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If you’re looking to try to be more mature in relationship, that’s so great! Being emotionally mature is the secret to a lasting, intimate relationship—it makes both you and your partner happier. It’s also not as difficult to do as you might think. With the right mindset and strategies, you can make positive changes that will lead to a happier relationship. To help you out, we’ve put together a list of tools and tactics you can use to do just that.

1

Embrace change in your relationship.

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  1. In order to act more mature in your relationship, you have to actively seek out change that will make it happen. Start by opening your mind to the possibility of change. That way, you’ll be more welcoming of opportunities to act more maturely when they appear.[1]
    • For example, you can tell yourself something like, “I’m going to try to find a mature solution before I say or do something.”
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2

Talk to your partner if something is bothering you.

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  1. If you’re feeling upset or hurt, try talking to your partner honestly and openly about it. Stay calm and simply express yourself instead of keeping your emotions bottled up. It can make you feel better and it’ll bring you closer to your partner.[2] [3]
    • For instance, if your partner said or did something that made you feel upset, try saying something like, “Hey, I just want you to know that it hurts my feelings when you talk to me like that.”
3

Use "I" phrases instead of “you” phrases.

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  1. Talk about how you’re feeling or about how something your partner does makes you feel. Try not to put all of the blame for something on them and avoid using absolutes like “always” and “never.”[4] It’s just not a healthy way to communicate with your partner.
    • For instance, say, “I feel like I’m not being supported right now” instead of “You never support my dreams.”
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5

Look at things from your partner’s point of view.

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  1. Put yourself in their shoes and can help give you more perspective about your relationship. Think about how something might make them feel or how a situation might be affecting them. Use their perspective to help inform your own decisions and behavior.[5]
    • For example, if you’re upset that your partner forgot to fill the car up with gas before they got home, try thinking about what was going on with them. Maybe they were in a rush to get back to help you with something, or maybe they just had a rough day at work.
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6

Ask your partner how they feel if you aren’t sure.

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  1. You aren’t a mind reader! And really, you can’t always assume you know what’s going on with your partner, no matter how long you’ve been together. If they seem like something is bothering them, don’t just let it slide and ignore it. Pay attention to any cues they’re giving you and ask them of they want to talk to you about what’s bothering them.[6] [7]
    • Encouraging your partner to express themselves also cultivates trust and understanding in your relationship.
7

Accept criticism and feedback with an open mind.

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  1. View honest criticism not as a personal attack but as a chance to improve. It’s a gift to find out the truth about yourself, especially if it’s coming from a place of love and support. Look for the truth in any criticism you receive and use it as fuel and motivation to keep growing and improving.[8]
    • For instance, if your partner tells you that by refusing to go to their special events or visit their family hurts their feelings, don’t get defensive or brush them off. Instead, listen to what they’re saying.
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8

Own your mistakes.

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10

Choose to love your partner in spite of their flaws.

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  1. The truth is, nobody’s perfect—including you and your partner. If they make mistakes or they do something that makes you upset, do the mature and responsible thing and support them. You’d want them to do the same for you and loving them unconditionally is much more mature than getting into an argument every time they do something that you don’t like.[11]
    • For example, if your partner forgets to pay the phone bill or something like that, don’t blame them or get angry over their mistake. Instead, tell them you’ll help figure it out and it’s not a big deal.

How Can I Be an Adult In a Relationship?


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Tips

  • If you’re having trouble trusting your partner or making mature changes, try talking to a couple’s therapist about it. They can give you tools and strategies that can help.
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Warnings

  • Never shout or become physically aggressive with your partner. If you’re struggling to control your emotions, anger management or counseling can really help.
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About This Article

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Co-authored by:
Psychotherapist
This article was co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is the author of “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues” which details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each. She is also the award-winning and best-selling author of “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and was a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida. This article has been viewed 60,289 times.
68 votes - 96%
Co-authors: 9
Updated: September 28, 2024
Views: 60,289
Categories: Relationships

Medical Disclaimer

The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 60,289 times.

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