This article was written by Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS and by wikiHow staff writer, Aly Rusciano. Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards.
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Being left out by a group of friends is painful at any age. Even though everyone experiences rejection sometimes, rejection can still make you feel lonely and sad. Your feelings are just as important as everyone else’s, and we’re here to help. Keep reading to learn how you can cope and deal with being left out.
This article is based on an interview with our clinical psychologist and published author, Asa Don Brown. Check out the full interview here.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Reader Videos
Tips
Tips from our Readers
- This has happened to me before. My two besties now have boyfriends, spend the weekend with them all the time, video chat them instead of me, and don't answer my texts. Try to keep yourself busy. My favorite thing to do is watch YouTube videos. YouTubers always put a smile on my face when I'm sad or left out.
- Don't focus on the negatives. If you're constantly being left out and can find no means to resolve the issue, leave that circle of friends and find a new one. There is no point in being surrounded by negativity. Don't stress about this either, keep your head high and concentrate on the positives ❤️
- Don't keep all your feelings to yourself. We all need to let it out sometimes. Don't feel like your problems are inferior or would be ignored. People might relate to how you're feeling more than you think!
- Real friends will not leave you out consistently. If a group of people start leaving you out, either talk to them about how you're feeling or try hanging out with different people. You deserve better!
- Everyone gets left out sometimes. Even popular kids! You can tell your friends how you feel, or find some new friends to hang with. Make sure you're not leaving anyone out too!
- Write down all of the good comments people have given you and put them in a box. Then, when this happens, go back and look at them to see what a fantastic person you are!
References
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/rejection.html
- ↑ https://psychiatry.uchicago.edu/news/17-easy-things-do-when-youre-feeling-lonely
- ↑ http://www.npr.org/2010/12/06/131734718/just-breathe-body-has-a-built-in-stress-reliever
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4814782/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conquering-codependency/202106/4-strategies-cope-rejection
- ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/how-to-make-friends.htm
- ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/how-to-make-friends.htm
- ↑ http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/rejection.aspx
- ↑ http://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/RealisticThinking.pdf
About This Article
If you're feeling left out, try to remember that you're still a fun, interesting person that people would be lucky to spend time with. Instead of dwelling on being left out, try to distract yourself by doing something that you really enjoy, like taking a hot bath and reading a book, going for a walk outside while listening to music, or going shopping. Also, consider talking to the person who left you out and letting them know that it upset you, which can help you feel better and prevent the same thing from happening again in the future. To learn how to move on with your life after being left out, scroll down!
Reader Success Stories
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"I was the one who ditched my friends because I felt awkward around them. I think they were trying to talk behind my back over the school hols taking advantage that I don't have a phone. At first it was me and my bff, then came this girl and we took her into our friendship group because we pity her. It has been a year after the girl has been hanging out with us because her other bff was caught up with another friend. When I came back form hols the both of the changed a lo t(my bff and her became closer). So I got angry and ditched them."..." more