The Early Stages of Dating a Scorpio Man: 13+ Things to Expect

Co-authored by Jessica Lanyadoo and Madeleine Criglow

Last Updated: November 26, 2024 Fact Checked

If you just started dating a Scorpio man, you're probably wondering what to expect. As water signs ruled by Pluto, men born with this sun sign can be highly sensitive, emotional, and a little elusive.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.} Though their raw emotion might be a welcome change in the dating world, it can still be a little difficult to navigate (especially in the beginning). This article is here to help you understand what your new Scorpio man might be thinking so you can respond accordingly and build a healthy relationship with him.

1

He might want you to make the first move.

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If you like him, ask him out. Scorpio men are often surprisingly shy and afraid of getting turned down by the people they like.^{[2]
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Research source} If he flirts with you or seems to enjoy spending time with you, take that as a sign that he's interested and make the first move. He'll be super flattered and probably pretty excited that his feelings are reciprocated.
- If you're not quite ready to ask him out, test the waters by flirting with him. Give him a bold compliment like "You've got a great smile" or "I think you're so cute" to make your affection known.
- When you're ready to ask him out, text him something like, "You seem really cool. Would you want to get drinks or something sometime?" or "I really like talking to you! Would you want to get dinner together this weekend?"

2

He might take his time to open up to you.

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Be patient and open up to him first. As water signs, Scorpios are actually pretty sensitive.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.} They may hold off on being vulnerable to protect themselves from rejection.^{[4]
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Research source} Respect that and hold off on asking super personal questions on the first couple dates. You might also try opening up to him to make him feel more comfortable. If he starts to open up to you in return, that means he's really falling for you.^{[5]
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- If your conversation veers in a more personal direction on the first date, he might change the subject or get uncomfortable. Instead of pressing him to get more answers, go along with a new conversation topic.
- To open up to him and help him relax, try mentioning a funny anecdote from your childhood or fessing up to a nerdier interest of yours. Just don't reveal everything all at once (a few details will be enough).
- You might say, "Did I mention I won a chess tournament when I was 12? I still have the trophy..." or "I have a confession to make. I love playing Magic: The Gathering."

3

He might like it if you wait to get intimate.

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Connect with him on an emotional level first. Scorpios are known for their fiery and unparalleled sex drive, but sleeping with them too soon might make your relationship fizzle out quickly. A Scorpio man that's looking for a relationship likely wants to get to know you better before you get super intimate. Wait a few dates (or however long you desire) so that the two of you can connect on a deeper level.
- When you do decide to get intimate, embrace your sexuality and leave your inhibitions behind. Scorpio men are usually very passionate lovers. Talk about your fantasies openly and ask him what he likes, too.^{[6]
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4

He may be hard to read.

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Approach his hot and cold treatment with patience to win him over. This sign takes their time to decide how they feel about you. Try your best not to take this personally and continue being your awesome self. If you approach his constantly changing treatment with confidence and high self-esteem, he'll realize how wrong he was to ever doubt his feelings.^{[7]
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- He may be super flirty one day and then a little standoffish the next. Try giving him a flirty hello and acting completely unfazed. He'll appreciate that you're still interested in him and will likely come to his senses.
- Scorpios usually act like this because they're super sensitive and afraid of getting hurt. Keep this in mind so that you don't take his behavior personally.

5

He enjoys private, romantic dates.

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Opt for places that give you space to talk one-on-one. A Scorpio enjoys cinematic and classically romantic dates. As particularly intense people, they enjoy a date that pulls out all the stops (candles, mood lighting, roses, etc.). Opt for date ideas that give you a chance to show this side of yourself, too, to really woo your new Scorpio man.^{[8]
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- If you're deciding on where to go for your first date, you might suggest a hot, new restaurant with an intimate back patio.
- For a second date, opt for a romantic stroll through a secluded nature trail or a home-cooked meal with lit candles and low lighting.

6

He likes deep, insightful conversations.

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Talk about philosophy, politics, and anything a little mystical. Even if it’s a casual fling, a Scorpio guy doesn’t do small talk. Bring up topics that give you both a chance to think and really express yourselves. In the early stages of dating, a Scorpio man will be eyeing you to see if you can keep up with his intensity. Show him you definitely can by engaging in a flirty, fiery conversation.^{[9]
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- Bring up philosophical questions on a date with a Scorpio. You might say, "I've always been kind of interested in existentialism. Have you ever read The Myth of Sisyphus?" Even if he hasn't, he'll be impressed and excited to keep talking.
- Text him a link to an interesting article on a political issue. Add the caption, "Have you read about this? I'd love to hear your take on it..."
- Scorpios are known for being interested in the strange, ethereal side of life. You might bring up topics like the paranormal, astrology, or even your favorite horror movies.
- Reader Poll: We asked 610 wikiHow readers who've dated Scorpio men, and only 7% of them agreed that the best way to attract them is by being intelligent and analytical. [Take Poll] So don’t stress if you feel like you don’t know enough about your Scorpio’s interests. Scorpios also value genuine connections, so odds are, he’d prefer you to be yourself rather than trying to change yourself for him.

7

He craves a little bit of mystery.

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Be a little less available to him to really intrigue him. A Scorpio man enjoys the chase. Leave him wanting more by revealing details about yourself at an incremental pace, ending your text conversations first sometimes, and filling up your schedule with other plans. He'll enjoy the thrill of being with someone that's a little hard to get ahold of, especially if you just started seeing each other.^{[10]
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- If he asks you if you've ever traveled, resist the urge to tell him everywhere you've ever been. You might say, "Yeah, I love to travel! My favorite city is probably Toronto."
- Let's say you've been texting nonstop all day. Leave him lusting after you by texting him, "It's been so fun to catch up, but I've got to go hang with a friend. Talk to you soon 😊" He'll enjoy wondering what you're up to and waiting to hear from you again.
- Keep making plenty of plans with your friends and family. If he asks you out and you've already got plans, say something like, "I'm busy tonight, but I'd love to see you later this week!"

8

He needs space to figure out how he feels.

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Give a Scorpio man plenty of alone time. In the early stages of dating especially, a Scorpio man needs to be on his own to decipher his feelings for you.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.} Respect that and give him that space. He'll like the fact that he's with someone that understands his needs.^{[12]
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- He might text you nonstop for a week only to disappear for a few days. Instead of chasing after him, do your own thing, have fun with your friends, and post fun updates on social media. He'll likely see how much fun you're having and reach out.

9

He expects honesty 100% of the time.

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Always be truthful with a Scorpio man. This sign really doesn't tolerate being lied to and will likely be out the door fast if they catch you being dishonest. Do your best to always tell the truth when you're dating a Scorpio man. This will give him another reason to trust you and let himself fall for you.^{[13]
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- Let's say you're friends with your ex-girlfriend. Resist the temptation to hide this from him and be honest! You might say, "Kat and I realized we didn't work as a couple, but we still catch up as friends sometimes."
- If you do lie to a Scorpio man, give him a genuine apology and express your remorse. He still may have trouble forgiving you, but it will mean a lot to him if you take responsibility for your mistake and say that you're sorry.

10

He might be a little intense.

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Approach his moods by remaining cool, calm, and collected. Scorpios are ruled by Pluto, which makes them passionate and even capable of self-destruction at times.^{[14]
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Research source} Since they're also water signs, a Scorpio man might be incredibly sensitive and emotional as well.^{[15]
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Expert Source

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.} Handle their emotions with care by being a shoulder to lean on. It will diffuse his more extreme moods and help him see you as a reliable partner.^{[16]
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- If he mentions that he's upset about work or had a bad day, let him know that you're there for him. You might say, "I'm sorry you had a rough day. Do you want to talk about it?" or "I'm always here if you need to vent."

11

He might put your love to the test.

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Continue to be there for him and you'll pass with flying colors. Sometimes a Scorpio man is so concerned about being left or rejected that he'll test your loyalty to him. He might act difficult for no reason or take forever to get back to you after being super reliable for a few weeks. Keep showing up for him so that he'll get comfortable and realize you're in it for the long haul.^{[17]
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- A Scorpio man might wait hours (or even days) to get back to one of your texts to see if you'll lose interest in him. When he does reply, give him a kind, friendly text back to show him that you still care.
- If he's acting moody, show him that you're not scared of his sensitive, emotional nature. You might say, "I'm having such a good time with you, but it seems like something might be on your mind. Do you want to talk about it?"

12

He wants a partner who’s genuine.

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Show him that you're the real deal. A Scorpio can spot manipulation tactics from a mile away. Nix the games and be honest about who you are and how you feel about him. It will help you forge a deeper connection in the first few months of dating, and he'll be super attracted to your genuine nature.
- Be upfront and tell him that you like him. After a month or so of dating, you might say, "I really like spending time with you. I'd love to really see where this goes and maybe pursue something a little more serious. What do you think?"
- Avoid playing games, like flirting with other people to get his attention. That will likely really turn off a Scorpio.

13

He only commits to a trustworthy, loyal partner.

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Always be faithful to a Scorpio guy. If the two of you decide to be in a monogamous relationship, respect that decision and show your Scorpio guy that you only have eyes for him. Most Scorpios are unwilling to forgive betrayal or disloyalty of any kind due to their sensitive (and sometimes jealous) natures.^{[18]
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- When you're out together, stay by his side and give him your full attention. Listen to what he has to say, make eye contact, and keep your eyes off your phone.
- Even if your partner is a little jealous, remember that it's totally okay to want to spend time with your friends and family. It's healthy and good for your relationship to maintain outside friendships and connections.
- Interested in seeing what wikiHow users have to say about dating a Scorpio? Check out our Is dating a Scorpio hard? forum.

Join the Discussion...

Is dating a Scorpio hard?

79

WikiGladeCatcher583

I went on a date with someone recently and they told me they were a Scorpio and idk if that's a red flag or not. I've heard that Scorpios are obs... Read More

19

WikiPandaTrader571

When I was dating a Scorpio, getting him to open up to me was a chore. He always felt a little closed off when I'd ask him questions about himsel... Read More

35

Angel Eyedealism
Astrologer & Performance Artist

Scorpio is an obsessive sign. They're looking for someone to obsess over and they're going to provide a series of tests to gauge your loyalty to... Read More

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