This article was co-authored by Gera Anderson, PsyD and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Flamiano. Dr. Gera Anderson is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with more than five years of experience. She specializes in integrated behavioral health, neuropsychological assessment, and pain management, and has worked in community mental health settings, correctional facilities, psychiatric hospitals, and schools. Dr. Anderson received an MEd from The University of Minnesota, Twin Cities and a PsyD in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University.
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Have a friend you love spending time with, but they have a friend you just hate? That’s definitely not an easy spot to be in! Luckily, it’s totally possible to work around this situation. Whether you're looking to get some space or maintain the peace, we've got all the advice you need below. Jump right in to learn how to keep your cool and maintain your friendship, no matter who enters the picture.
Things You Should Know
- Talk to your friend about your concerns in an honest and calm way.
- Show empathy for the position your friend is in.
- Try to be inclusive of your friend's buddy to keep the peace.
- Maintain strong boundaries while remaining polite.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Tips
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/relationships-intimate-and-more/202102/honest-conversations-in-relationships
- ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/active-listening-techniques/#:~:text=Activelisteningrequiresthelistener,presentandthebodylanguage
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-face-adversity/201209/positive-reframing-optimistic-thinking
- ↑ https://web-docs.stern.nyu.edu/pa/psychofrivalry_kilduff.pdf
- ↑ https://go.mccombs.utexas.edu/Rumors-in-the-Workplace-TEE-Blog.html
- ↑ https://mhanational.org/10-healthy-ways-release-rage
- ↑ https://www.hcbh.org/blog/posts/2023/october/controlling-your-emotions-when-people-speak-negatively-to-you-or-about-you/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/pro/recovery-expert/2020/03/how-to-protect-yourself-from-others-negative-energy#1
About This Article
To cope with a friend that is also friends with someone that you hate, try talking to them to explain how you feel. For example, say something like, “I'm not Sarah's biggest fan, we've never really gotten along well, but I don’t want it to come between our friendship.” Try to avoid gossiping about the person you hate around your friend, since you might look immature and make your friend uncomfortable. If you end up hanging out with both of them at the same time, make some polite small talk but keep conversations brief so you don’t risk arguing with them. However, if they start bullying or being mean to you, don’t be afraid to walk away from the situation. For more tips, including how to keep your emotions under control when the person you hate annoys you, read on!
Reader Success Stories
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"My best friend and I have been best friends for 9 years and just all of a sudden these two girls have a fight with their friend so then they come talking to my best friend and these two girls have done so many things to me and it got to the point where my best friend actually turned against me. And today I invited her to the mall but she said that she can't make it and when I asked her where she was going, she said her mom's friend's party butI went to the mall and I see her there with the girls. This article helped me. "..." more