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The ultimate guide to getting a guy to fall for you
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If you have a new boyfriend or crush, it’s no surprise you want him to be obsessed with you—in a healthy way, of course. We're here to help you make sure he thinks of you just as often as you think of him. Keep reading for the best tips and tricks to make him obsessed with you, from increasing your self-confidence to showing him you’re interested. You’ll have him wrapped around your finger in no time.

Things You Should Know

  • Make him obsessed with you by being confident. He’ll see that you’re not afraid to be yourself and want to get to know you better.
  • Show genuine interest by listening and supporting him. If he knows that you like him, he’ll like you more, too.
  • Be flirty. Everyone wants to feel attractive, so don’t be afraid to playfully tease him.
8

Be vulnerable.

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  1. If you’ve been hurt in the past, it can be hard to let people see the real you. Tell him about your fears and insecurities. Let him know how you feel about him. By showing him your vulnerability, he can see he can also open up to you. Make him feel special by allowing him to see a side of you only he can see.[3]
    • Let him know how you’re feeling. Whether you’re happy, sad, or angry, don’t keep it bottled up. This way, your partner can try to help you explore and understand your emotions.
    • Being vulnerable reduces conflict. If he hurt your feelings, tell him. Use “I feel” statements to avoid sounding accusatory or escalating the situation. This way you’ll both see you can maturely handle potential conflicts and continue your relationship in a healthy manner.
11

Be confident.

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  1. Practice self-confidence so he can see how incredible you are. Live authentically and don’t do things just because everyone else is. Even if you choose not to do something he’s interested in, he’ll see that you’re strong and confident, which are some of the most attractive things you can be.[6]
    • Learning how to be confident can be tough, but don’t give up if you’re struggling! Sometimes you have to fake it til you make it. Start by standing up straight and holding your head high. Even if you don’t feel confident yet, others will perceive you this way and be more likely to approach you and find you attractive.
    • Remember your good qualities. If you start feeling self-conscious, switch your mindset and instead focus on all the things you like about yourself. This way, you can train yourself to think positively, and others will see the difference and want to get to know you even more.
    EXPERT TIP
    John Keegan

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Building confidence takes time, so be patient with yourself. The more you interact with others and step outside your comfort zone, the more confident you'll become.

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12

Be flirty.

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  1. Don’t be afraid to touch him or playfully tease him now and then. Studies find men also prefer direct flirtation, so compliment him on his appearance or ask him for his number. Flirting helps keep the spark alive, and he’ll always want to come back for more.[7]
    • When you want to flirt with a guy, body language is key. Start by making eye contact and smiling. Don’t cross your arms or close yourself off. Show him that you’re open to continuing the conversation.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 776 wikiHow readers about what body language they find irresistible, and only 6% said that they're attracted to people who touch their hair. [Take Poll] So while getting touchy-feely too soon may not be the best strategy, you can still be flirty by making solid eye contact and smiling often.
14

Create healthy boundaries.

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  1. While you might always want to be with him, it’s healthy to have personal space. When both of you respect each other’s boundaries and take time away from each other, he’ll see that you’re independent and you support his autonomy, too.[9]
    • Start by communicating. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, or financial, among others. Set healthy boundaries by letting your partner know what traits you like in a relationship, what behaviors bother you, and how much alone time you need.
    • Remember, your boundaries can change. As your relationship develops, you may find you like things you didn’t before or vice versa. Always let your partner know when you change your mind about something so you can continue to develop a healthy and respectful relationship.

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About This Article

John Keegan
Reviewed by:
Dating Coach
This article was reviewed by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Raven Minyard, BA. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been viewed 177,194 times.
53 votes - 67%
Co-authors: 4
Updated: November 28, 2024
Views: 177,194
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 177,194 times.

Reader Success Stories

  • Heather M.

    Heather M.

    Apr 26

    "It's given me some encouragement and stuff I can try in attracting someone 'special'."
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