13 Ways to Be an Obedient Child

Co-authored by Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS

Last Updated: October 16, 2024 Approved

Do you want to be a better person? Do you hate that look of disappointment in your parents eyes? Or do your parents favour a more obedient, mature sibling and you want to be like them? Then it's time to respect your elders, not just because you will make them happier, but it will make for a more respectful environment.

1

Do what your parents say.

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No, you don't have to obey all of their orders like a soldier. But, if they tell you to do your homework, do it, for example. And you don't have to follow everything to the letter. I recommend you to think a bit before doing that. If your mother tells you to wash the dishes, for example, they probably just would like you to help.

2

Do chores without being asked.

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If you can see that something needs doing, do it. If you overhear your mother complaining about having to do the dishes, give her a surprise and do them for her.
- This isn't about being obedient. You will need these when you grow up, and if you don't learn now, how are you supposed to live on your own?
- Do a nice thing to your parents, but not just to make them happy. Do it because making others happy makes you feel like a better person.

3

Treat your parents with respect.

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Don't answer back, use bad language, or act bored when they are talking to you.
- You don't have to always be obedient, but be respectful. Not only to your elders, to everyone, even the bad kids in your school. You will earn respect from others too and feel happier, because you know you are doing the right thing.

4

Do something nice for your parents.

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After all, they've been doing so much for you! A simple homemade gift or card works well. You can also do some chores. Actually a simple thanks works. They don't want much. Just, "thanks".

5

Try to be forgiving.

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Parents are humans too and can make mistakes. Instead of snapping back at them or patronizing them, be mature and try to understand their situation. Ignore the aspects which you don't like and instead focus on what you like in them.

6

Be grateful.

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It is not easy to be a parent. As a child, we are not even aware of the hard times they may have gone through while raising us when we were infants and toddlers. Recognize their good qualities and appreciate them for all the good they have done for you. You should be grateful because they made you see this world. You know how hard and painful is pregnancy? And be grateful to everything in life, not only parents. Focus on the present and be grateful, you will feel better.

7

Treat your siblings with love and respect if you have them.

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Treat them as you want them to treat you. If your siblings are younger, help them. When they want to play with you, play with them (unless you are doing chores or homework; then tell them no politely). They look up to you and admire you so set a good example. If your sibling(s) are older, then respect them and look up to them. They might not be your parents or even adults, but they are still your elders.

8

Get good marks and school reports if possible.

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Get good marks and school reports if possible. Your parents will be happy if you get an A or a B, but actually you should want to get good grades for yourself! You don't get a mark for them, but for yourself. The marks are only a letter or a number. They show how much did you study or your engagement or your level.
- Pay attention in class and do your homework. Use a weekly planner, so you already know what you have to do!
- Study and work hard. Parents and teachers don't only look at your grades, they look if you studied or not.
- If you get a bad mark, don't worry. Just don't hide it from your parents, they will find out anyway. They care about your education, not your grades.
- Consider that studying is a privilege. Lots of children, especially girls, don't get access to education. Even if you don't go to a private school, you are still luckier than many children in the world.

9

Wear clean-cut clothing.

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Stop wearing clothing with offensive messages on them. Find your style: goth, dark academia, punk, preppy, kawaii, cottagecore, steampunk, VSCO, ulzzang, emo...and these are only a few! Or if you just want to wear jeans and T-shirt, go for it. You should start developing your own style.

10

Care for your personal hygiene and health.

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Parents/guardians shouldn't have to nag you to take a shower/bath. You should care about it for yourself, not them. Wash your face every day and brush your teeth every day.

EXPERT TIP

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist

Prioritizing your well-being is important for both you and your family. You'll be a better, friendlier member of your family if you take time for yourself. The better you feel, the more equipped you'll be to make your home a happy place!

11

Don't wear too much makeup if your parents don't want you to.

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If you desperately want makeup, ask your parents nicely and give some reasons. If they say no, please don't throw tantrums or such, ask for the reason instead.
- Maybe your style needs makeup, in that case, if your parents allow it go for it!
- This isn't for your parents, this is for you. Make-up is fun, it makes you experiment and feel different, but if it becomes a mask that you can't leave, ask you some questions. And remember, everyone can be beautiful even without makeup!

12

Respect the dynamic between you and your parents.

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Understand that your parents are adults and you are a child. So they probably have more experience than you and this is why you should not obey, but just give a try to their tips. They have been kids too once and probably are just worried for you! Of course there are exceptions, but usually parents want the best for you and try to make sure you don't make their past errors.

13

Accept that you are a child.

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You may not like this, but it's true, you are a child, even if you are intelligent. Adults will generally know more than you just because they have been around longer.

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Tips

Be mature, sensible and reliable.

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Keep your room tidy.

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Don't bully anyone even if everyone else does.

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Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

Enjoy innocent childhood activities like playing games or doing chores instead of engaging in too much screen time. Parents like seeing kids just being kids, rather than being prematurely exposed to technology.
While you have less life experience now, remember that you're learning from your parents and will keep maturing into a capable adult someday, too.
Develop positive habits and share your talents and interests with your parents. They love hearing about their children's skills and passions.
If your siblings try to push you around, don't escalate things — calmly report it to your parents so they can handle the situation.
Before interrupting an adult when they're talking, politely wait for a pause in the conversation. Good manners go a long way.
Speak up respectfully during family dinners — it's a nice time to bond. Go ahead and have a pleasant conversation!

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Warnings

Don't get any kind of punishments in school, including being told off, so don't talk when the teacher's talking, don't forget equipment, and don't chew gum in class.

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Helpful 24 Not Helpful 3
Turn your phone off in class. Only take it to school if it is allowed in the school and also by your parents.

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Helpful 22 Not Helpful 3
Don't swear or speak ill of anyone.

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Helpful 22 Not Helpful 3