11 Signs a Guy Is Nervous Because He Likes You

Figure out if he's just an anxious person, or if you've got a hold on him

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey and Dev Murphy, MA

Last Updated: November 22, 2024 Fact Checked

It's notoriously hard to tell when someone likes us, but when that person is shy? It's a whole other ballgame! So, when a guy acts like a nervous wreck around you, how can you tell if he's just shy, or if his behavior means something more? We've got it covered: keep reading to learn how to tell if a guy is tense around you because he likes you…or if he’s just a nervous kind of fella!

Things You Should Know

If he's just a nervous guy in general, he'll probably act the same way around other folks, but if he acts more anxious around you, he may have a crush on you.
A guy who likes you will go out of his way to touch you, but a shy guy will probably be more subtle about it—such as by "accidentally" grazing your arm.
He might be too nervous to talk to you, but he may talk to your friends about you to see if you might be interested in him.

1

He’s more nervous than usual.

Download Article

If he’s particularly anxious around you, you may have an effect on his mood. Observe his attitude and behavior and compare it to how he is when you’re not interacting with him. If he’s generally a pretty nervous guy, him being nervous around you may just be his normal behavior, but if this guy is usually super charming and confident, him being nervous may be a sign he’s crushing on you.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- If you talk to him online and he’s confident and talkative, but gets nervous in person, it’s possible he likes you and is overwhelmed by face-to-face interaction with you.

2

He finds excuses to touch you in subtle ways.

Download Article

A bold guy might aim for a hug, but a shy guy will be less obvious. Nervous and confident guys alike usually go out of their way to touch you if they like you. However, shy guys will probably not do it as frequently or as overtly as bolder dudes, and they're less likely to touch you in a way that could result in rejection (e.g., they're not gonna ask for a hug and risk being shot down). He'll probably keep it casual and short-lived, like "accidentally" grazing your hand or letting his knee rest against yours for a few seconds when you’re sitting side-by-side.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- If he's shy, it’ll likely be limited to light, temporary physical contact, but if the physical contact gets uncomfortable or crosses any lines, tell him to stop and set some boundaries.

3

He asks your friends about you.

Download Article

He may be too nervous to talk to you, but he might talk to your pals. You won’t necessarily find this sign by looking for it, since if he’s careful, you won’t be around when it happens. But sometimes, if guys are interested, they’ll ask your friends about you. This is a very clear indication that he likes you.
- If you like this guy, make sure your friends know what to say to him if he asks about you! Or, turn the tables and ask his friends about him: “Do you know if Carl likes anyone?”

4

He mirrors your body language.

Download Article

He might unconsciously do what you do, like cross your arms. If this guy is a nervous guy by nature, he might fidget or stammer around you without it meaning anything more than that. But if he’s interested in you as more than “just a friend," he might subconsciously mirror your own movements.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- To tell if his behavior indicates interest, watch how his body language shifts when he’s chatting with a friend versus chatting with you. If he angles or leans toward you or gets closer to you than other people, he's probably into you.

5

He fidgets.

Download Article

If he doesn’t have much experience talking to people he likes, he might subconsciously start fidgeting while talking to you. This sign of nervousness could be an indicator that he's into you.^{[4]
X
Research source}

6

He’s always standing close to you.

Download Article

If he likes you and is super nervous about it, standing next to you in the lunch line every day may be as much as he can handle. See if he naturally gravitates towards you in a crowd or seems to magically be sitting by you in every class you have together. And when you’re sitting together, notice if he becomes close enough for subtle body contact. These are good indicators that he likes you.^{[5]
X
Research source}

7

He smiles a lot around you.

Download Article

One of the easier signals a guy can give is to simply smile. If this guy acts like a nervous wreck when you're around, but he's always got a smile for you? Odds are, he's into you. You can tell a sincere smile from a polite one because a sincere smile will engage the entire face, including the eyes, rather than just the mouth.^{[6]
X
Trustworthy Source

Association for Psychological Science
Nonprofit organization devoted promoting trustworthy research and education in the psychological sciences

Go to source}
- If you like him in return, be sure to give a smile back. This may help him feel more confident around you.

8

He looks at you a lot.

Download Article

See if he's looking at you when he thinks that you're not looking. If he’s too nervous to make actual eye contact with you, he may still look at you a lot when you’re not paying attention. Once you catch him staring, he might immediately look down.
- If he’s feeling bold and doesn’t look away when you catch him staring, hold his eye contact. If you feel like you've held eye contact with him for even a fraction of a second more than you would with anyone else, then there may be something there.^{[7]
  X
  Research source}

9

He listens to you talk.

Download Article

He'll want to chat, but he'll let you take the lead. Any guy who's into you will want to know about you: your likes and dislikes, your dating history, and what you do in your spare time. But a shy guy may be more likely to let you take the lead in the conversation because he's too nervous to do it himself, and asking you to talk about yourself is the perfect way to hand the convo off to you!^{[8]
X
Research source}
- To indicate your interest and get him to open up more, embrace a common interest if he becomes excited. Over time, he'll likely relax and the conversation will become more even.
- He won't just ask you about yourself: if he likes you, he'll remember what you say, too.

10

He mumbles around you.

Download Article

Some people naturally mumble, but if he doesn’t seem to mumble around others, it may be that he has a crush on you. If you’re in this scenario and want him to relax, rest your hand on his shoulder or his upper forearm, smile at him, or laugh at his jokes—making him feel more relaxed and confident may help him loosen up and lose the mumble.

11

You make a move—and he reciprocates.

Download Article

He may be waiting for you to ask him out, so why not take a chance? This is arguably the best way to find out if he likes you—if you like him and think he may be too shy to admit he likes you, give him a call, text him, or slide into his DMs. See if the conversation moves naturally, and if it does, maybe ask him to hang out sometime.
- You can tell if he’s invested in the conversation by how he responds to what you say. He may be too shy to offer much to the conversation at first, but if he replies by asking open-ended questions that further the conversation, he’s in—if he offers only polite, short responses, he may not be very invested.^{[9]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  
  Harvard Business Review
  Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices
  
  Go to source}
- If you're chatting online or over text, note how quickly he replies. If he offers consistently fast responses, take it as a sign he might be into you.
- If it seems like the conversation is going well, try asking him out: “It’s really fun talking to you. Maybe we should hang out next weekend at the coffeehouse.”
- Reader Poll: Did you know that out of 594 wikiHow readers, 74% said that they've never actually asked out their crush? [Take Poll] While asking out your crush can be nerve wracking, by having the courage to ask, you’ll find out if they like you back and feel proud for putting yourself out there!

Expert Q&A

Search

Add New Question

Question

How do you tell if a guy is nervous talking to you?

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey

Relationship Expert

Expert Answer

The biggest indication that someone is nervous is talking very fast. Or they can say something embarrassing unintentionally.

Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
Thank you for your feedback.
If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
Yes No

Not Helpful 10 Helpful 48