How to Act Silly with Your Boyfriend

Co-authored by Erika Kaplan

Last Updated: February 5, 2024 References

Silliness isn't just reserved for five year old kids--it's important for older people, too. In fact, a little silliness can make for a happier, stronger relationship.^{[1]
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Research source} To bring out your silliness around your boyfriend, don’t be afraid to be your genuine, goofy self. Start a food fight or a tickle war. Joke around with crazy selfies, playful teasing, and a funny nickname or two.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Getting in a Silly Mood

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Embrace your unique personality. To act silly around your boyfriend, stop worrying about what he thinks. Commit to being yourself instead of trying to change your personality for him. If he doesn’t appreciate your genuine personality, he’s definitely not worth your time.^{[2]
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- Make a list of all your strengths, and read it daily to give yourself a confidence boost.^{[3]
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- When you’re feeling unsure, stop for a moment and remember a time when you felt super confident. Try to recall the sights, sounds, and smells of that moment. Bringing yourself back to a moment of high confidence can help you feel more confident in the present.^{[4]
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- Listen to some confidence-boosting jams! You can even make a “confidence playlist” to psych yourself up.^{[5]
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Be present. Part of being silly is being completely present. Instead of worrying about being funny or saying the right thing, focus on having a great time with your boyfriend.^{[6]
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- If you feel yourself starting to worry, focus on your breathing. Then, bring your attention to what you see, feel and hear around you.^{[7]
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- Notice your boyfriend’s smile, the feeling of his hand in yours, and the sound of his laugh.
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Be more spontaneous. If you feel the urge to do something silly, do it right away. After all, being silly is about letting go. The longer you wait, the more likely you are to hold back.^{[8]
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- If you’re sitting by the lake, start a splashing war!
- Propose an impromptu game of hide-and-seek or tag.
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Don’t take things too seriously. While there’s definitely a time for seriousness, there’s also a time to laugh and be goofy. Not every conversation with your boyfriend needs to be deep and emotional. Having silly, lighthearted interactions is important for a strong relationship, too.^{[10]
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- Don’t take yourself too seriously, either. It’s ok to act like a fool sometimes. In fact, it can actually be pretty fun!

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Playing Games

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Have a wrestling match. Challenge your boyfriend to a wrestling match, or surprise attack him from behind! Have fun with it, but keep the fighting under control. You don’t actually want to hurt each other.^{[11]
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- Pretend to fight in a specific fighting style like boxing, martial arts, or sumo wrestling. Take turns being the announcer.
- If your boyfriend is much stronger than you, make a few rules to level the playing field. For example, you could make him fight with one of his arms behind his back.
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Plan a surprise pillow fight. Next time you’re lounging on the bed or couch with your boyfriend, grab a pillow and whack him. Next thing you know, you’ll have a full blown pillow war.^{[12]
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- Choose a great weapon! The best pillow-fight pillows are soft and filled with down, polyester, cotton, or wool.
- Play King of the Ring. The first person to fall off the bed or couch loses.
- Try Pillow Ninja. Hold one pillow in each hand, and whack each other. If you drop one of your pillows, you lose!
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Have a dance party. Turn on your favorite jams and have a dance party! You can do a silly partner dance, or have a dance off. Don’t be afraid to bust out all your hilarious dance moves.^{[13]
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- Try playing a dance video game together, like Dance Dance Revolution or Just Dance.
- Watch a video of professional dancers and try to copy their crazy moves. Put your own spin on a Dancing with the Stars performance and let the hilarity ensue.
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Play with your food. When you’re baking cookies in the kitchen with your boyfriend, blow a little flour on his nose. When he blows some back at you, throw a couple of chocolate chips at him. Let the food fight commence!
- Play catch with your food. Throw him a few jellybeans or grapes and have him try to catch them in his mouth.
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Start a tickle war. Ambush your boyfriend in the middle of a movie with a tickle fight! The two of you will be doubled over in laughter in seconds.
- Find his most ticklish spots. Try his ribs, tummy, armpits, and even the soles of his feet.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Joking Around

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Give him a funny nickname. The options are endless. You could pick nickname that reflects a funny habit of his, or one that’s hilariously mismatched.^{[14]
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- If your boyfriend is has an intense obsession with Star Wars, call him Chewbacca.
- If your boyfriend is a super tall, call him Tiny.
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Do some gentle teasing. Playful banter is flirty and fun. Make fun of one of his quirks, do a light-hearted imitation, or give him a backhanded compliment. Keep the teasing gentle and fun. His insecurities shouldn’t be the subject of your jokes. Stop right away if he looks upset or asks you to stop. Hurt feelings are certainly not funny.^{[15]
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- Say something like, “Wow, you’re not so bad at cooking for someone who lives on Ramen noodles.”
- If he has a crazy laugh, do your best impression.
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Take goofy selfies. Make your weirdest faces and snap a ton of selfies. Try to recreate famous photos or paintings, or use Snapchat filters to make your photos even more bizarre. Then, look through them together and appreciate your silliness.
- Send your boyfriend one of these goofy photos a few weeks later with a text like, “Why are we so attractive?”
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Act out a scene from your favorite movie. Put on the scene, turn down the volume, and do your own interpretations of the dialogue. Don’t be afraid to be ridiculous--the sillier, the better.
- For a hilarious contrast, do goofy dialogue for a super intense romantic scene.
- Use foreign accents to spice up your scene.
Grab his hat off his head, swipe a shoe, or snatch a cookie off his plate. Give him a playful smile, and dash away. Use furniture for cover as you dodge him.

Expert Q&A

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Question

How can I get more comfortable being silly around my boyfriend?

Erika Kaplan
Matchmaker
Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.

Erika Kaplan

Matchmaker

Expert Answer

It's all about building your mutual experiences up. Go out and just do a bunch of different things together. The more you get used to one another's patterns. The more time you get to spend with one another, the easier it will be to open up when the vibe is right.

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How can I be playful?

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

Connell Barrett

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try playing games with your partner so you can both show off your fun sides.

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My boyfriend often seems to be depressed. How do I make him feel better?

Community Answer

Start by talking to him about his feelings. Don't force him to share, but let him know you're there for him if he wants to talk. You can do little things for him that make him happy, like baking his favorite dessert or having a surprise date night. If his mood is getting worse or interfering with his daily functioning, he may have clinical depression. Talk to him and his family immediately so he can get the help he needs. Check out wikiHow's article on helping someone with depression for more information.

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Tips

This works best with easy going guys. Be aware that your guy might not be into it.

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Warnings

Some of these things might turn guys off. Make sure he likes what you're doing before you take it too far.

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Don’t be pushy or annoying. This stuff isn’t funny when only one person is in the mood to be silly.

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Many of these silly jokes and games should be done when the two of you are alone to avoid embarrassment.

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