How to Cook For Your Girlfriend

Co-authored by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Last Updated: April 2, 2024 References

Cooking a delicious meal for your girlfriend is a great way to show her how much you appreciate her. Even if you’ve never cooked before, you can make a wonderful meal and turn your night into a romantic memory you’ll never forget! You’ll need to do some prep work ahead of time to make sure everything’s ready to go on your special night. You’ll then need to actually get in the kitchen and cook! Finally, be sure to keep the romance going while you’re eating and in the future.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Prepping Ahead of Time

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Ask your girlfriend if she has an open night coming up. Tell her you’d like to have her over to your house, and that she should plan to come hungry.^{[1]
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Decide if you want to surprise your girlfriend. If you want the meal to be a surprise, you’ll have to do some extra work to keep things under wraps. You won’t be able to tell her directly about the meal, so you’ll need a good excuse to get her over to your house without eating first.
- You can still ask her if she has a free night coming up, but be vague about the reason. Say: “Oh, I was just thinking we could go out that night. Can you keep it open just in case?”
- Tell your girlfriend to meet you at your house right when you plan to have dinner ready, and try to line your timing up with your girlfriend’s typical dinnertime. When she opens the front door, she’ll be surrounded by the wonderful aromas of your cooking!
- If you’re worried that your girlfriend might eat dinner before your date, tell her that your plans involve eating. Just don’t tell her you’re the one doing the cooking!
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Write a cute note to confirm the date a week out. If it’s not a surprise, confirm your plans with a sweet, handmade note. Send it in the mail, or drop it off in her mailbox at work or school.^{[2]
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- You can write something like: “One more week until I get to use food to show you how much I love you! Hopefully I don’t blow up the kitchen in the meantime…”
- If you’re sending it in the mail, give it at least two to three days to reach her. Write the actual date of the dinner in the note in case it doesn’t reach her exactly one week ahead of time.
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Pick a recipe well ahead of time to make a grocery list. Go online or use a cookbook to find a recipe. Choose something that matches your skill level in the kitchen and that your girlfriend will enjoy eating. Finalize your recipe plans a week ahead of time.^{[3]
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- If you’ve never really cooked before, don’t attempt to make something like crème brûlée and boeuf bourguignon. Complicated recipes like these will have you running for the hills in no time.
- A great menu for a beginner- to intermediate-level cook would be something like baked chicken thighs with skillet-roasted tomatoes and garlic. This dish lets you cook two dishes in one pan! Add some buttery grits or risotto to make it complete.^{[4]
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- Be sure you know what your girlfriend can't eat. Plan a meal that won’t trigger any food allergies or violate dietary restrictions (like being gluten-free or vegan). Also, if her religion or culture prohibits eating certain foods, understand how this might affect the cooking process.
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Pick some good music for the meal. Choose romantic music to set the mood. It should be something you can play softly in the background. On the day of the dinner, put this on before you start cooking so it’ll be ready when your girlfriend arrives.^{[5]
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- Jazz is always a good bet for romance. Go with Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughan, Norah Jones, and Michael Bublé for a blend of the old and new. If you prefer instrumentals, try Miles Davis.
- If you want to go the extra mile, make a mix of your girlfriend’s favorite love songs. She’ll recognize the effort and get nostalgic over the tunes.
- In a pinch, you can choose from a variety of romantic genre stations on streaming services like Pandora or Spotify.
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Buy fresh ingredients one to two days before the dinner. Make a grocery list that includes all the ingredients you need for your meal. It’s best to do this trip just a day or two before the meal so you’ll have super fresh meats, vegetables, dairy products, and herbs. Put these items in your fridge as soon as you get home.^{[6]
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- You should also buy any cooking supplies mentioned in your recipe that you don’t have at home, especially a good, sharp knife.
- Vegetables should go in humidity-controlled drawers with the setting on “high.”
- If you both drink alcohol, add a bottle of wine to your shopping list.
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Do some prep work the night before if you can. Depending on your recipe, there’s probably lots of steps you can get out of the way ahead of time. Make any marinades for meats and marinate overnight. You can also chop vegetables and herbs if you’re going to be pressed for time. Don’t use the same knife to chop produce and meat products.^{[7]
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- If you’re making dessert, this can almost always be made the night before the meal. Shortbread cookies or red velvet cupcakes, for example, will both be just as yummy a day later!
- The night before is also a great time to think about when you’ll need to start making each dish. Time them out so they’ll all be ready at the same time.
- Hard vegetables like onions, peppers, broccoli, zucchini, and squash can be chopped up the night before without getting too brown. Softer veggies (including lettuce and other leafy greens) and fruits will turn brown unless you put them in a covered bowl of ice water with a squeeze of lemon juice. Leave all chopped items in the fridge overnight.^{[8]
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Set the table before you start cooking. Add some candles, flowers, and a fancy tablecloth to make things look elegant. Use disposable plates and utensils for easy clean-up, or bring out the nice china to make it extra special.^{[9]
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- Try getting creative with a theme. Match the music, food, and your decorations to transport you and your partner to Rome, Paris, or a tropical island.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Making the Meal

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1
Clean the kitchen to give yourself a good cooking space. Even though you’re about to get messy in there, you should start with a clean slate. This will prevent any germs from getting on your food, which is key for keeping you and your girlfriend happy and healthy.
- Remember to wash your hands before you handle the food and anytime you touch raw meat.
- To keep things sanitary, don’t forget to use separate knives to chop fresh produce and meat products.
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Start with the dish that will take the longest to cook. Some recipes will take hours to finish, so make sure you get started on the most complicated dish early. Once you’ve got this in the oven and out of the way, it’ll be easier to focus on your side dishes.
- If you’re cooking a roast, for example, once this is safely tucked in the oven, you’ll have some free time to focus on everything else you need to do!
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Multitask with sides dishes once your main dish is cooking. Side dishes are usually less complicated and time-consuming that the main course. Focus on these once the star of your plate is simmering away.
- For example, it’s not too hard to whip up some scrumptious mashed potatoes and a nice spinach salad while something else is cooking away in the oven.
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Clean up as you go. Put any pots, pans, and utensils you’re finished with in the sink. Whenever you get a free couple of minutes, handwash these items and set them aside to dry. You can also quickly wipe down the counters every so often. This will keep things from piling up.
- You don’t want the kitchen to look like a bomb went off in there when your girlfriend arrives.
- Put dishwasher-safe items in the dishwasher to make this process go a little faster.
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Don’t leave the kitchen while you’re cooking. Don’t leave boiling liquids or simmering pots unattended. They could easily boil over, ruining your dish and possibly causing a fire hazard.^{[10]
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- If things are just cooking away in the oven, you can run to the bathroom or another room. Do not leave the house, however.
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Set the oven to 200℉ (93℃) to keep dishes warm. If you finish one dish before the others, you can set the finished items in a warmed oven to keep them nice and toasty. Try not to leave dishes in the oven for more than about 15 minutes, though. Much more than that and they could lose their flavor or get overly dry.^{[11]
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- Be sure to use oven-safe containers. Do not put plastic in the oven.
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Serve food no more than 15 minutes after it’s done cooking. Get your food on plates and out on the table soon after it comes out of the oven. If you wait too long, your food may get cold or dry out. Make sure your girlfriend experiences your cooking at its best!^{[12]
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- To make the meal as fancy and romantic as you can, you should serve and arrange the food yourself. For a more casual buffet set-up, transfer the food to nice bowls and serving plates and put them on trivets on your table.
- If you’re cooking a large piece of meat like a roast, you should let it rest for about 10-20 minutes before cutting it to serve.^{[13]
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- Reheating food can sometimes ruin it, so try to avoid having to do this. If you use the microwave, only heat things up for 30 seconds to about a minute at a time.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Making the Romance Last

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1
Keep the conversation moving with good questions. You finally made it to the dinner part of the evening! Savor the meal and your girlfriend’s company. Ask her how her day was or how work is going and pay close attention to her answers.^{[14]
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- If you want to go deeper and get to know your girlfriend better, you can ask them some personal questions. For example, ask: “What’s your favorite childhood memory?” or “Which person has made the biggest impact on your life?”^{[15]
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- Show her you’re listening by nodding or tilting your head and maintaining eye contact when she speaks. You can also build on her comments with follow-up questions.
Extend the evening with an after-dinner activity. Pick out a board game the two of you enjoy playing or watch a romantic movie. Sit close together and relish each other’s company.
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Take care of the clean up yourself. Since this is your gift to your girlfriend, be sure to handle the dishes on your own. She may try to insist on helping, but gently encourage her to relax. Remind her that you want this night to be a special treat for her.
- If your girlfriend doesn’t live with you, tell her not to worry -- you’ll take care of the clean up after she leaves.
4
Make cooking for each other a habit. Cooking for your significant other is a great way to mix up your routine and show your love. To cook either together or for each other more often, think of a few meals you’d love to try making. Write them down and use a date night here and there to work through your list.^{[16]
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- Be sure to ask your girlfriend which dishes she likes. Keep track of her favorites and repeat those for special evenings!

What Are Good Date Night Recipes?

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Tips

Always wash your hands before handling ingredients and cooking.

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Practice making the meal before the actual night. Get a friend or two to come over and sample the first try, and see if your meal choices are do-able or disaster-worthy.

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