How to Use Body Language to Keep a Guy Wanting More

Co-authored by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Last Updated: January 13, 2023 Approved

We all know the move. You catch his eye and he nods or winks back. He's shown he's interested, so what's the next move? Using your body language to effectively communicate your desire for a guy is something that can be learned and enjoyed.

Steps

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Communicate with your eyes. Your eyes are very powerful when it comes to body language. They can indicate interest, and indicate if he's interested as well. Eye contact increases your heartbeat and helps to release the hormones associated with love or lust.^{[1]
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- Fix your gaze on a guy you're interested in if you're not already acquainted with him or talking to him. Show that you're sizing him up––locking eyes is a sure sign of continued interest.
- Do a face scan. This is a tell-tale sign of interest.
- Darting glances and second looks can help indicate your interest in him.
- Avoid staring; he might go into flight mode. Keep it casual and always smile.
Do just enough to let him see the change in your expression, without it looking forced or overdone. It's important to look amused, not disgusted. But remember not to overreact (they'll think you are too interested).

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But not too much! This makes you seem innocent yet still interested. As you do this glance down or at the other shoulder.
Open your mouth a little more, but not so much that your mouth looks overly wide (too much and you look like a fish gasping for air). This makes you look flattered and also gives the impression that you're a good kisser, which guys are gonna want.
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When your eyes meet with his, move your shoulder forward slightly and then let it drop. Only move your shoulder, and not your whole arm. As you bring your shoulder forward, move your head slightly closer to it. As you drop your shoulder, move your head back up.^{[2]
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- Try looking over your shoulder; this positioning accentuates your curves and invites more attention.
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Once you've glanced at him quickly, look away and continue on with whatever you were doing. This keeps him wanting more and wondering what you meant by flirting with him and then moving on.^{[3]
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- Try giving the guy a quick wink to let him know that you're flirting with him.
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Get close. Once he's started to show interest, make him keener by getting closer. Move near him and touch his hand or the base of his arm or gently squeeze his arm, hand or shoulder while you're talking. Nothing hard, just light, quick touches before withdrawing your hand again.^{[4]
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- Lean in and whisper. Speaking softly will reel him in. He's interested if he moves closer but beware if he moves back from your lean-in; it means he lacks interest.
- If he flinches or tenses when touched, it probably means he's nervous around you, and that you might be moving in too fast! Try to act more relaxed around him.
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Involve your hair. Slowly run your fingers through your hair, stopping at the nape of your neck. Once your fingers reach your neck, either trail your fingers back and forth across your collarbone, or move the pendant on your necklace back and forth. Caressing your body in this way will cause an interested guy to watch intently.^{[5]
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- Watch for his lips parting or touching his mouth with his fingers; you're right in his interest zone once this happens.
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Remember to be yourself. Everyone else is already taken!
- Make yourself look appealing. Acting or looking dumb in front of him when you're actually really smart will make him confused. He will start to wonder if you're all truth or just lies. It's okay to do this in the beginning just to get him to notice or talk to you (in a good way) but once you strike up a conversation, be yourself and act natural!
- Where to look. When you two are in a conversation, stare at his lips and MAKE SURE you are listening to what he is saying too. An instant turn-off is when a guy thinks you are just taking advantage of him.

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How can I tell if my crush likes me back?

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Licensed Relationship Therapist

Expert Answer

If someone is overly curious about you and they ask about your personal life a lot, it could be a sign they're interested in you.

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Tips

Signs he's interested include head tilting, leaning toward you, exposing his wrists to you, touching you, letting his eyes sweep over your face then gazing to the right, stroking his chin (indicates an interest in what you're saying), facing his body to you, and genuinely smiling.

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Each movement should take only a few seconds. You're putting on a show for him, so don't let him get bored. If you take longer, he'll lose interest and look away. You're supposed to be flirting here, don't lose your target!

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Signs he's not so interested in you include: crossing his arms, frowning, moving away from you, rubbing his neck (he might be lying or repressing what he really thinks), feet and legs pointed to the exit, jerking his head, rocking back and forth, avoiding your gaze, fidgeting or tapping his feet, stepping back, and not mirroring you.

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Warnings

If the guy seems to have ABSOLUTELY NO interest in you, don't follow these steps; you'll probably end up making a fool out of yourself. You don't want it to haunt you when you see him or his friends!

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Be careful who you flirt with; not all guys are good. Stay in public and keep with girlfriends when getting to know a stranger for the purposes of a romantic liaison.

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Eye contact isn't just for engaging his interest. Take this opportunity to see just how his eyes appear. If they're glazed or glassy, move on. Also, if he stares at you inappropriately or in a way that makes you writhe, move on; a stranger who doesn't know when to stop staring in a way that makes you feel uneasy is not someone to be hanging around.

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Make sure he keeps interested. If he seems unfocused then you're boring him. Make sure not to overdo it, as there is a thing as too much sugar!

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