This article was co-authored by Samantha Fox, MS, LMFT. Samantha Fox is a Marriage & Family Therapist in private practice in New York, New York. With over a decade of experience, Samantha specializes in relationship, sexuality, identity, and family conflicts. She also advises on life transitions for individuals, couples, and families. She holds both a Master’s degree and a Marriage and Family Therapy License. Samantha is trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS), Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), Emotion Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), and Narrative Therapy.
There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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If you struggle with nightmares and want to learn how to wake up from one as quickly as possible, you’re not alone. Between 4-8% of adults report having nightmares, some as often as once per week.[1] While physically harmless, nightmares can be terrifying experiences and a sign of larger problems with anxiety, trauma, or sleep cycles, especially if they are recurrent. There are ways to escape the experience, however. We’ll teach you how to become lucid, wake yourself up, and get rid of nightmares.
Steps
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Do a “reality check.” The key to forcing yourself to wake up during a troubled dream is, in the first place, to realize that it is not real – that it is a dream. This is called becoming “lucid.” Lucid dreaming requires two things: dreaming and recognizing the fact that you are dreaming.
- The best technique to achieve this is to look, listen, and pay attention to details. Are you in a place or with people that you tend only to see in dreams? Does something not fit? Are you being chased by a monster or having a conversation with a long-dead relative? These are signs that you are dreaming.[2]
- Always follow your reality check with the question, “Am I dreaming?” This will focus your mind squarely on apprehending if you are in a dream.[3]
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Look for “dream signs.” Another related way to become lucid is to look for and recognize “dream signs.” This term was coined by a psychophysiologist named Stephen LaBerge to refer to elements of dreams that hint that you are dreaming.[4] Look around. Do you see anything out of the ordinary?
- Some dream signs will be obvious. Anything supernatural like flying or breathing underwater, seeing alien worlds, or being able to understand a foreign language that you do not know is a dead give-away.
- However, some dreams are incredibly realistic. Pay particular attention to your environment and behavior.
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Decide that, yes, you are dreaming. Sometimes people who are a “pre-lucid” state decide incorrectly that they are not, in fact, in a dream. For example, if you try a “reality check” and pinch yourself but dream that you feel the pinch, you may conclude you are not dreaming. It is only when you have answered positively that you are lucid and able to exert some control over the dream.
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Try to wake up. Once you have achieved lucidity, it is possible to act within and sometimes to control your dream. Acknowledge that it is possible, and encourage yourself to succeed - dreams, after all, are purely psychological so waking up from them is too. First of all, throw your head back and try to open your eyes. Concentrate on waking up. Use as much willpower as you can muster. Don't worry if this fails – in a lucid state you have many options.
- If you want to wake up, read something like a book or a sign. Many people find that they cannot read during dreams or that the text changes. Concentrate on the words and the letters. This usually activates a portion of your brain that is disabled in REM sleep.
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Control the dream. Lucid dreaming allows you to realize that you are in control and often lets you direct a dream. The possibilities are, quite literally, endless. Exert your will toward changing the dream or at least the scenario. You might turn the tables on your nightmare, for example, by shrinking the monster that is chasing you.[5] You might also escape by flying away.
- Try to blink. This will focus your mind on the act of waking. Close your eyes and wait a few seconds before reopening them. Try this several times.
- You might also try to ignore the nightmare. Close your eyes, tightly and try to think about the real world or a different scenario. Think of your bedroom like what is it like when you wake up. Talk to yourself and then try to open your eyes.
- If you can, escape the dream. You might try flying but also teleporting, willing yourself to a different location, running through a wall, or sinking down into the ground.
- Find a lull in the action, close your eyes, and listen to the activity of the dream fade away. If you find yourself on the brink of consciousness, focus hard on the light at the end of the tunnel - the fuzzy shapes of your bedroom - and bring yourself to them. To avoid falling asleep back into the dream, sit up in your bed, blink a few times, and focus on a clock or object.
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Wait out the dream. If all else fails, wait until the dream ends. Human dreaming occurs during Rapid Eye Movement (REM) Sleep, and we typically dream for only about two hours per night, broken up into several REM cycles. Contrary to popular belief, moreover, time in dreams is not compressed. The activity in a dream takes about as long as if it were occurring in real time.[6] All you need to do, then, is to wait anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and the dream will naturally end.
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Reduce your stress. It is fairly normal to have a bad dream once in a while. However, if you find that you are having recurrent nightmares, it may be a sign of an underlying problem in your life. You will have to treat this issue in order to thwart future troubled dreams. Are you very stressed, for example? Excessive anxiety can cause or exacerbate nightmares.[7]
- Try to put your anxieties to rest before you go to bed and practice good sleep hygiene. For example, establish a relaxation routine for the evening. Have a regular sleep schedule. Play gentle music for a couple of hours before bed or take a soothing bath.
- Don’t watch horror movies or read a disturbing book, as these may trigger bad dreams.[8]
- You unfortunately cannot prevent your child from having nightmares. But you can be reassuring and set a similar routine for them. Put them to bed at the same time and make them feel safe, with a soothing bath beforehand, a hug, or a bedtime story. Make bed a comforting place, with their favorite stuffed animal or toy. Perhaps use a nightlight.[9]
- Journal about the feelings that come up in your dreams.[10]
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Learn to have regular lucid dreams. It is possible to teach yourself to have habitual lucid dreams, and therefore to have more control whenever you have a bad one. One method is to envision yourself dreaming lucidly while awake. The idea is to increase your mindfulness and awareness so that, when you do dream, you are more likely to become lucid.[11]
- Another method is called Mnemonic Induction of Lucid Dreaming or MILD. This is done in a waking state. When you wake up, do something active like reading or walking about the room, then lie down and go back to sleep. Then, make a clear intention to resume the dream lucidly, telling yourself that, the next time, you will remember you are dreaming.[12]
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See a sleep specialist or psychologist. Sometimes recurrent nightmares are linked to serious disorders like Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, other mental illnesses, or to problems in the REM sleep cycle. These issues can be treated in a variety of ways depending on your situation, ranging from establishing better sleep routines to therapy or medication.
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“Script” your nightmares. Dream scripting or so-called “imagery rehearsal therapy” is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy. The idea is that a patient, while awake and working with a therapist, rewrites the ending to a remembered nightmare so that it is happy, or at least non-threatening. Then, they rehearse the ending in their minds so that the rescripted dream will supplant the original nightmare.[15]
- Studies show that this type of treatment can significantly reduce the number of nightmares in patients, as well as symptoms of PTSD.[16]
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- Try holding your breath in your dream until you wake up.
References
- ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/27/health/27night.html?_r=1
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-superhuman-mind/201212/lucid-dreaming-and-self-realization
- ↑ http://www.world-of-lucid-dreaming.com/become-lucid-in-dreams.html
- ↑ http://www.lucidity.com/LucidDreamingFAQ2.html#harmful
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dream-factory/201504/confront-your-nightmares-lucid-dreaming
- ↑ https://indianapublicmedia.org/amomentofscience/time-passes-dreams.php
- ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/nightmare-disorder/basics/treatment/con-20032202
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201311/five-steps-conquering-nightmares
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/nightmare.html
- ↑ Samantha Fox, MS, LMFT. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 19 January 2021.
- ↑ http://www.susanblackmore.co.uk/Articles/si91ld.html
- ↑ http://www.lucidity.com/LucidDreamingFAQ2.html#techniques
- ↑ Samantha Fox, MS, LMFT. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 19 January 2021.
- ↑ http://www.aafp.org/afp/2000/0401/p2037.html
- ↑ http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2009/11/16/nightmare-scenario
- ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/27/health/27night.html?_r=1
About This Article
If you have regular nightmares, you can learn to lucid dream to stop the bad dream or wake up from it. You’ll need to do at least 10 reality checks throughout the day to help you get lucid. To do a reality check, ask yourself if you’re dreaming and look for any signs in your environment that you are. One way is to look at your hands and check that you have the right number of fingers, since this will often change in your dreams. In particular, do a reality check whenever you get scared or anxious, which will train your brain to do it when you get scared in your dream. Once you've gotten in the habit of doing reality checks during the day, you'll be able to do them while dreaming. When you know you're dreaming, you can control what happens in your dream. You can change the dream environment so it's more peaceful or lie down and close your eyes within a dream to wake yourself up back to reality. For more tips, including how to avoid having nightmares in the future, read on!
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