I'm a guy, too) who has shown all of the signs. We've been best friends for so long and I think that I'm not just bisexual anymore. I've developed feelings for him too and we have made music with our newfound feelings."..." more