PDF download Download Article PDF download Download Article

Curious about what the odds are for a polyamorous relationship working out? Despite the way people with more than one romantic partner are depicted in media, polyamorous relationships are just as valid, healthy, and fulfilling as monogamous relationships. In this article, we’ll break down what goes into a polyamorous arrangement and walk you through what makes these relationships tick. We’ll also look at who tends to be a good candidate for polyamory and examine how long these relationships tend to last. Read on to learn everything you need to know about polyamory.

Section 1 of 5:

Can polyamorous relationships work?

PDF download Download Article
  1. It takes a lot of courage, honesty, and communication to make a polyamorous relationship work. If you can handle that and you believe that it’s possible to love more than one person, polyamory can absolutely work. However, it does take a certain set of beliefs and personality traits. If it isn’t right for you, that’s totally okay.[1]
    • Studies indicate that roughly 1 in 6 people want to try polyamory, while 1 in 9 have been in a polyamorous arrangement of some sort.[2]
    • Roughly 1 in 3 people who have been in a polyamorous relationship before would not want to be in one again, so it’s clearly not for everybody.[3]
  2. When it comes to the quality of the relationship, people in polyamorous arrangements tend to be just as happy as monogamous couples.[4] They also tend to be just as healthy and rewarding as well.
    • As a result, it doesn’t seem like there’s a huge difference between poly and monogamous relationships when it comes to how satisfying they are.[5]
  3. Advertisement
Section 2 of 5:

Reasons Why Poly Relationships Work

PDF download Download Article
  1. If you have more than one person in your life who can show you affection, ask you about your day, or talk to you about how you’re feeling, it’s easy to feel emotionally complete. Also, since you’re spreading your needs out among more than one person, poly folks tend to not have to do as much “emotional labor” for their partners.[6]
    • If one of your partners is having a rough day and really wants to be left alone, you can just go to another partner. In other words, you’re likely to always have someone there for you!
  2. Polyamorous folks tend to be very happy with their sex lives. This may be because polyamorous people are super communicative about their physical needs. It’s also possible that simply having more partners available means you have more options when you’re in the mood to be intimate.[7]
    • With that said, having more sex isn't all that polyamorous relationships are about. Polyamorous people are capable of loving more than one person, not just sleeping with them.[8]
  3. It’s easy to tackle financial roadblocks, or care for a child if you have multiple people to lean on. There are just so many practical resources. Need to move some furniture? You’ve extra hands on deck. Need a lift to a job interview? There’s always someone around to give you a ride.[9]
    • Polyamorous folks tend to experience a nice sense of community in their relationships as a result.[10]
  4. Advertisement
Section 3 of 5:

Challenges and Issues with Poly Arrangements

PDF download Download Article
  1. Having more than one romantic partner means that you have more than one person to check in on, care for, and spend time with. Depending on the size and hierarchy of a poly arrangement, it can be a lot of emotional work. It can also be a bigger time investment.[11]
    • People in poly relationships may end up with less “alone time” as a result, especially if they live with all of their partners.
  2. Knowing that someone you care about is spending time with another person romantically can be hard. It’s natural to be jealous sometimes, but you really have to be open-minded and have no problem with your partner sleeping with or seeing other people for a polyamorous relationship to work. For a lot of folks, that’s a tall order.[12]
    • This isn’t to say it’s bad to experience jealousy. A little bit of jealousy is totally natural in a relationship. Polyamorous people just need to be really, really good at managing those feelings in a productive way.
  3. The world does not make things easy for polyamorous people. Polyamorous people may experience trouble accessing adequate (and empathetic) medical care.[13] You can’t marry more than one person, which can be difficult if you’re in a committed poly relationship.[14] In general, things can just be harder—especially since so many people are closed-minded about polyamory.
    • It can be hard to explain your relationship to friends or family members, and you may be discriminated against or bullied for being polyamorous.[15]
  4. Advertisement
Section 4 of 5:

How long do poly relationships last?

PDF download Download Article
Section 5 of 5:

How do I know if polyamory is right for me?

PDF download Download Article
  1. It’s worth exploring if you think it’s right for you. There are no “rules” about who can or cannot be polyamorous. If you think it’s possible to love more than one person and you’re capable of managing (potentially) messy feelings, you can be polyamorous. If you do prefer monogamy—and many people do—that’s okay, too.[17]
    • It’s not like you can’t go back to monogamy if you find polyamory to be too difficult to manage for you.
  2. People who prefer polyamorous arrangements tend to be social, agreeable, and friendly. They also tend to be risk takers who have had a lot of vibrant life experiences. If you’re the life of the party and you experience boundless love for more than one person, polyamory might be right for you.[18]
    • Polyamorous folks also tend to be extremely trusting and honest, with a low level of jealousy.
  3. People who have high levels of these emotions usually have a tough time in polyamorous relationships. It can also be challenging to be poly if you shy away from conflict, or prefer concrete boundaries.[19]
    • The biggest determining factor in whether polyamory is right for you is whether you think it’s right for you or not. All different kinds of people find themselves in polyamorous relationships, so you should only rule it out if you’re not interested in it.
  4. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
Advertisement

Tips

Submit a Tip
All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
Name
Please provide your name and last initial
Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

You Might Also Like

KissKiss
Turn a Guy On Turn on a Guy
Impress a Girl with WordsImpress a Girl with Words
Birthday Wishes for Girlfriend100+ Loving, Funny & Appreciative Birthday Wishes for Your Girlfriend
What Are the Bases in DatingWhat Are the Bases in a Relationship? Defining the Baseball-Sex Metaphor
Know if Your Girlfriend Is Horny Tell if Your Girlfriend Is Horny: 12 Signs She's Turned On
Good Morning Message to Make Her Smile100+ Good Morning Texts for Her (& Other Ways to Make Her Smile)
Make a Girl Feel Special Through TextMake a Girl Feel Special Through Text
Happy One Month AnniversaryCelebrate Your One Month Anniversary with These Sweet Messages
Flirty Questions to Ask a GirlQuestions to Ask a Girl to Increase Intimacy
Show Appreciation for Your Girlfriend in Words11+ Heartfelt Messages to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Appreciated
Signs Your Ex Will Eventually Come BackSigns Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back
What's a Story to Tell Your Girlfriend15 Sweet and Romantic Stories to Tell Your Girlfriend
Drinking Games for CouplesThe 25 Best (and Spiciest) Drinking Games to Play as a Couple
Advertisement

About This Article

Jessica George, MA, CHt
Co-authored by:
Certified Professional Master Life Coach
This article was co-authored by Jessica George, MA, CHt and by wikiHow staff writer, Eric McClure. Jessica George is a Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Professional Master Life Coach, and Co-Founder of Evolve Therapy Coaching based in Glendale, California. With more than 20 years of experience, she specializes in hybrid therapy and coaching services, couples counseling, and clinical hypnotherapy. Jessica holds a Bachelor’s degree from The University of California, Santa Barbara and an MA in Counseling Psychology and Talk Therapy from Ryokan College. Jessica is trained in the Imago technique and the Gottman method for couples therapy. She also earned a Professional Life-Coach Certification from The Fowler Academy and an Infinite Possibilities Relationship Certification. She is a member of the International Board of Coaches and Practitioners (IBCP). This article has been viewed 21,429 times.
18 votes - 82%
Co-authors: 6
Updated: November 29, 2024
Views: 21,429
Categories: Relationships
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 21,429 times.

Did this article help you?

Advertisement