How to Create a Safe Space for When You’re Feeling Low

Co-authored by Jennifer McVey, Cht

Last Updated: September 1, 2024 References

When you’re angry, counting down from ten is seldom going to help.^{[1]
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Research source} In fact, it will probably just irritate you when someone tells you to do that. Instead, it might just feel better to step back from it all and go back to a peaceful place in your mind. This wikiHow will help you create a safe place to which you can mentally withdraw and restore your inner harmony.

Part 1

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Creating Your Safe Place

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Imagine a place that you have always felt comfortable in. Perhaps it is your grandmother's cottage or the tent you slept in during a fun trip with your friends. It might even be as simple as your bedroom. The place doesn’t have to have a name. What if it was that little cave you spotted and explored while climbing a mountain? Consider deeply where you'd like your safe space to be, and what images and memories help you feel calm and centered.
- If you struggle to find your place, carry a notebook and pencil with you and take note of every little thing you like about a memorable (or newly found) place. Soon enough, you’ll look back at your notes and think, “Hey! I’ve found my safe place!”
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Imagine the space and ambiance as clearly as possible. Think about every little detail using each of your senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. Doing so will help cool you down while you gradually take your focus off what made you angry, diverting your attention to all these specific and calming details.^{[2]
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- Mentally play with your safe space. Perhaps you turn the finished building into night-time by imagining a full moon is out and there are billions of twinkling stars dancing unencumbered by city lights.
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Visualize a thousand candles lighting up the area. The candles can be anywhere– on a shelf, on the grass, or even just floating in the air!
- If you are more of a realist, imagine that the candles cannot burn anything. They are only there to bring light and warmth.^{[3]
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Thank yourself for fleshing out your safe place. You have done it! The next time you feel out of sorts, simply envision your safe space and focus on the feelings it brings you.
- Practice dissolving everything else in your mind and concentrating solely on that special feeling your safe place brings you.

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Using Your Safe Place

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Recognise the situation where you get angry.^{[4]
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Research source} This is very important, as it lets you identify and understand when you should be mentally ready to visualize.
- The best thing to do is to ignore the people who are annoying you. However, sometimes that’s not so easy, and that’s why this article is here.
Take several deep breaths to help calm you down.^{[5]
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Research source} Being calm is key to being able to visualize vividly in your mind's eye.
Use all your five senses like you did before. Try to zone out, without letting it show.
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Continue adding detail. This is where you build out your safe place and deepen the channels of thought by exploring every side of it. Then, work to slowly build these details into your mental picture. After you’ve finished your construct, focus on the pleasant feeling it gives you. Keep a hold of that feeling by consciously fixing your entire self upon it.
- To learn how to focus on a single feeling, train your brain by doing various focus exercises which you can find on the internet. Specifically, concentrate intensely on specific sensations and details. With time, you will be able to visualize your haven more intensely and with less difficulty.
- When you’re done, stay in your safe place for a few seconds or minutes, (depending on how stressed or angry you are), then inhale and exhale deeply. After that, exit your place, keeping that safe feeling with you. The control over how and when you picture your safe place can also help establish a feeling of control in the real world.

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How do I meditate to imagine a safe space?

Jennifer McVey, Cht
Spiritual Director
Jennifer McVey is a Spiritualist, Seer, and the Spiritual Director of Spiritual Answers and Solutions. With more than 22 years of experience, she specializes in manifesting, ghosts and spirit attachments, hypnotherapy, channeling, and spiritually based life coaching. Jennifer has also published 13 Affirmation Image and six Word Search Puzzle books in spirituality and self-help and has produced over 600 audio sessions.

Jennifer McVey, Cht

Spiritual Director

Expert Answer

First, select a location that feels safe and comforting to you. It may be a place already existing that you have visited, like a quiet beach or a warm room, or it may be totally imaginary, such as a quiet garden or a sailing pirate ship. Once you have selected the safe space, surround it with protective golden light. Now, visualize this light as a warm, shining, safe, golden glow that surrounds your space and keeps out any kind of negative energy, so you can feel totally safe. This light is an inside-outside safety feature—a shield of sorts—preserving the pure tranquility of your space. Bring your concentration to this golden light as you meditate, and let it work to bring forth more security and peacefulness. Imagine yourself inside this safe space, with no distraction or external influence. The golden light will keep your energy clear and protected, whether you use it for inner child work or just relaxation.

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If you don’t like it when it is dark, imagine your haven as having daylight.

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If your safe space makes you feel scared, annoyed, or neutral, you haven’t found your ideal space. Think about it more. Sometimes it might not be so straightforward and will take a little more work and visualization.

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If you are struggling to visualize or use your imagination, this article may help.

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