How to Confess Your Love to Someone

Co-authored by Connell Barrett

Last Updated: June 6, 2024 References

You may be nervous about confessing your love to someone, but you'll feel so much better once you get your feelings out in the open. With a little preparation, you can turn confessing your feelings into a special moment you won't forget.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Weighing the Situation

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Take a step back. Be rational for a moment, and take stock of the situation. Consider your relationship to this person, and try to predict how they will receive your words. Ask yourself whether there's a realistic chance that they love you back. If so, then you just need to how to figure out how to make your move. If not, then you will need to tread very carefully.
- Perhaps you have fallen in love with a friend, but you aren't sure if they love you back. You will need to think long and hard about how your confession of love will affect the friendship. Falling in love with your best friend can be wonderful – provided that they return your feelings.^{[1]
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Make sure that you mean it. If you have never been in love before, it may be hard to understand the implications of this phrase. There are many types of love: friendly love, familial love, romantic love. If you truly feel that you are romantically in love with this person, then you should tell them. However, it is important to consider the gravity of your words.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}
- Love means something different to everyone. Some say that young people tend to confuse "true love" with a shallower level of infatuation or "puppy love." Others believe that you can feel deep, meaningful love at any age.^{[3]
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Do not tell someone "I love you" just to get them to pay more attention to you. Only say this if you plan to follow up on your words. Romantic love usually implies a certain level of care and involvement with a person.^{[4]
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Ease into it. Instead of saying "I love you," you can start out by saying things that hint at how you really feel. ^{[5]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}
- Gauge how the person responds to the less-serious confessions. If they are receptive to your words, and says that they like you a lot too, then there's a higher chance that your confession of love will be well-received.
Be bold. Consider that life is short, and that love is a perfectly valid feeling. If you love someone, there will always be a chance that they do not love you back, or that they will fall out of love with you down the line. However, this is a thing that is inside you, and it is a thing that you cannot ignore.

Part 2

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Setting the Scene

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1
Choose a romantic setting. Try for a quiet place where the two of you can be alone. Take him/her to a restaurant, or to a garden, or to a sweeping outdoor scene when the sun is setting. Make sure that they feel safe and comfortable here.
- The particular place will depend on who you're confessing your love to. Choose a place that is special to both of you.
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Make a meaningful moment. Confessing your love can be a big deal for both people involved, and it's important to make it special. You can plan it out, or you can wait for an organically intimate moment. The moment might be sweepingly dramatic, or it might be wonderfully simple. Say it when you feel truly inspired.
- This might happen during a beautiful sunset after a perfect day together, or when "your song" comes on during a big school dance, or when you're both laughing together, happy simply to be with one another.
- Watch romantic scenes in movies and shows for inspiration. Analyze the scenes when the protagonist confesses their love. Understand the mood that you want to strike.
You can make a dramatic public confession, if you feel that it's appropriate. Remember, however, that the person you love may not appreciate the unexpected attention. This is especially important if you aren't sure how they will react. If you are alone together, then you give the person the space to respond more comfortably.
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Plan the confession. Arrange to meet the person, if you don't already have a date to meet up. Ultimately, in the moment, you will need to let things take their course. However, you can certainly set the scene so that your confession is romantic and timely. Make sure that you won't be rushed, and that you know what you are going to say.
- You can also write your confession into a letter, if you cannot be with the one you love. This method can still be very intimate, even if it is a little more abstract.^{[6]
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Don't confess your love when someone is distracted with something else, or worried about something, or preparing to leave. The words will be more powerful if you're gazing into each other's eyes. If you're already having a special moment together, then you can probably proceed. Sometimes, admittedly, there will be no "right time." Get their attention by saying, "I need to tell you something important."

Part 3

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Confessing Your Love

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When the time feels right, lock eyes with the one you love. Eye contact signals that you are sincere. It also gives you an immediate indication of how she feels about what you're saying, and it should make the two of you feel more connected.
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Say, "I love you." It's as simple as that. If you truly love this person, then you don't need to justify it or add any frills. If you feel so inclined, however, it never hurts to wax poetic and qualify your love a bit. Only say as much as you feel impelled to say.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}
- Consider explaining the story of how you came to love this person. Say something true, and honest, and sweet. Make it unique, and make them feel special.
- Say it casually or earnestly, depending on your comfort level. Make sure that this person knows you're serious.
Kiss them. If your love says "I love you" back: get excited. This is a special time. Ride the wave of loving emotion and take the experience to an even more magical level. No matter what happens, this is a moment in your life that you will remember for years to come.
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Be patient. Give the object your affections time to process what you've said. In some cases, they might confess love right back. On the other hand, if your confession is a surprise, they might need to think about it. Listen and be respectful. Don't make any assumptions.
- If the person doesn't return your feelings, then that's okay. You may be hurt, but do not be angry. Accept it.
Be proud of yourself. No matter how your love responds, proud of yourself for telling him/her how you feel. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone that you love them, and mean it. Whatever happens: now they know.

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Question

How do you admit your feelings for someone?

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

Connell Barrett

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

You could mention that you want more out of the relationship or that you would like to be exclusive. Or, you could simply tell the other person that you enjoy being with them and want to continue seeing them.

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Question

Is it OK to confess your feelings?

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

Connell Barrett

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Yes! Sometimes, the only way is forward, even if you are afraid. As long as you're honest and authentic, you're doing the right thing.

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Tips

Be patient and respectful. If the person needs time to think about your confession, then give them some time. You can't force love.

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Plan ahead. Think about what you will say, and try to imagine how you will react if they say either yes or no.

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If you are too shy to do it, try writing a confession letter instead. This can be much easier.

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The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

If you're too nervous, you can write a letter confessing your love. If you do, still try to present it in person, so that they know you're real.
It's okay to be nervous! Just be yourself, and don't try to hide your nerves. They show that you're honest and that this means a lot to you.

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