How to Attract a Bad Boy

Co-authored by Nicole Moore

Last Updated: June 7, 2024 Approved

Bad boys are known for their free spirit, edgy good looks, and irresistible charm. If you have your heart set on a bad boy, you're probably wondering what you can do to attract him and win him over. To help you out, we've compiled all of the best, proven strategies for winning a bad boy's heart, from flirting tips to ways to keep him hooked.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Catching His Eye

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1
Make eye contact — and then break it. If you want to get a bad boy's attention, then you have to show him just a tiny bit of interest before letting him see that you've got better things to do. Just look at him for two seconds — try looking down and looking up through your lashes for an extra sexy effect — and then turn away.^{[1]
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Research source} Stare at him long enough to make an impression but not for so long that you look like you really care whether or not he likes you.
- Bad boys like those individuals who want to give them a run for their money. They don't want people who fawn all over them or give them their heart right away.
- Once he notices you, turn away. That should give him enough incentive to pursue you. Of course, you can also take the initiative and pursue him first.
- Bring up short, attention-provoking things to a guy and then walk away as if you are busy and have something else to do. For example, you can tell him that you saw him in your dream and leave him wondering what happened in the dream.
- If you are in a group and he is there, do not engage too much in the conversation. Instead, stand there with a mysterious smile and let him wonder what is in your mind.
2
Stand out to him. Bad boys don't go for thos3 who blend in with the crowd.^{[2]
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Research source} They go for those who don't quite fit in, who are worth a second look, and who don't try to look, act, or dress like everyone else. If you have a funky fashion sense, stick to it. If you have an unusual laugh, don't hide it. If you love sketching, playing the harmonica, or practicing karate, let him see what you love to do and don't be ashamed of it.
- Bad boys want people who know what they're about. If you look like everyone else and have nothing special going for you, then he won't be impressed. If you stand out, even if it means you're not like most people, he'll be even more into you.
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3
Don't be intimidated.^{[3]
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Research source} A lot of people are intimidated by bad boys because they think they're too cool to give them a second of their time. If you want to attract one of them, the best thing you can do is to show them that you're not afraid of them at all. Think of it like coming face-to-face with a bear or a lion; the second you show fear, you'll be destroyed. If he comes up to you, don't back away and stand even taller instead. If he tries to interrupt you, then let him know you're not finished speaking and say what you have to say.
- Bad boys are used to those who bend at their will. If you stand up to him and let him see you as an equal, then he'll be truly impressed by you.
4
Do your own thing. Bad boys don't like those who do what everyone else is doing. Just because all of your friends are taking Art History, take The History of Motorcycles, if that's what you're into. If all of your friends love Taylor Swift, have pride in your love for The Stones or more indie bands like Bottomless Pit. If the crowd is lining up to see the latest Will Ferrell movie, go for the indie flick you've been meaning to catch instead.^{[4]
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- Though you shouldn't be quirky or different just for the sake of being different, if there's something different that you would genuinely like to do, then you should go for it.
5
Ignore him a little bit. Bad boys don't want people who fawn all over them. Instead, they're looking for chicks who can take them or leave him. If you start talking to him and are clearly having a great conversation, you don't have to run up to him and give him a big hug the next time you see each other. Instead, give him a few minutes to come up to you and make him work for it. If he texts you or chats you, give it a few minutes before you get back to him. Let him see that you have better things to do than to wait for him to talk to you, and he'll want to talk to you even more.
- Of course, you should be careful and make sure that you don't ignore him so much that he doesn't think you're interested. Find a balance between looking interested and making him work for it a bit.
- You don't need to be rude to do this. If he comes up to you and says hello, you shouldn't ignore him, but if he walks by, you don't have to act like you've been waiting for him to come by and have been looking for him for hours.
6
Play hard to get. Bad boys love it when people play hard to get. If they feel like they can have you any time they want you, then they won't want to work for it. Instead, let him know you like him by flirting a bit or giving him a compliment or two, but don't put it all on the line. Let him reveal his feelings well before you do, and don't accept every invitation he gives you; make sure he asks you out at least a week in advance so he doesn't think your schedule is wide open and knows he has to work for your time and attention.^{[5]
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- If he calls you, don't answer the phone on the first ring. In fact, give it an hour or two and call him back. If he texts you, wait at least half an hour to respond. You don't want him to feel like you're just sitting around waiting to hear from him.
7
Keep your friends out of it. Bad boys hate those who cling to their friends and care too much about what they think. If you want to start a relationship with a bad boy, then you shouldn't let your friends hang around too much until you get to know each other better. You should also avoid saying, “My friend thinks that…” when you talk about your relationship, or you'll make him feel that your friends are way too involved in your personal life. When it comes down to it, bad boys really want people who think for themselves.
- You should also avoid having your friends talk to the bad boy for you. If you really want to win him over, then you have to do the work yourself.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Keeping Him Hooked

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1
Wow him with your confidence. True bad boys don't want people who they can boss around. They want people who are confident enough to stand up to them and to believe in their relationship without questioning them every two seconds. If you want to keep your bad boy hooked, then you have to wow him with your confidence, showing him how happy you are with how you look, who you are, and what you do. Work on projecting a positive energy that shows that you're content with being yourself and don't need anybody for validation.
- Focus on the positive and talk about the things that make you happy instead of complaining about things that aren't perfect.
- Don't gossip about others or you'll look insecure.^{[6]
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  Research source} Instead, praise them and the bad boy will be impressed.
- Avoid seeking validation.^{[7]
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  Research source} Don't act like you're only beautiful or smart or interesting if he says so.
2
Take charge. To keep your bad boy interested, you should take charge of the relationship. Don't let him make all the calls, tell you where and when you'll be going on your date, or be the one who calls first all the time. Show him that you know what you want and that you won't go on a date last-minute because you've made other plans; don't let him take you to a bike show if you'd rather be out to dinner, and don't make him think that he has total control over you or he'll lose interest pretty fast.^{[8]
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- You don't have to take charge with every situation or that may get tiring, but you should try to take charge at least as much as he does.
3
Be tough. Bad boys want people with a thick skin and they don't want to worry about whether or not they hurt your feelings every two seconds. Of course, if the bad boy is thoughtless or even verbally abusive, then you should ditch him ASAP, but if he treats you well, then you shouldn't second guess everything he says or does and be on the verge of tears if something doesn't go as planned. You can show him your softer side as you get to know each other, but it's good to work on keeping that skin nice and thick so the bad boy knows he can roll with you.
- If you get upset every time he teases you or feel emotional if he's five minutes late, then you'll come off as a bit weak and insecure.^{[9]
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- Learn to roll with the punches and only get upset when you have a legitimate reason to get upset. Of course, if he gets in the habit of being late all the time, then you should say something, but avoid getting prematurely upset or throwing a scene over something insignificant.
4
Challenge him. Real bad boys want people who give them a run for their money. You should show him that you're skilled and savvy and that you're not looking for a man to teach you how to do everything. While no relationship is great if you're constantly questioning your partner, if you keep him on his toes, he'll be even more interested in you. Don't get too comfortable with him and let him know that you want him to be dynamic and interesting and that you won't settle for less.^{[10]
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- If he takes you to the pool hall, don't let him wrap his arms around you and show you how to play; instead, beat him at his own game.
- If he cites a fact about Metallica that you just know is false, don't be afraid of calling him out on it instead of taking everything he says at face value.
5
Don't try to be bad if you're not. You may think that all bad boys only want bad people, but in fact, a lot of them like those who are more innocent-seeming, or who just like to do their own thing. If you'd already call yourself a bad person, then keep doing what you're doing, but don't feel compelled to wear black leather or dark makeup, to smoke cigarettes, or to curse a lot if that's not really who you are. Bad boys are much more attracted to those who are true to who they are than those who try to be someone they're not.
- Most bad boys are just as attracted to good people as they are to bad people, so you shouldn't worry too much about changing your image. In fact, sometimes bad boys and bad girls can be too much alike to be compatible.
- Bad boys have low tolerance for fakeness, and if you try to be someone other than who you are, then they'll be able to tell.
6
Avoid showing off. If you're really cool and hip, then the bad boy will know it without you having to say so. Avoid talking about how much your bike costs, how you're best friends with the lead drummer of your favorite death metal band, or how you're the best tattoo artists in East Oakland. Instead, let him figure out how awesome you are for himself. If you brag too much, that'll be a sign that you're just trying too hard to prove yourself.^{[11]
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- A true bad boy doesn't brag or show off, either. He doesn't like people who feel the need to talk themselves up too much.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Making it Last

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Most people who date bad boys are convinced that they can change them. Though there are some exceptions to this rule, most of these people end up disappointed when their favorite bad boy won't change his ways. If you want to really enjoy your relationship with your bad boy, then you shouldn't try to domesticate him and make him do things he doesn't want to do; instead, you should appreciate him for who he is instead of making him take yoga or spend an afternoon with your Aunt Mildred if that's not what he's into.
2
Have fun while it lasts. If you're dating a bad boy, then chances are that you're not looking for marriage with him. Though some bad boys can change, if you want to enjoy your relationship with him, then you should work on being present in the moment and enjoying every moment you spend together in the now instead of worrying about what lies ahead. Have a great time hanging out with him, dining with him, drinking with him, riding his motorcycle, and letting your hair blow in the wind. If you want the relationship to last, then the best thing you can do is to focus on fun.^{[12]
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- When you find yourself constantly worrying about where the relationship is going, you can have a talk with the bad boy about it, but you should know that this could discourage him.
- Think of your relationship growing from week to week, instead of thinking about what you'll be doing in a year. If you want a guy with a clear future plan, then you should try going for some of those nice guys who are always asking you out at work.
3
Make sure he's not abusive. There's a difference between being a bad boy and being abusive. If the guy you're with is either abusive to you verbally or physically, then it's time to remove yourself from the situation ASAP.^{[13]
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Trustworthy Source

HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

Go to source} No guy is worth the pain and suffering you'll have to face from abuse, even if he keeps promising that every time is the last and that he'll change his ways. Bad boys can be fun to date as long as they don't pose any harm to your well-being.
- If you're being abused, talk to a close friend or family member and create a plan for leaving the situation as quickly and as safely as possible.
4
Don't let him boss you around. If you want to enjoy your time with the bad boy, then you can't let him dictate every little thing you should do together. Though you may think he wants to be completely in control, you should give him a run for his money and show that you have ideas for where you should eat and where you should go over the weekend. Make sure you're both equally in control and don't let him tell you how to act, dress, or look; he'll like you much more if you stand up for yourself and prove yourself to be independent.^{[14]
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- Most bad boys, if they're the harmless kind, like someone with their own initiate and don't actually want to be in control all the time.
5
Don't put pressure on him. If you want your relationship with the bad boy to last, then you can't put pressure on him to move in with you, meet all of your friends and family members, or marry you any time soon. Bad boys like to run free and to do their own thing, and as soon as you put the pressure on, he'll start to back off. Though it's natural to want the relationship to move forward, you should know that you're dealing with a bad boy and that he may be allergic to commitment.
- Let him move at his own pace. If he wants to meet your friends or family members, then he'll ask to do it. You can casually mention meeting up with them to see if he wants to come, but you should avoid telling him that your friends or family members are dying to meet him, or he'll feel suffocated.
- Don't compare the progression of your relationship to the progression of other relationships, either. Just because your best friend and your neighbor both got engaged this month doesn't mean that you two should do the same.
6
Don't be jealous or possessive.^{[15]
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Research source} If you want to make it work with the bad boy, then you can't keep tabs on him 24/7 to make sure he's been loyal to you. You've got to trust him to do his own thing because he has an independent spirit. If you text him every half hour, pop in on him unannounced, or just act insecure when he talks to other women, then he'll quickly get tired of your routine and will look for a woman who doesn't want to keep him on a tight leash.^{[16]
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- Of course, if he's really flirtatious with others, then that's something you should have a talk about. If he's just having harmless interactions with others and you're on his case, then his alarm bells will go off.
- You have to be able to trust a man in every relationship. If he's legitimately suspiciously gone for hours, then you can ask him where he went, but if you freak out every time it takes him fifteen minutes to return your call, you'll be creating a fuss.
7
If it doesn't work, don't underestimate the nice guys. Though you may think that you only want a bad boy in your life, in the end, you should know that there is a wealth of nice guys at your work or near your home that would love to get to know you. If you're looking for a level of commitment a bad boy won't give you, then you may have to look elsewhere to really get what you want. Instead of being skeptical of guys who actually want to get to know you without a chase, give the next guy a chance and see what happens. You may be pleasantly surprised.
- Ask yourself what you're so afraid of when it comes to nice guys. Do you think they'll all be too boring, too sincere, too serious? Give one of them a chance and you may see that your expectations will change.

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Question

How can you boost your confidence?

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Nicole Moore is a Love and Relationship Coach and the Founder and CEO of Love Works Method, a private coaching and digital course service for women looking to find the right partner. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in body language and helping others take control of their dating life, attract a partner, and build a strong relationship. Nicole has been featured in numerous publications such as Cosmopolitan, Forbes, and USA Today. She also hosts Love Works with Nicole Moore, a podcast for modern women wanting love, dating, and relationship advice. Nicole holds a BA in Public Relations and Spanish from Syracuse University and a Certificate in Personal Coaching from New York University.

Nicole Moore

Love & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

Write at least ten amazing things about yourself. Think about your unique talents and skills. When you focus on the positive aspects of your personality, you will feel more confident.

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How do you differentiate between infatuation and love?

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Nicole Moore is a Love and Relationship Coach and the Founder and CEO of Love Works Method, a private coaching and digital course service for women looking to find the right partner. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in body language and helping others take control of their dating life, attract a partner, and build a strong relationship. Nicole has been featured in numerous publications such as Cosmopolitan, Forbes, and USA Today. She also hosts Love Works with Nicole Moore, a podcast for modern women wanting love, dating, and relationship advice. Nicole holds a BA in Public Relations and Spanish from Syracuse University and a Certificate in Personal Coaching from New York University.

Nicole Moore

Love & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

The feelings of an infatuated person can change quickly. At one moment, they may be madly in love with someone. But when the other person does not do what they want, they can start hating them. But when a person loves someone, they steadily build positive feelings toward the other person over time.

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Tips

Some of them are purely in it for the sex, so don't be a doormat.^{[17]
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Remember, "they" aren't always the same, and often they have a background to why they might act the way they do, if they act cold too you understand they may have been hurt in the past. Whatever you do, do not push it, let them breathe.

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Don't cling on to them as because it may scare them away, but don't try and be too hard to get or they may give up.

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They cause a little drama, but they love drama.

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They can be a pain, but they will love you.

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They live up to their title "bad boy", and it can cause some drama for you if he is a real troublemaker or a real G (gangster)

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They can have a bad attitude sometimes. If you get in an argument with them then don't challenge them at that point, because that will be an argument that will never die! Just walk away and usually they apologize.

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If he talks to you about others he might not see you in that way.

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