This article was co-authored by Shelby Devlin, MA and by wikiHow staff writer, Jennifer Mueller, JD. Shelby Devlin is a Sex & Intimacy Coach based in San Francisco, California. She has over 7 years of experience guiding individuals and couples in deepening their capacity for intimacy and pleasure. Shelby specializes in BDSM therapy, D/s, and fetish exploration. She earned an MA in Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State University and is certified in the Somatic Method, an experiential therapy modality. Shelby is also a certified massage therapist (CMT) and an associate practitioner of Ortho bionomy. She has a 5-star coaching rating.
There are 12 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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For a lot of people, sex is a pretty important part of any romantic relationship. Sure, it's not the only thing, but it's up there—and maybe you feel like you could be better at it. That's totally normal! Of course, you want to knock your partner's socks off. If you'd like to be a better lover, you've come to the right place. We interviewed expert psychologists and sex therapists to find out how you can become a better lover, both in and out of the bedroom.
Things You Should Know
- Communication and intimacy are key to a great romantic and sexual relationship. Spend quality time with your partner in and out of the bedroom.
- Flirt with your partner and show appreciation so they know that you're interested in them all the time.
- Stay in the moment during sex and don't be afraid to try something new. Accept those moments of awkwardness and share a laugh together.
Steps
Quiz Pack: We’ve handpicked these quizzes just for you.
Expert Q&A
Tips
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about improving your sex life, check out our in-depth interview with Shelby Devlin, MA.
References
- ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sex-pleasure-and-sexual-dysfunction/sex-and-pleasure/how-do-i-talk-my-partner-about-sex
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0146167297234003
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/darwins-subterranean-world/202112/why-partners-need-validate-each-other
- ↑ https://extension.usu.edu/relationships/faq/the-importance-of-showing-gratitude-to-your-partner
- ↑ https://www.gottman.com/blog/pursue-your-partner-at-every-stage-of-marriage/
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/improving-your-self-esteem-can-improve-your-sex-life
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindfulness-insights/202001/9-ways-mindfulness-practice-can-improve-your-sex-life
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/201811/spontaneous-vs-scheduled-sex
- ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sex-pleasure-and-sexual-dysfunction/sex-and-pleasure/how-do-i-talk-my-partner-about-sex
- ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/5-things-you-need-to-know-about-sexual-consent
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/tips-to-improve-your-sex-life.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/underneath-the-sheets/202009/when-sex-feels-awkward
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-good-sex-matters/202204/how-talk-about-sex-your-partner
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindfulness-insights/202001/9-ways-mindfulness-practice-can-improve-your-sex-life