How to Control Your Overconfidence

Co-authored by Seth Hall

Last Updated: April 19, 2023 Approved

Many teenagers go through a period of time when they seem to think they are indestructible, the "Nine foot tall and bulletproof" stage. Overconfidence contributes to this, and learning one's limits or going through a reality check can be painful, or worse.

1

Be honest with yourself first.

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When you carefully consider your abilities, you should begin to recognize your limits.^{[1]
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- Journaling and reflecting on your abilities can be a great resource. At the end of the day, try writing about what you accomplished so you can see where you did well and what needs improvement. Take that self assessment seriously, as it can be extremely helpful.

2

Do not compare yourself with others.

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Just because someone else can get "serious air" on an 8 foot (2.4 m) half pipe doesn't mean you can. They have paid their dues with practice, and probably lots of bruises.^{[2]
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3

Test yourself cautiously.

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4

Listen to criticism, especially constructive criticism from people you trust.

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This may be one of the most important steps in abating your overconfidence. This is not necessarily to say critics are always right, far from it. There is a possibility they are right, and because they see you from a different perspective, you should hear them out.^{[3]
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- Having a growth mindset, as opposed to a fixed mindset, will definitely help you understand that hearing criticism doesn't mean you're not a good person. There's more than just "good" and "bad" and we can all evolve.

5

Treat commitments seriously.

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When you tell someone you will do something, be realistic in how much effort and time it will take. Promising to help paint a buddy's car, even though have never done it, may turn into a three day project if you are a victim of your own overconfidence.^{[4]
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6

Take time to look at your failures, or incidences when you did not achieve your own personal goals.

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Not only will this help you to shape a realistic measure of your ability, it will help you to focus on skills, strengths, or other qualities that you need to work on.^{[5]
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7

Keep fantasies separate from realities.

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We all see superhuman feats and stunts on TV, and movies like Jackass take these to extremes, but these are accomplished by talented, unique individuals who often train all of their lives in their own disciplines. Sure, gymnasts make the parallel bars look easy, you don't know how many gallons of sweat it took to get to that level.

8

Try new sports, activities, or pursuits.

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If you take an overconfident view of easy success, and you fail, you may become discouraged and give up too soon. Rumor has it, Albert Einstein was lousy in grade school.^{[6]
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9

Remember you are a unique person.

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Confidence or overconfidence can be a pitfall to be avoided if you mix modesty with your enthusiasm.

Expert Q&A

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What's wrong with overconfidence?

Seth Hall
Life Coach
Seth T. Hall (ICF ACC, CLC, and MNLP) is a Certified Life Coach and Founder of Transformational Solutions, a Los Angeles-based life-coaching company that helps people achieve their toughest goals, find their own voice, and think outside the box. He has been a life coach for over 10 years, specializing in personal development, relationships, career and finance, and wellness. He has helped his clients break the negative cycles in their lives and replace them with a positive, proactive mindset. Seth believes that everyone has the potential to live a fulfilling and rewarding life, and works passionately to help them reach their full potential. With a deep understanding of how our minds work and the power of positive thinking, he encourages his clients to find their unique paths in life and find success on their own terms. He is a certified master practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a featured co-author for WikiHow, and co-author of "The Mountain Method”, “The Happy Tiger”, and “The V.I.S.I.O.N.S. Program”.

Seth Hall

Life Coach

Expert Answer

Overconfidence is akin to arrogance. It is almost like competence at the expense of other people and it doesn't really make you attain real happiness because it doesn't foster healthy relationships.

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Tips

You might want to actually consider what you are going to do with an analytical view. Sometimes overcoming overconfidence can actually result in a loss of confidence in oneself. So, be aware that killing your confidence isn't the key to overcoming overconfidence.

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Take note of near misses, failures, and disasters. Ask yourself if overconfidence contributed to them.

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Don't let friends pump you up to try something you are unprepared for. If you start to climb the ladder and have doubts, back up and reconsider.

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- Try working with a coach or a therapist to take a look inwards and discover where that feeling of overconfidence stems from. This can help you a great deal!

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