How to Ask a Girl Out over Text for a Long Distance Relationship (10+ Tips to Shoot Your Shot)

Co-authored by Imad Jbara

Last Updated: July 15, 2024 References

Text messages can be a great way to stay in touch with someone even if they live super far away from you. If you’ve got a good thing going with a girl and you’re messaging each other back and forth, why not give it a shot and ask her out? It may be easier than you realize! To help you do it, we’ve put together a handy list of tips and ideas about what you can say to increase your chances of getting her to say yes.

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1

Start with texts that will make her smile.

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Be playful and keep it lighthearted. Send her something funny or sweet to get the conversation started. Start things off on the right foot by putting her in a good mood so she’ll be much more open to the idea of going out with you.^{[1]
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- You could try, “Hey there pretty lady. How’s your day been?” or “You’ve been on my mind all day so I figured I’d text you. How are you?”
- You could also try sending her a funny meme and say, “I thought you might like this.”

2

Try asking her for advice to get date ideas.

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It’s also a great way to set up asking her out. If you aren’t completely sure what she’s into or if you’re looking for date ideas, try asking her for help. Tell her you’re looking for something you think she might be interested in and if she has any suggestions.^{[2]
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- You could try, “I know you love sushi, it’s like all you talk about! Do you have a favorite restaurant in your city?”
- Another option is something like, “Do you know any good wing spots around you? I know you like it spicy!”
- It doesn’t have to be food-related, though. You could try, “I was thinking about going hiking when I come to town. You’re into the great outdoors, know any good places?”

3

See if she’s down for a virtual dinner date.

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Have dinner without leaving your home! Ask her if she’d like to have dinner with you at the same time and you can pretend like you’re at a restaurant together. Use an app like FaceTime, Skype, or Zoom to do a video call while you eat together.^{[3]
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- You could try, “Since we’re so far away, why don’t we do a video call at 7 and we can eat dinner together at the same time!”
- You could even exchange recipes so you’re both cooking and eating the same thing.

4

Try watching a movie together virtually.

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Netflix and chill, even from a distance. Offer up the idea of watching a movie together at the same time. If she’s interested, pick out a movie together on a streaming app like Netflix or Hulu. Set a time for you guys to get on a video call together on an app like Facetime or Zoom and start the movie at the same time!^{[4]
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- There are even apps like Google Watch Party that allow you to watch the same movie or show together while you’re on a video call.

5

Suggest a coffee date to keep it casual.

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It’s a low-pressure way to ask her out. Who doesn’t like coffee? Plus, if you’ve only been texting her, it could be a great opportunity to meet face to face without the high stakes of a formal date. Try asking her if she can meet you for coffee when you’re in town.
- You could try, “Hey! I’ll be visiting my cousin in a few weeks. You wanna grab some coffee?”
- If she happens to be visiting your area, you could try, “Awesome! Let’s get together and grab a coffee.”
- Reader Poll: We asked 1984 wikiHow readers about which first date they’d like to go on the most, and only 8% said going rock climbing. [Take Poll] So, suggesting a more casual activity, like grabbing coffee, might be more fun for her.

6

Plan an in-person dinner date if you can.

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Pick out a great first-date spot. If you plan to be in her area, or if she’s visiting near where you live, try asking if she’d like to grab dinner with you. Pick out a fun dinner spot with food that you’ll both enjoy and set a date and time to meet up. If she’s into it, she’ll say yes!^{[5]
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- You could try, “So, there are some really great Mexican restaurants around here. Would you want to come check one out with me when you get to town?”
- You could also try, “I used to love going to this burger joint when I was a kid. I haven’t been there in ages. Would you want to come with me when I come to visit?”

7

Visit a museum or an art gallery.

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Go with a more cultured approach if she’s into it. If she’s a fan of art, paintings, or history, a museum is a great choice. Look for some in her area if you’re visiting near her, or pick out some cool ones around you if she’s coming to your area. Ask her if she’d like to check it out with you.
- Try, “I know you’re into cocktails, and there’s this really cool museum all about their history if you want to come check it out with me.”
- You could also try, “There’s a great Alexander McQueen exhibit going on at the museum in town. You wanna go with me?”

8

Ask her if she’d like to join in on your plans.

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Try going with the direct approach. Don’t stress about whether or not she’ll say yes. Just calmly ask her if she’d like to come with you if you already have a planned event or party. Keep it super simple so there’s no confusion.^{[6]
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- For instance, you could try, “I’m coming to town for a friend of mine’s wedding. Do you want to come as my date?”
- You could also try, “I’m visiting my parents later this year, would you want to come along with me?”

9

Work out the details if she says yes.

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Have fun planning out the date with her. Congratulations! You’ve done it. Talk to her about the logistics of getting together, which may be a little trickier and require more planning since you don’t live near each other. Coordinate travel plans and set a date and time to get together.^{[7]
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- For instance, you could try, “Great! I get into town on Sunday the 18th. Wanna get together then?”

10

Be cool and accept it if she says no.

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You don’t want to ruin any future chances by getting upset. Maybe she’s not open to the idea of a long-distance relationship, or maybe she’s just not interested right now. Whatever her reasons, it’s important that you accept her answer. Stay calm and tell her it’s no problem. You can still keep texting her, and who knows, maybe one day she’ll be more open to the idea of going out with you.^{[8]
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- Try something short and sweet like, “No worries! Just figured I’d ask.”

11

Verify her info if you’ve never met her before.

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Make sure she’s not pretending to be someone else. “Catfishing” is when someone pretends to be someone they’re not in order to get closer to someone. If she has a social media or dating profile, run her profile picture through a reverse image search on Google to make sure it’s legit. Take a look through their social media to see if it’s real and doesn’t look fishy or like a bot account.^{[9]
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- Don’t give someone your bank account or financial information if you don’t really know them.

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Tips

If she’s had a bad day or is super distracted, you may want to wait for another time to ask her out. She might be more open to it.

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