10 Signs of Walkaway Wife Syndrome (And How to Stop It)

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The biggest indicators that your wife may be unhappy

Co-authored by Nora Oliver and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: July 19, 2024 Fact Checked

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Walkaway Wife Meaning

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Warning Signs

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Overcoming Walkaway Wife Syndrome

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Expert Interview

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Expert Q&A

When things aren’t quite right in your marriage, it can be concerning to wonder whether or not your spouse is considering divorce. According to the American Sociological Association, women initiate divorce about 70% of the time.^{[1]
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Research source} But how can you tell your wife is planning to leave? In this article, we’ll give you the top 10 signs you can watch for to figure out if your wife is unhappy, as well as tips you can use to fix your marriage. To learn more about walkaway wife syndrome and how to prevent it, keep reading.

Things You Should Know

Walkaway wife syndrome is when a wife suddenly decides to divorce her husband.
Your wife may be considering leaving if she stops having sex with you or doesn’t include you in her plans anymore.
If you’re concerned about your wife leaving, give her the space she needs, but suggest couple’s counseling to work on any issues.

Section 1 of 3:

What is walkaway wife syndrome?

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Walkaway wife syndrome is when a wife leaves her husband suddenly. It typically leads to a lot of questions: why was she unhappy? Why didn’t she try to work things out? What was her breaking point? Walkaway wife syndrome is slightly more specific than divorce, because there’s no buildup to it. Oftentimes, husbands and family members are left feeling confused and upset.^{[2]
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- While the divorce typically seems sudden from the outside, it’s usually not as sudden for the wife herself. That’s why there are actually some signs you can watch for that will let you know if your wife is unhappy enough to leave you.
- Walkaway wife syndrome is also called “neglected wife syndrome” or “sudden divorce syndrome.”
- Despite its name, walkaway wife syndrome is not an actual syndrome or diagnosis.

Section 2 of 3:

Warning Signs of Walkaway Wife Syndrome

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When you walk into a room, you might notice that your wife clams up or doesn’t ask you any questions. Instead of making jokes or laughing with each other, you pass each other by like irritated roommates. This shows a lack of emotional connection in the relationship, which could indicate that your wife is getting ready to leave.^{[3]
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It might sound like a good thing, but when your wife no longer complains, it could mean she’s giving up on the marriage. If someone no longer brings up issues and instead just accepts them, it shows that they are too tired or burnt out to put effort into the relationship anymore.^{[4]
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She doesn’t want to have sex with you anymore. It’s normal for your sex life to ebb and flow during a marriage. But if your wife used to be all over you and now she rejects you all the time, it could be a sign that she’s planning on leaving soon.^{[5]
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- A lack of sex often indicates larger problems within the marriage. It’s possible that your wife doesn’t feel comfortable having sex with you because of your marital issues that haven’t been addressed.
- Reader Poll: We asked 1162 wikiHow readers, and 76% of them agreed that the biggest sign their wife isn't attracted to them is if she's not interested in physical intimacy or sex. [Take Poll]
Maybe your wife agrees to have sex, but she just doesn’t seem that into it. Or, you take her out on a date, but she looks like she’d rather be anywhere else the entire time. She may be going through the motions to avoid a fight or just so you won’t ask her any questions.^{[6]
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EXPERT TIP

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan
Dating Coach

A lack of intimacy can be explained by other things, though. If your wife is being distant, it could signal to a deeper issue, like an unresolved conflict, stress from life changes, or struggles with his personal health.
In a marriage, it’s normal for partners to do sweet things for each other: buy each other coffee, take each other out to dinner, or send each other thoughtful texts. If that has stopped completely, your wife may be feeling burnt out or exhausted, unable to reciprocate any affection.^{[7]
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Maybe she doesn’t seem interested in you or your marriage anymore. She might sit far away from you on the couch, avoid you when you try to kiss her, or insist that “she’s fine” when you can tell she’s not. She could be focused more on the process of leaving you than she is on making the marriage work.^{[8]
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Instead of checking in with you about a fun vacation, she might plan it with her friends or her siblings. Or, she might spend more time on her own doing fun things that she likes without you. Not including you in her plans could mean that she’s preparing for the near future when you two are no longer together.^{[9]
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Perhaps you bring up issues and she doesn’t seem to care. Or you suggest going to couple’s counseling and she says no. If she’s no longer willing to work on the marriage, then unfortunately, she may already have one foot out the door.^{[10]
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Sometimes you can’t quite put your finger on what’s wrong. Maybe you walk into a room and the air feels heavy or you can sense your wife stiffen at the sound of your voice. If your wife just seems off and she won’t share why, she may be planning to leave.^{[11]
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Has your wife changed her grooming habits recently? Maybe she pays careful attention to her hair and makeup, whereas before she was fine running errands without doing much at all. Or, maybe she’s spending lots of time at the gym or purchasing new clothes. These could indicate that she’s getting ready for her new life without you.

Section 3 of 3:

Overcoming Walkaway Wife Syndrome

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Give your wife some space. While your first instinct might be to spend more time with your wife, that could push her away even further. Instead, if you notice your wife pulling away, communicate with her and give her the alone time that she needs. Not only will this show that you’re respectful of her boundaries, but it will give her some much-needed time to think about your relationship.^{[12]
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- Give her space, but don’t give her the silent treatment. Let her know that you’re here and ready to talk whenever she is.
- “I can tell you need some space, and that’s fine. Just let me know if you want to discuss anything, okay?”
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Acknowledge a failure in communication. It’s likely that many of your relationship problems stem from a communication breakdown. Let your wife know that you understand she needs more communication from you, and offer up solutions as to how you can fix the problem.^{[13]
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- “I know I’ve been closed off lately, and that’s probably been frustrating for you. I tend to shut down when I’m stressed, but I promise to work on being more open and forthcoming.”
- “I haven’t been listening to you like I should, and I’m sorry for that. I need to stop brushing you off whenever you bring up actual issues.”
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Apologize for your actions. Reflect on your relationship and take responsibility for any wrongdoings of your own. It’s unlikely that your wife is considering divorce for no reason. If you’ve neglected her emotionally or taken advantage of her, apologize sincerely to her.^{[14]
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- “I know I haven’t been trying very hard for the past year or so, and I’m sorry about that. I know how hard it’s been for you, and I want to apologize for ignoring your needs in favor of my own.”
- “You do so much for this family, and I don’t appreciate it enough. I’m really sorry if I’ve been taking advantage of you at all.”
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Ask your wife how you can support her. Only your wife knows the real issue and how you can help fix your marriage. If you’re not sure, talk to your wife about what she needs from you. Give her a chance to spell out what she’s been going through, then ask her how you can support her and give her what she needs.^{[15]
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- “What can I do to fix this relationship? I’m committed to making it work.”
- “I don’t want to lose you. Please tell me what I can do to make you happy.”
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Go to couple’s counseling. A professional will help you get to the root of your problems and figure out how to move forward. Make an appointment with a couple’s counselor and talk about any changes you’ve noticed in your wife. Then, let your wife talk about why she may be considering leaving and what, if anything, you can do to change her mind.^{[16]
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- If you’re the wife in this situation who’s considering divorce, take your husband up on his offer to go to counseling. Even if you do ultimately decide to leave the marriage, it’s a good sign that your husband is putting in the effort now.

Expert Q&A

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Question

What are the reasons why my partner is considering leaving me?

Nora Oliver
Certified Life Coach & Motivational Speaker
Nora Oliver is a Certified Life Coach & Motivational Speaker based in Boston, Massachusetts. In 2021 Nora started her own coaching business, 10X Nora Oliver, where she offers corporate wellness, divorce, pre-marital, and individual coaching programs, specializing in helping others discover who they are and how they want to live their lives. She is certified in Life Coaching, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Health and Wellness, Nutrition, and Mindset and Forgiveness. Nora is the author of I Needed a Hero so I Became One and Mental Health Nutrition. Nora has her own local TV show which focuses on offering guidance & support to her audience on mental health. Nora was selected as Business of the Month by the Woburn Chamber of Commerce and Best Life Coach of the Year 2022. Nora has been featured in multiple media outlets such as Small Business Congress in Washington D.C., Channel 5 (WCVB), Daily Times Chronicle, Entrepreneur Modul, Fashion Show Host, Behind Bodybuilders, Disrupt Magazine, etc.

Nora Oliver

Certified Life Coach & Motivational Speaker

Expert Answer

I would ask myself questions and then communicate them with my partner. Is it something that I've been doing? Is it something that you both are just not happy with? Take a look at the entirety of the relationship and how it has been; has it been more of a love type of taking care of and being there for one another and respecting? Or has it been more of a strained relationship where one has been working 80 hours a week and the other is taking care of the kids or doing everything? I would ask myself these questions and then communicate.

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