How to Caress a Woman

Co-authored by Stefanie Safran

Last Updated: September 6, 2024 Fact Checked

Sure, you may feel like you're an expert at kissing a woman or in holding her hand — but how do you truly caress her? Caressing a woman is a way to show her how much you love her, and it doesn't have to be sexual. You have to know how to be gentle and thorough at the same time, and how to make all parts of a woman's body feel loved. The most important thing to do is to make sure she's comfortable with it — after that, you just have to give her the attention and affection she wants and needs.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Caressing Her Face and Neck

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1
Caress her lips with yours. When you lean in for a kiss, you shouldn't try to plant your lips on hers and ram your tongue in her mouth. Instead, be gentle and take things slowly, especially at first. You should move in to give her a soft kiss and then pause to caress her lips with yours by holding the kiss for a few seconds. You can caress the top lip and then the bottom lip, showing her that kisses really matter to you.^{[1]
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- Too many men look at kissing as a move that just leads to something else. You should treat kissing like it's a unique pleasure instead of making her think that all you want is more.
2
Caress the sides of her face with your hands while you're kissing. As you kiss the woman, hold her face with one or more of your hands. Don't grab her face at once, but slowly ease into this gesture and make it feel natural. Then, gently place a hand on the side of her face and stroke her cheek, her ear, her hair, and the side of her face along the jawline. This will make her feel loved and will even bring its own pleasure.^{[2]
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- You shouldn't try kissing this way every single time. Instead, surprise her with this intimate gesture when the moment feels right.
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3
Caress her ears. While you're kissing, you should try to gently touch her earlobes, the sides of her ear, and the area behind her ears. Do this slowly and gently, as you're cupping her face. You can slide your hand under her hair, and stroke her ear as you continue to kiss. A woman's earlobes don't get nearly enough attention, and most women love this.
- If you're already intimate, you can also brush your lips along her ears — that will drive her wild.
- This is almost always a great move, but make sure you check her expression to see how she likes having her ears touched. Some women's ears are so sensitive that they prefer that you don't touch them.
4
Caress her neck. The neck is another place where you can never touch a woman enough. Gently stroke the sides of her neck while you're talking, kissing, or just looking at each other. You can even toss her hair back so you can caress her neck a bit more, just by running the sides of your fingers up and down her neck, down to the base of her shoulder and all the way up to her earlobe.^{[3]
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- If you're doing this while standing behind her, you can even blow a little bit of hot air onto her neck for added pleasure.
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Stroke her hair. Stroking her hair is another wonderful caressing gesture. You can gently stroke the back of her head and massage her scalp, run your fingers through strands of her hair playfully, or even brush the hair away from her eyes as you make eye contact, leading her to want something more. You can also stroke her hair as a way to also touch her cheeks, her earlobes, and her neck, and eventually to give her a kiss.
- You can even tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear — this will give you an excuse to give her ears an extra caress.
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Stroke her lips. Caressing a woman's lips before you kiss her is another sensual gesture that she will love and be impressed by. The next time you're ready to kiss her, tease her a little by pulling back and then by running a finger along the middle of her lips. Give her a subtle smile as you do this before you lean in to give her a kiss in the place you just touched. She will be touched and surprised by this form of caress.
- You can also give her a gentle kiss, pull away, stroke her lips with your finger, and then lean in for another kiss.

Part 2

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Caressing Her Body

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1
Caress her hands. Early in the relationship, caressing a woman's hands can be one of the safest and most intimate places to go.^{[4]
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Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.} There's a difference between putting your hand in a woman's as if it's a limp fish, and in gently touching, stroking, and even massaging the woman's fingers and palms. If you and the woman are on a hand-holding or touching basis, then you can reach out to gently touch one or both of her hands and impress her with how loving and gentle you can be. Here are some things you can try:^{[5]
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- Lightly trace a circle in her palm
- Gently hold onto one of her fingers with two of yours and stroke it up and down
- Massage her palm, knuckles, and outer hands
2
Caress her shoulders. If she is wearing a top that reveals her shoulders you should definitely run your hands along them. Gently touch her shoulder with the tips of your fingers and then stroke them downward with a bit more force. You can also run one finger along her shoulder to give her an extra bit of excitement. Remember that you don't have to caress her shoulders, ear, or the side of her face while you're kissing — this gesture can be intimate and special enough on its own.
- Women also love to get massages. If you're alone and the mood strikes you, you can use both hands to firmly push into the area above her shoulder blades to knead out some of the tension in her body.
3
Caress her knee. The knee is another part of a woman's body that is overlooked all too often. If she is wearing a skirt or dress she will probably appreciate the warmth of your hand on her soft skin. You may also want to run your finger down into the bend of her knee. This is one of the many erogenous zones that can be found on a woman's body. Just don't try this move when it's hot out — she may sweat there a little, and you don't want to embarrass her.^{[6]
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- You can also caress a woman's knee just by lightly stroking it when you're sitting down, even if she's wearing pants.
4
Caress her upper thigh. If you know she is willing, you can slowly run your hand along the top of her leg then down along her thigh. This can be more of a sexual move that leads to more, or you can just touch her thighs for the sake of it. You should be pretty familiar with each other for you to try this move, though. Don't think she'll be okay with it just because you've reached the kissing phase.
- When you're caressing her thigh, use a light touch instead of a squeezing motion, or she may feel a little overwhelmed.
5
Caress her back and shoulders from behind. You don't always have to be facing each other or kissing each other for you to caress a woman. You can stand behind her and gently touch each of her shoulders, placing your head into the back of the side of her head and then moving your hands along her neck and shoulders with gentle and loving motions.
- You can also leave one hand more firmly placed on her shoulder while sliding the other hand down her back, along the sides of her neck, and even down her arms.
Stand behind the woman, move her hair to the side, and kiss the back of her neck while you move an arm to the bend of her waist and move your fingers up and down there gently, like you're kneading her. This is a place where women —as long as you're on intimate terms — really love to be touched.
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Caress the small of her back while you're hugging. Women love to be hugged and to feel the gentle affection of a man's love. You can embrace your woman for a long time, but you should keep things interesting. Without getting too handsy and moving your hands too much, you can place one hand on the small of her back and gently move it up and down. This will make your woman feel loved, and if she's upset, this will help reassure her.
- You can also place your hand on the small of her back when you're walking somewhere to lead her forward. Women love to be touched like this too.
8
Stroke the inside of her wrist. If you're sitting down and holding hands, you can gently stroke the inside of her wrist. This is a very sensitive area and she will definitely feel a tinge of pleasure when you touch her here. You can even trace a circle around her palm and then make your way down to her wrist. Then, you can even stroke her forearms and up to the crooks of her elbows.
- Just make sure she doesn't feel ticklish — if she does, then she won't be feeling much pleasure. You want to keep your touch light but meaningful.
9
Gently run your hand along her spine. Tracing the area of her spine above her lower back, up to her neck, and back down again can definitely make a woman feel more than a bit of pleasure. This is a very intimate gesture and it'll really send the message if you do it while you're hugging or holding each other. You can also try it when you're giving her a kiss, but that's not necessary.
- This works best when she is wearing a dress or another fabric that allows you to easily trace her spine.
- When you reach the bottom of her neck, consider giving her a kiss in that area.
10
Caress her feet. There are few things that some women love more than a good foot rub. The next time you're alone, just have her lie or sit down and place one of her feet in your hands. Then, gently massage the soles of her feet, the knuckles of her toes, the pads of her toes and feet, and even the area on the top of her foot. Be very gentle, at least at first, because her feet may be sore, especially if she's been on them all day, and then work your way up to massaging them more thoroughly, by kneading her feet with your fingers.
- If you really want to give her a good foot massage, you can even rub some oil or lotion onto your hands.
This is a more sexual area, but if you're at that point with the woman, then sometimes nothing can be better than gently caressing her on the navel. Gently trace the area around her navel and then move your hands slightly up or slightly down to prolong the pleasure. You can caress other parts of her body and then return to the navel if you really want to drive her wild.

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Question

Can I take a girl home on my first date?

Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Stefanie Safran

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Statistically, that will not work out well for you because less than 10% of the couples who have sex within the first three dates make it through a year. The second reason is safety, and at this point, even health. People of all age groups need to feel comfortable before doing it.

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Question

Is it okay to kiss a girl on the first date?

Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Stefanie Safran

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Kissing a girl on the first date is inappropriate. People feel that they need more information before doing that. It takes three first dates to do it.

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Question

How can I get close to a girl on a date?

Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Stefanie Safran

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

You can do certain things to make the girl feel more comfortable, like open the door for her and offer her a compliment. Then you can sit close to her and touch her hand a bit.

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Learn where at least some of the women's erogenous zones are located on her body. She will love you for it and you will enjoy discovering them!

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Take your time holding and caressing her. It will relax her and open her up for more exciting things.

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Like mentioned in the above steps. Most women do not like to be tickled so avoid it at all costs and proceed to tickle her ONLY if she is ok with it.

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Some girls are more sensitive about touch. Try to pay attention to how she reacts when you touch her.
Try to slow at first and what she likes and dislikes. Remember that all girls are different.

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