This article was co-authored by Jason Polk, LCSW, LAC and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Criglow. Jason Polk is a Relationship Counselor and the Owner of Colorado Relationship Recovery. With over 12 years of experience as a therapist, he specializes in helping couples build healthy and thriving relationships through counseling. Jason holds an MSW from Newman University, Colorado Springs. He is also a Level II Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT) therapist, Healing Our Core Issues (HOCII) Certified therapist, and has training in Relational Life Therapy (RLT).
There are 11 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Though it's no fun, it's perfectly normal and even healthy to get angry when you're in a relationship. When you spend a lot of time with someone, conflicts come up, no matter how in love or happy you are. There's a lot of ways to let out your anger, and some are better than others. So long as you give yourself time to process the way you feel, use “I” statements to avoid putting your partner on the defensive, and come from a place of good faith and understanding, you should be fine. Read on for some tips on expressing your anger while maintaining a healthy, strong relationship.
This article is based on an interview with our relationship counselor, Jason Polk, LCSW, LAC, owner of Colorado Relationship Recovery. Check out the full interview here.
Steps
How Do You Healthily Release Anger?
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you tell your boyfriend you are angry with him?Jason Polk, LCSW, LACJason Polk is a Relationship Counselor and the Owner of Colorado Relationship Recovery. With over 12 years of experience as a therapist, he specializes in helping couples build healthy and thriving relationships through counseling. Jason holds an MSW from Newman University, Colorado Springs. He is also a Level II Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT) therapist, Healing Our Core Issues (HOCII) Certified therapist, and has training in Relational Life Therapy (RLT).
Relationship CounselorIt depends on how angry you are and if you can be assertive without indulging in anger. That's usually the best approach. If not, don't interact and wait for things to calm down.
Tips
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If you or your partner engage in anger behaviors that make you feel unsafe, seek help. Use websites like https://www.thehotline.org/ to find resources and support.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.thehotline.org/resources/how-to-cool-off-when-youre-angry/
- ↑ Jason Polk, LCSW, LAC. Relationship Counselor. Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
- ↑ Jason Polk, LCSW, LAC. Relationship Counselor. Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/201709/6-ways-the-most-emotionally-intelligent-people-handle-anger
- ↑ Jason Polk, LCSW, LAC. Relationship Counselor. Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
- ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentID=4552&ContentTypeID=1
- ↑ https://www.thehotline.org/resources/how-to-cool-off-when-youre-angry/
- ↑ Jason Polk, LCSW, LAC. Relationship Counselor. Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
- ↑ William Gardner, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 26 March 2021.
- ↑ Jason Polk, LCSW, LAC. Relationship Counselor. Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
- ↑ https://www.parents.com/parenting/relationships/staying-close/building-a-strong-relationship-resenting-your-spouse/
- ↑ Jason Polk, LCSW, LAC. Relationship Counselor. Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
- ↑ William Gardner, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 26 March 2021.
- ↑ Jason Polk, LCSW, LAC. Relationship Counselor. Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/201709/6-ways-the-most-emotionally-intelligent-people-handle-anger
- ↑ Jason Polk, LCSW, LAC. Relationship Counselor. Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
- ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/marriage-communication-voice-tone-emotional-control/
- ↑ Jason Polk, LCSW, LAC. Relationship Counselor. Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/become-a-better-listener-active-listening#13-Steps-to-Better-Active-Listening-Skills
- ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/anger-in-relationships-owning-yours-softening-your-partners-0919134
- ↑ https://www.parents.com/parenting/relationships/staying-close/building-a-strong-relationship-resenting-your-spouse/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/201709/6-ways-the-most-emotionally-intelligent-people-handle-anger
- ↑ https://www.parents.com/parenting/relationships/staying-close/building-a-strong-relationship-resenting-your-spouse/
- ↑ https://www.uofmhealth.org/health-library/uz2255
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/anger-management.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/anger-management.htm