How to Get Your Boyfriend's Attention

Co-authored by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD

Last Updated: October 2, 2023

When your boyfriend neglects you, it's the worst! Fortunately, there are a lot of simple ways you can recapture his attention and rekindle the passion in your relationship. Check out the expert tips below to learn how to stop your boyfriend in his tracks and get the attention you deserve.

1

Be bold.

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Instead of waiting around for him to notice you, take charge of your relationship. You can live boldly in several ways. Talk to your boyfriend and let him know what you want and need to feel satisfied with your relationship. Step up to the plate and show your boyfriend how you wish to be treated. Lastly, step away from the relationship if he can’t fulfill your needs and focus on you.^{[1]
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- Plan a surprise date for him.
- Pop-in on him at work or at home.
- Surprise him with a suggestive gift.
- Make plans with your girlfriends.

2

Act confident.

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Confidence is extremely attractive. Work towards accepting that you are a strong, independent person. As you develop more confidence, feel free to take charge of your relationship.Tell him what you want to do and when you want to do it. You can develop confidence by:
- Working out—you will feel stronger a more self-assured
- Completing a project—you will feel accomplished
- Tackling a new skill—you will feel adventurous and intelligent

3

Change up your look.

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Drastically changing up your signature look is a surefire way to capture his attention. The change will catch him off guard and hopefully intrigue him enough to renew his interest in you. Options to consider include:
- Dying your hair a bold new color
- Opting for a natural look instead of wearing a lot of makeup
- Getting bangs
- Dressing in all black^{[2]
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4

Wear a new outfit.

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You’ll certainly catch his eye in an outfit that accentuates your best features. While the outfit should be alluring, it doesn’t have to be risque. Dressing in something that makes you feel attractive will also make you feel more confident. Remember, confidence is a very desirable trait and an excellent accessory too. Exchange your everyday clothes for something a little edgier and sexier:
- Swap your tennis shoes for heels
- Wear form fitting clothing
- Pull up your hair to draw attention to your neckline
- Show a sliver of skin or bare your midriff^{[3]
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5

Make his favorite dinner.

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Food, especially his favorite food, is an excellent way to capture your boyfriend’s attention. Spend the afternoon making his favorite dinner from scratch. He will appreciate all of the time and effort you put into making a delicious meal for him.
- If you are not a cook, take your boyfriend out to his favorite restaurant and treat him to a decadent meal and dessert. Alternatively, you could sign up for a couple’s cooking class or make the meal together at your house.

6

Express an interest in his favorite hobby.

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Does your boyfriend devote more time to his hobbies than to your relationship? Instead of complaining about his interests, make the effort to join him in these activities. This will allow you to spend time together and to bond over an activity that he is passionate about.
- Play Pokemon Go! with your boyfriend
- Sit in the stands at his sporting events
- Attend his musical performances
- Learn his favorite board game or video game
- Volunteer with him at an organization he is passionate about

7

Be adventurous together.

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Invite your boyfriend to step outside of your comfort zone with you. Your desire to do something out of the ordinary, like skydiving, will capture his attention and return his focus to you. The thrill you’ll share as you try something new and risky will rekindle your romance too.
- Ask him to go cliff jumping with you
- Invite him on a rustic camping trip
- Act out his romantic fantasy (or yours)^{[4]
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8

Spend time on your own.

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Don’t devote all of your energy to getting his attention. Step away from the phone and him for awhile and take some time for you.
- Stop contacting him. Eventually, he will notice that you’ve been contacting him less. If this concerns him, he will step up to the plate and start pursuing you. If he isn’t bothered by your lack of attention, he might not be worth your time.
- Go on a trip without him. You don’t need your boyfriend’s permission (or company) to go on an adventure. Plan an adventure that doesn’t include him. You could plan a girl’s weekend or a family vacation. If you’re feeling adventurous, take a trip by yourself. You absence will capture his attention.^{[5]
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9

Spend time with friends and family.

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If you prefer to spend your free time with others, turn to your friends and family members. Concentrate your energy on building a stronger relationship with these integral members of your support system. Instead of asking your boyfriend to hang out, ask your friends and family members to set aside some time for you.
- Invite your friends over for a movie night.
- Go to the spa with your mom.
- Ask you siblings to cook dinner with you.
- Take a day trip with your bestie.
- Rent a cottage with your extended friend group.
- Host a DIY night^{[6]
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10

Find a new hobby.

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Taking up a new activity is a good distraction and can help you gain confidence. New activities push us out of our comfort zones and force us to grow. Whether you choose to take up sewing or swing dancing, use this activity to remind yourself that you have value outside of your relationship.
- Join a book club
- Learn a new language
- Join a yoga class
- Practice meditation every day
- Take on a new project at work.

11

Talk to your boyfriend about how you're feeling.

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Initiate the conversation with a statement that plainly describes the issue you are having. Do not attach any feelings, interpretation, or blame to the statement. State it as a fact, not an option.
- For example, "Mike, we haven't spent much time together lately" or "Rowan, we aren't connecting like we used to." ^{[7]
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12

Ask him to change his behavior.

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Once you've explained how you feel, it's time to ask him to take action. Think of what he needs to do to make you feel differently about the situation.
- For example, "Mike, I would really appreciate it if you would make time to hang out with me" or "Rowan, I know you are busy with practice and we can't see each other much during the week. Will you try to call me on your way home for practice everyday so we have a chance to catch up?"^{[8]
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Overcome Dating Challenges with this Expert Series

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1

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2

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3

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4

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Question

Should I be worried if he doesn't text back?

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD

Licensed Psychologist

Expert Answer

Find out if he's doing something else that keeps him too busy to respond. While you may think he's ignoring you, he might be at work and is unable to stop to respond to a message or pay attention. Often, feeling ignored is a perception issue, and it might help to reconsider it from his perspective.

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Tips

Smile. Your smile is your best weapon, and gift.

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Flirt with him, even though you are already dating, flirting is still fun and cute and he'll love it.

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Have inside jokes with him. It is something more intimate and fun that you guys can bring up and laugh about to no end.

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Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

If his attention isn't what you want, talk to him about it. Be clear about your wants and expectations.
Be yourself and don't put him before your friends. Be truthful and kind with each other.

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Warnings

Don't become someone else just to capture his attention.

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Don't flirt with other guys to get his attention.

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